Carlos Xuma of
Dating Dynamics author of 'The
Dating Black Book' available only at:
www.datingdynamics.com/ebookstore.htm
Do you know about the RULES for men? Do you
want to know how to counter her tests and games?
Do you know where to touch women to give them the chills and turn them
on to you? Do you know when to touch them? Do you know how to interpret
a woman's questions and interests, and turn them in your favor?
Do you want to stop shooting in the dark with your dating and finally
get some understanding of women? Some real tangible results?
It's tempting to wing it. It really is. Some guys think that they'll
"Figure women out" when they get to a certain point, except that point
never comes. Different women seem to want different things. (Or maybe
they're the same things?) It's too damn confusing.
It doesn't have to be anymore.
THE DATING BLACK BOOK breaks this strategy down in its entirety, from
preparing to meeting to passing their tests. It's the most complete
strategy out there. I'll even tell you how to interpret their behavior
and figure out which kind of woman you're dealing with - and most
importantly, how to avoid the bad ones.
Before I give up one of my secrets
about how to approach women, I want to talk about a dirty word with you.
Well, it's not a cuss word, but it's dirty because no one wants to talk
about it.
That word is: Prejudice.
What do you think of when you hear this word? For a lot of people it
stirs up some anger and bad feelings. It used to do the same for me,
too.
I grew up Italian and poor in a city in Upstate New York, near Buffalo.
I used to catch a lot of grief for my nationality, but also because we
had no money.
I remember distinctly one summer when I was working for the town. I had
a few weeks left in the program to earn some money, and I was a po'
little 15 year old kid. I just needed a few bucks to buy some stuff I
needed for the school year.
I remember sitting in the office of the town recreation board
supervisor. A big fat guy named Ron, if my memory serves. I sat there in
his front lobby for a while to wait and see if I would get the job for a
little longer that year.
Before my turn came to talk to Ron to find out, in walks big Vinny. No,
that's no dumb mafia joke. Vinny was the son of a local business owner
who had some clout in the area. Well, big Vinny and Big Daddy go into
Ron's office, while I watch Ron slap Vinny's dad on the back like they
were long-lost brothers. The door closes behind them and their laughter.
My heart sank.
Right then, I knew I didn't get the job. Vinny was all set, and Carlos
was out in the cold.
I remember sitting there with that disappointed feeling in my gut,
knowing that this little rich kid was going to screw me out of my few
extra dollars for the summer. Money that daddy could have given him in a
minute, but would take me a month to earn.
And now I wouldn't get it, and there wasn't a thing I could do about it.
It was the good ol' boy's club, and I didn't meet their membership
requirements.
Now, I could have gotten all mad about it, stomped my feet about it not
being "fair," and all. It really wasn't even Vinnie's fault. He couldn't
know.
But I remember having another realization. I thought that if Ron was
stupid enough to hire a lazy dweeb like Vinny, then they can keep their
lousy job.
Of course, that wasn't much consolation.
Until I came up with another realization: I would WIN.
No matter how much the odds were stacked against me in life, I would
prevail. I could have my dick kicked in the dirt, and I would get back
up again.
So why am I telling you this? Yet another of Carlos' childhood
stories...
Well, it's because the unfair situation that I found myself in doesn't
have to happen to you.
Even if it comes up in another way.
You're a victim of women's prejudice, and you might not be aware of it.
Just the same way I was as a kid, you are now. And it has nothing to do
with your appearance or color of skin or even your income.
Let's break down the word a bit.
Pre-jud-ice.
Pre-judge.
To judge too soon.
Get this:
It's been shown in some recent studies that we make snap decisions about
people based on facial expressions and body language that takes place in
less than the BLINK OF AN EYE. Literally.
I just finished this great book, "Blink" by Malcolm Gladwell. It's a
study of how the human brain makes all these complicated decisions
without us even knowing about it.
In his book, he talks about these indicators and signals that we don't
know we're seeing, but we're making judgments about other people based
upon them.
Now something I want to
add to this is that women are making them about YOU
without you knowing about it.
Some of them will change if you take control of them,
but a lot of them are tied DIRECTLY to your sense of
self-esteem. You'll show them because they're impossible
to control entirely.
Whoah. Think about that for a second. There are a bunch
of things you can control about your appearance and so
forth, but a lot of these behaviors are OUTSIDE your
control. (Well, not completely, as I'll explain.)
I think this means that a lot of guys out there are
treating the symptoms rather than the disease.
And that's exactly what you're doing if you are trying
to learn a ton of new "tricks" and seduction/hypnosis
tools without training yourself and working on your
INNER game first. All those cool hypnotic words and "negging"
techniques don't work right if you don't know how to
properly communicate your Alpha value to a woman.
Sure, you can "peacock," but you have to have the right
belief system to back it up or you'll come across as a
dweeb in a top hat and eye-liner.
There's some good news here, though. You can learn how
to approach women and override her "Blink" response to
you by bypassing it entirely.
That's right. When you demonstrate Alpha Male
confidence, you are creating the persona (a REAL
persona, not a fake) that will shut down or short
circuit her subconscious attempts to shut you out of her
life.
After all, on one hand, a woman wants love and affection
and all that comes with it ...
... but on the other hand she also wants a trouble-free
life. She has enough drama already, and she wants to
avoid any possible heartache. So she creates a lot of
fancy protection mechanisms to keep you from getting by
without impressing her in the right way.
Just like a rock concert where you can't get past the
big dudes guarding the band from groupies.
All you need is a backstage pass.
That backstage pass is a concise method for how to
approach women in any situation. To show, through your
verbal power, that you are -
- Confident
- Secure
- Interesting
- Fun
For a long time, I had a problem talking with women.
They just seemed like an alien life form to me. They
liked makeup and sleepovers and pop songs about "girl
power."
I felt like I had nothing in common with them.
But I finally figured out the amazing core elements of
good conversation, and they work like a charm on just
about everyone you'll meet. These elements can be
learned and practiced with just about anyone, anywhere.
Here's one of them:
- Start with a contextual "opener."
What is a contextual opener? Well, it's one that obeys
the rule of "Where the hell are you?"
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