Carlos Xuma Says...
Pick-up advice for men by Carlos Xuma based on 'The Dating Black Book'
Do you know about the RULES for women? Do you want to know how to counter her tests and games? Do you know where to touch women to give them the chills and turn them on to you?
Continue reading and you will.
Happy New Year to everyone...! We've got a HUGE article for you to kick off the new year. Starting with another guy who got my program and got it together:
You should win the Nobel Prize of Peace, for your contribution to the well-being of mankind! I truly believe that the stuff you teach is a lot more important for the peace in our lives and houses than anything else one can learn at school, with our parents, from (the pundits) books and from television.
I'm not kidding you, man! I teach at a university! I'm serious! You certainly deserve an "double" A++ Keep doing the EXCELLENT job!" - N. in Portugal
Now, we've got a lot of great things in store for you. So let's get started on a new year of dating and seduction success for you with our first article of the new year.
Do you guys remember last week's newsletter with the guy who was
cuddling his girl? I said: "If you don't, next week you'll be writing to
me wanting to know why she's suddenly gone after you left her flowers
Well, I hate to be right, but ...
"Carlos, you were right. That girl who claimed to be interested in the older guys told her cousin she has no interest in me. I don't get it though. She told me she was interested in me. We even kissed and everything. What's up with that?
She even told me she was looking to fall in love (Which I couldn't care any less about anyway) and she turned that around too. She said she never said that. Why would she lie? I don't get it man. The thing you said would happen did. I'm going to be ordering your audio coaching ...
Until then, what can I do about these chicks?"
What can you "do about these chicks?"
That's a VERY general question that has no answer. I suggest you work on the foundational skills with my audio (especially the Alpha Man program). It would help you a great deal. Remember, there is no "why." She just acts in a way that suits her emotions of the moment.
She told you she "WANTED" to fall in love? Puh-LEASE!
She's been programmed since birth to say things like that, dude! She was brought up on a diet of Walt Disney and Prince Charming.
Did you think she'd say, "I want to fall in lust and make wild monkey love with you!"
She doesn't know WHAT she wants, really. She wasn't lying to you, either. At least, not in her head. The real thing here for you to figure out is why you're confused. You're confused because you didn't take the right actions at the START.
You see, she would have been more predictable had you studied and used my strategies from the beginning.
Why is this?
Because MY STRATEGIES WORK. Now you're left holding the pieces and crying "Why, oh WHY?!?"
Would you ask WHY a scorpion stings its prey?
No, because it's obvious why. Because that's its NATURE. There is no "why," my friend. She's a 20-something WOMAN. That's all the "why" there is.
Move on. And listen to my advice next time.
On the issue of bar and nightclub approaches, my question is do the rules change in this environment. Do you still want to get a number, or go all the way the first night for a one night stand? One major issue that has come up for me in meeting women in bars is the noise. I have a soft weak voice and women usually can't hear me. I have to strain for them to hear me which seriously throws off my game. Any tips here?
Also, do you initially approach her the same way in these places, and what do you talk about once you've broken the ice with her?
I'm 22, and girls my age are usually very wild, but hard to pick up in bars. I have gotten a lot of fake numbers, as I would try to go straight up to a girl and get her number, without creating any connection.
First of all, let me remind you that if you don't establish a connection up front, you'll get nothing from her later. RAPPORT must be established or you'll just be shot down. And, I hate to break the news to you on this, but a weak, soft voice is the sure sign of a Beta guy. He's weak, timid, and afraid to project his voice (and personality.)
You need... VOICE THERAPY
You point out an important area that you should work on here, and that's the power, tone, resonance and overall quality of your voice. A soft, weak voice will hurt you, so you want to work on this. Women will interpret your tone and strength of voice to indicate a facet of your confidence. A soft voice says, "I'm shy and reserved."
The interesting thing is that when you learn how to speak with more power and authority, you start to FEEL more confident and powerful, too. One feeds off the other.
1) Hum a lot. This strengthens your diaphragm and trains your voice to work from deep inside you rather than from the nasally top of your head.
2) Practice tongue twisters. This can have a dramatic ability on your ability to speak and enunciate clearly. I knew a lot of performers who use this as a warm up.
3) Take some singing lessons. Who cares if you suck? I'm the worst singer in the world, but it teaches you how to get your voice from the proper spot. I've been told that I should do voice-overs, and I was even the voice on our voicemail at a company I worked for. All for working on the depth and resonance.
As for the approach, you're beginning to see something important about the number-collecting game. Women will give out a fake number to get rid of you and to make themselves feel important. They don't like to hurt guys' feelings (not thinking that a guy would actually be ten times more hurt at getting a wrong number than if she had the guts to say she wasn't interested in the first place.)
So the best thing to do is to call them on their bullsh*t right up front.
Here's what you do: When she writes down her number (make HER write it down, always), you take it and turn over the piece of paper and hand it back to her and say, "Now give me your REAL number." Don't smile or look like you're being a clown.
Watch her reaction. If she insists that this is her real number and it later turns out not to be, she has low scruples, and you should give her grief the next time you see her. Or, after she gives you the number, you can say: "Now, are you one of those gals who will give out a bogus number to avoid saying she's not interested?"
The point of these exercises is less about short circuiting their desire to give you a bogus number and more about you demonstrating a confidence that women respect and are more likely to give a good phone number to. Get it?
You should focus on developing that rapport and attraction before you get the number. Why would she want to give her number to someone she isn't attracted to or interested in? I don't blame her for giving you a fake number. The onus of responsibility lies on you to get her attraction mechanism started first. Use the Tease to Please strategy from the e-book.
And as far as conversation goes, this is the easiest
question in the world to answer.
What do you talk about?
Please, everyone, stay conscious after that shocking bit of news. Just talk about HER. What does she like to do? Find commonalities, point them out (without bragging) and then keep finding out more about her. She will want to see you more because you told her less about you and asked more about her.
And I know I repeated that more than a couple of times in the book.
Which leads me to remind you guys out there that reading THE DATING BLACK BOOK just once is necessary. Twice is better. Three is good. Four is improving. And for every time you keep reading it, you'll really be amazed at the difference in your ability and confidence.
I used to have a book about dating that I read over 30 times, and every time I read it I got more out of it than the last time. That's the way it works with materials like this. You'll put stuff together that you didn't see the first or second time through. I put in HUNDREDS of tips and strategies that work on their own, but work even better as part of a whole. You can't even catch all of the material the firt time, so you have to read through it again.
Trust me, it really works.
The Dating Black Book is for the guy who wants the whole dating
scene explained, and all the inner-workings of the social dynamics involving his interactions with women.
It's available here
Copyright © Carlos Xuma and Dating Dynamics Publications. All Rights Reserved.