Carlos Xuma of
Dating Dynamics author of 'The
Dating Black Book'
Do you know about the RULES for men? Do you
want to know how to counter her tests and games?
Do you know where to touch women to give them the chills and turn them
on to you? Do you know when to touch them? Do you know how to interpret
a woman's questions and interests, and turn them in your favor?
Do you want to stop shooting in the dark with your dating and finally
get some understanding of women? Some real tangible results?
It's tempting to wing it. It really is. Some guys think that they'll
"Figure women out" when they get to a certain point, except that point
never comes. Different women seem to want different things. (Or maybe
they're the same things?) It's too damn confusing.
It doesn't have to be anymore.
THE DATING BLACK BOOK breaks this strategy down in its entirety, from
preparing to meeting to passing their tests. It's the most complete
strategy out there. I'll even tell you how to interpret their behavior
and figure out which kind of woman you're dealing with - and most
importantly, how to avoid the bad ones.
Happy New Year to everyone...! We've got a
HUGE article for you to kick off the new year. Starting with another guy
who got my program and got it together:
"Big Carlos!
You should win the Nobel Prize of Peace, for your contribution to the
well-being of mankind! I truly believe that the stuff you teach is a lot
more important for the peace in our lives and houses than anything else
one can learn at school, with our parents, from (the pundits) books and
from television.
I'm not kidding you, man! I teach at a university! I'm serious! You
certainly deserve an "double" A++ Keep doing the EXCELLENT job!" - N. in
Portugal
Now, we've got a lot of great things in store for you in 2005. So let's
get started on a new year of dating and seduction success for you with
our first newsletter of the new year.
*************
Do you guys remember last week's newsletter with the guy who was
cuddling his girl? I said: "If you don't, next week you'll be writing to
me wanting to know why she's suddenly gone after you left her flowers
and poems."
Well, I hate to be right, but ...
---------------
QUESTION:
"Carlos, you were right. That girl who claimed to be interested in the
older guys told her cousin she has no interest in me. I don't get it
though. She told me she was interested in me. We even kissed and
everything. What's up with that?
She even told me she was looking to fall in love (Which I couldn't care
any less about anyway) and she turned that around too. She said she
never said that. Why would she lie? I don't get it man. The thing you
said would happen did. I'm going to be ordering your audio coaching ...
Until then, what can I do about these chicks?"
---------------
CARLOS ANSWERS:
What can you "do about these chicks?"
That's a VERY general question that has no answer. I suggest you work on
the foundational skills with my audio (especially the Alpha Man
program). It would help you a great deal. Remember, there is no "why."
She just acts in a way that suits her emotions of the moment.
She told you she "WANTED" to fall in love?
Puh-LEASE!
She's been programmed since birth to say things like that, dude! She was
brought up on a diet of Walt Disney and Prince Charming.
Did you think she'd say, "I want to fall in lust and make wild monkey
love with you!"
She doesn't know WHAT she wants, really. She wasn't lying to you,
either. At least, not in her head. The real thing here for you to figure
out is why you're confused. You're confused because you didn't take the
right actions at the START.
You see, she would have been more predictable had you studied and used
my strategies from the beginning.
Why is this?
Because MY STRATEGIES WORK. Now you're left holding the pieces and
crying "Why, oh WHY?!?"
Would you ask WHY a scorpion stings its prey?
No, because it's obvious why. Because that's its NATURE. There is no
"why," my friend. She's a 20-something WOMAN. That's all the "why" there
is.
Move on. And listen to my advice next time.
---------------
QUESTION:
On the issue of bar and nightclub approaches, my
question is do the rules change in this environment. Do
you still want to get a number, or go all the way the
first night for a one night stand? One major issue that
has come up for me in meeting women in bars is the
noise. I have a soft weak voice and women usually can't
hear me. I have to strain for them to hear me which
seriously throws off my game. Any tips here?
Also, do you initially approach her the same way in
these places, and what do you talk about once you've
broken the ice with her?
I'm 22, and girls my age are usually very wild, but hard
to pick up in bars. I have gotten a lot of fake numbers,
as I would try to go straight up to a girl and get her
number, without creating any connection.
------------------------
First of all, let me remind you that if you don't
establish a connection up front, you'll get nothing from
her later. RAPPORT must be established or you'll just be
shot down. And, I hate to break the news to you on this,
but a weak, soft voice is the sure sign of a Beta guy.
He's weak, timid, and afraid to project his voice (and
personality.)
You need... VOICE THERAPY
You point out an important area that you should work on
here, and that's the power, tone, resonance and overall
quality of your voice. A soft, weak voice will hurt you,
so you want to work on this. Women will interpret your
tone and strength of voice to indicate a facet of your
confidence. A soft voice says, "I'm shy and reserved."
The interesting thing is that when you learn how to
speak with more power and authority, you start to FEEL
more confident and powerful, too. One feeds off the
other.
Some tips:
1) Hum a lot. This strengthens your diaphragm and trains
your voice to work from deep inside you rather than from
the nasally top of your head.
2) Practice tongue twisters. This can have a dramatic
ability on your ability to speak and enunciate clearly.
I knew a lot of performers who use this as a warm up.
3) Take some singing lessons. Who cares if you suck? I'm
the worst singer in the world, but it teaches you how to
get your voice from the proper spot. I've been told that
I should do voice-overs, and I was even the voice on our
voicemail at a company I worked for. All for working on
the depth and resonance.
As for the approach, you're beginning to see something
important about the number-collecting game. Women will
give out a fake number to get rid of you and to make
themselves feel important. They don't like to hurt guys'
feelings (not thinking that a guy would actually be ten
times more hurt at getting a wrong number than if she
had the guts to say she wasn't interested in the first
place.)
So the best thing to do is to call them on their bullsh*t
right up front.
Here's what you do: When she writes down her number
(make HER write it down, always), you take it and turn
over the piece of paper and hand it back to her and say,
"Now give me your REAL number." Don't smile or look like
you're being a clown.
Watch her reaction. If she insists that this is her real
number and it later turns out not to be, she has low
scruples, and you should give her grief the next time
you see her. Or, after she gives you the number, you can
say: "Now, are you one of those gals who will give out a
bogus number to avoid saying she's not interested?"
The point of these exercises is less about short
circuiting their desire to give you a bogus number and
more about you demonstrating a confidence that women
respect and are more likely to give a good phone number
to. Get it?
You should focus on developing that rapport and
attraction before you get the number. Why would she want
to give her number to someone she isn't attracted to or
interested in? I don't blame her for giving you a fake
number. The onus of responsibility lies on you to get
her attraction mechanism started first. Use the Tease to
Please strategy from the e-book.
And as far as conversation goes, this is the easiest
question in the world to answer.
What do you talk about?
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