Carlos Xuma Says...
Pick-up advice for men by Carlos Xuma based on 'The Dating Black Book'
Do you know about the RULES for women? Do you want to know how to counter her tests and games? Do you know where to touch women to give them the chills and turn them on to you?
Continue reading and you will.
*** Question from a Reader ***
I've worked really hard on my game with women and have had some amazing results, I owe that to you so cheers.
I've met a woman who I really like and we've been dating for about a month. She has told me she loves me just a couple days ago.
The problem I have is I don't want to go soft just because she's my girlfriend, because I've always controlled the situation. How can I stay on top because she's starting to be a bit bolder then she was before and I don't want to give her the upper hand.
Thanks your wisdom would be much appreciated!
British Columbia, Canada
Well, I'll point out the obvious once again that if you USE this stuff, you will get results. I hear about it all the time.
So you got yourself a girl... and now you want to KEEP her.
But she's starting to test you.
Yep, that's what she's doing. She's testing her boundaries.
You see, women can't control certain behaviors, just like men can't help cleaning their ears with their car keys.
Women will always test the boundaries of their relationship by pushing them as far as they can to see if they can grab the steering wheel away from you. The horrible irony is that once they do get this control, they realize that they don't want it - nor do they want the man that gives it over to them.
And you end up being either a p---y whipped house-husband, earning her the money while she nags you into an early grave, or she runs off with the first guy that comes along with a real set of balls.
Let's be very clear about this:
Women want men who make them feel safe and protected.
If they feel that THEY are the ones running everything, how safe do you think they feel?
How protected can you be if you can't be sure that the person you're with is capable of INITIATIVE and ACTION when the time comes?
Sure, that time may never come, but that's not the point. We don't buy insurance because we believe something WILL happen, like a fire or accident, but because we want to feel safe in case it MIGHT happen.
A multi-billion dollar business with incredible profits, based strictly on our fear of loss.
In fact, we'd prefer to never entertain thoughts of that kind of misfortune in our lives. But we want the protection in case it DOES.
How can a woman know if you're the man who will make her feel safe?
By setting clear and definite boundaries of acceptable behavior. If this sounds like some kind of California new-age speak, guess again.
Boundaries are the most critical element of a relationship, because they give each person clear expectations, and they give our emotions the right amount of resistance.
An unbridled emotion is like a loose bolt of lightning. It will wreak as much destruction as it can before it finally grounds itself out.
This is where the "Alpha Man" behavior comes into play, and why I talk about it so much. I used to describe this as the "Dynamic Man" because he understood the dynamics of the dating scene and could adjust, because he came from a place of confidence.
I now add on to that definition to include many many more behaviors that communicate to a woman that you are a dominant and high-value man.
So what do you do to keep this woman?
Keep up the banter.
Keep up the playful teasing.
Keep up your standards.
Keep up the effort.
Keep up the power of your cockiness and take-no-sh|t attitude. If she gives you a hard time, give her one back. Don't ever let an interaction go by where she feels like she bested you and grabbed the steering wheel away from you.
Because you'll be setting a very bad precedent, and starting down a very slippery slope. She'll panic inside, thinking "Ohmigosh! He's starting to get wimpy on me!"
And then you get lazier and lazier, just wanting to keep the emotional water calm and smooth.
A truly vibrant relationship IS dynamic. It has waves - ups and downs. You have to be a good surfer to hang on.
Don't do what most guys do, which is seek the calm water in the middle. You have to learn to love the ride, but not get swamped by the waves. You stay on top by being skilled enough to ride and remain calm on the inside.
And the reality is that you need a lot more than cocky and funny to get women... There are a bunch of skills that you need to develop to win over the hot women you see every day.
The Dating Black Book is for the guy who wants the whole dating
scene explained, and all the inner-workings of the social dynamics involving his interactions with women.
It's available here
Copyright © Carlos Xuma and Dating Dynamics Publications. All Rights Reserved.