Carlos Xuma of
Dating Dynamics author of 'The
Dating Black Book'
*** Question from a Reader ***
I've worked really hard on my game with
women and have had some amazing results, I owe that to you so cheers.
I've met a woman who I really like and we've been dating for about a
month. She has told me she loves me just a couple days ago.
The problem I have is I don't want to go soft just because she's my
girlfriend, because I've always controlled the situation. How can I stay
on top because she's starting to be a bit bolder then she was before and
I don't want to give her the upper hand.
Thanks your wisdom would be much appreciated!
NR
British Columbia, Canada
Carlos Replies:
Well, I'll point out the obvious once again that if you USE this stuff,
you will get results. I hear about it all the time.
So you got yourself a girl... and now you want to KEEP her.
But she's starting to test you.
Yep, that's what she's doing. She's testing her boundaries.
You see, women can't control certain behaviors, just like men can't help
cleaning their ears with their car keys.
Women will always test the boundaries of their relationship by pushing
them as far as they can to see if they can grab the steering wheel away
from you. The horrible irony is that once they do get this control, they
realize that they don't want it - nor do they want the man that gives it
over to them.
And you end up being either a p---y whipped house-husband, earning her
the money while she nags you into an early grave, or she runs off with
the first guy that comes along with a real set of balls.
Let's be very clear about this:
Women want men who make them feel safe and protected.
If they feel that THEY are the ones running everything, how safe do you
think they feel?
How protected can you be if you can't be sure that the person you're
with is capable of INITIATIVE and ACTION when the time comes?
Sure, that time may never come, but that's not the point. We don't buy
insurance because we believe something WILL happen, like a fire or
accident, but because we want to feel safe in case it MIGHT happen.
A multi-billion dollar business with incredible profits, based strictly
on our fear of loss.
Hmmm.
In fact, we'd prefer to never entertain thoughts of that kind of
misfortune in our lives. But we want the protection in case it DOES.
How can a woman know if you're the man who will make her feel safe?
By setting clear and definite boundaries of acceptable behavior.
If this sounds like some kind of California new-age speak, guess again.
Boundaries are the most critical element of a relationship, because they
give each person clear expectations, and they give our emotions the
right amount of resistance.
An unbridled emotion is like a loose bolt of lightning. It will wreak as
much destruction as it can before it finally grounds itself out.
This is where the "Alpha Man" behavior comes into play, and why I talk
about it so much. I used to describe this as the "Dynamic Man" because
he understood the dynamics of the dating scene and could adjust, because
he came from a place of confidence.
I now add on to that definition to include many many more behaviors that
communicate to a woman that you are a dominant and high-value man.
So what do you do to keep this woman?
Keep up the banter.
Keep up the playful teasing.
Keep up your standards.
Keep up the effort.
Keep up the power of your cockiness and take-no-sh|t attitude. If she
gives you a hard time, give her one back. Don't ever let an interaction
go by where she feels like she bested you and grabbed the steering wheel
away from you.
Why?
Because you'll be setting a very bad precedent, and starting down a very
slippery slope. She'll panic inside, thinking "Ohmigosh! He's starting
to get wimpy on me!"
And then you get lazier and lazier, just wanting to keep the emotional
water calm and smooth.
A truly vibrant relationship IS dynamic. It has waves - ups and downs.
You have to be a good surfer to hang on.
Don't do what most guys do, which is seek the calm water in the middle.
You have to learn to love the ride, but not get swamped by the waves.
You stay on top by being skilled enough to ride and remain calm on the
inside.
And the reality is that you need a lot more than cocky and funny to get
women... There are a bunch of skills that you need to develop to win
over the hot women you see every day.
I cover this and many other topics in my e-books and audio. If you're
reading this and thinking that you'd like to learn more about how the
REAL players get the women, you can download the information right away.
If you want to get that kind of understanding and control over your love
life, you need to read my e-book. And you can get the benefits of my
best e-books, RISK FREE for the next 90 days.
Get my books, the audio, read them and hear me explain the strategies,
and then put it to work for you right away. I wrote them in a simple,
easy-to-use format that ANYONE can learn. Nothing is complicated, and
there's no dumb hypnosis routines to learn. Just the stuff that will
help YOU get more success with women.
THE DATING BLACK BOOK - This e-book set covers the dating scene, from
meeting women, to your best attitude, to strategies, to how to touch
women, to driving up their attraction, to dumping them when you need to
move on. Looking for a woman? This book shows you the BIG picture.
And this is how you join Carlos Xuma's free weekly newsletter:
www.datingdynamics.com/newsletter.htm
And this is where you buy 'The Dating Black
Book':
www.datingdynamics.com/ebookstore.htm
Thanks...
Carlos Xuma
www.datingdynamics.com
This work is copyrighted by the author. No
unauthorized duplication or presentation allowed. Copyright © 2005-2007,
Dating Dynamics Publications. All Rights Reserved
Do you know about the RULES for men? Do you
want to know how to counter her tests and games?
Do you know where to touch women to give them the chills and turn them
on to you? Do you know when to touch them? Do you know how to interpret
a woman's questions and interests, and turn them in your favor?
Do you want to stop shooting in the dark with your dating and finally
get some understanding of women? Some real tangible results?
It's tempting to wing it. It really is. Some guys think that they'll
"Figure women out" when they get to a certain point, except that point
never comes. Different women seem to want different things. (Or maybe
they're the same things?) It's too damn confusing.
It doesn't have to be anymore.
THE DATING BLACK BOOK breaks this strategy down in its entirety, from
preparing to meeting to passing their tests. It's the most complete
strategy out there. I'll even tell you how to interpret their behavior
and figure out which kind of woman you're dealing with - and most
importantly, how to avoid the bad ones.
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