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Carlos Xuma: Women Want To Be Conquered

Carlos Xuma Says... Pick-up advice for men by Carlos Xuma based on 'The Dating Black Book'

Do you know about the RULES for women? Do you want to know how to counter her tests and games? Do you know where to touch women to give them the chills and turn them on to you?

Continue reading and you will.


The DBB kicks ass my friend and will certainly help recovering nice guys everywhere !!

A general question about the initial dating dynamic (on a rather philosophical level) and not a specific dating question quite yet :
What percentage of women, in your experience, after having their attraction mechanisms initially going wild because of the Alpha-Male characteristics that you've taught us to reclaim for ourselves (and for women), still need the special assurance of "It's really me, that he´s after, and he's not bedding every hottie that crosses his path" ?

Are the Alpha-Male behaviors enough most of the time to override her need (perhaps perceived on my part) to feel that special feeling of being pursued ??

I ask that question, because one always hears here in Germany the saying, "Women want to be conquered". I always considered that to be some silly German cliché, but is there any truth in it ??

Do some or all women along the dating continuum need to feel that yes, it is truly her that we are pursuing before they can open themselves to a sexual encounter ?? Damn, I hope that wasn't a "nice guy" question, because re-reading it, it certainly sounds like one...... :-)
Keep up the good work jedi-master


Ah, yes... I remember when I used to spar with Yoda in light saber duels...

Did you know Yoda used to be a total stud?

(And I'll forgive your "Nice Guy" tone... Heck, I think we're all "Nice" at heart, but need to learn the right way to show it to women. More on this in a bit...) For you guys that still don't have my e-book, you can get it here.

As for your German saying, yes, I believe that women DO want to be conquered. That is how she knows she's dealing with a real MAN. An ALPHA Man.

The one thing that women do not want to do is YOUR JOB.

Your job?

To seduce HER. A woman will not do your work for you. YOU are the conqueror.

First off, let's set one thing straight: It's not your job to give reassurance.

That's a tempting trap when you get to a certain point in the seduction process with a woman, to think that her doubts need reassurance. They don't. Nor is it her job to reassure you. That sets up an insecurity dynamic that can really get things off on the wrong foot.

When you switch gears into reassuring her instead of INCREASING her ATTRACTION, you drop the ball.

The best analogy I have for this is baseball: It's like being at bat, and then trying to get into the pitcher's head. You have to focus on one thing and one thing ONLY - hitting the ball. Let her do her job, you do yours. You are only there to respond to the pitch as it's thrown and swing accordingly, not try to change the pitcher's thinking.

Make sense?

The switch in thinking here that leads to an error is when you stop focusing from your position of power, and start the people-pleasing that turns women off.

It is a form of approval seeking to reassure a woman that you're "not a player."

However, you do have a legitimate concern that this may come up as a concern of hers. It might. If you let her go too long without the playful interaction that drives up her sexual tension, she's going to have a rest period where she will start to second-guess herself. She'll want some doubts calmed.

But you should NOT address this directly with words. Only with actions.

Here's a rule to live by in dating and seduction: Women will give you what you want when you give them enough of what THEY want.

You're absolutely right: Women DO need to feel UNIQUE. They must feel that you are addressing their personal uniqueness before they will go further with you. If they sense that you are treating them as an object - or just plain COMMON - they will back off and disappear.

How do you make them feel unique?

1) Focus your attention on THEM. Not on the waitress' 38DD rack. Not on the booty of that cutie. Not on anything but HER. (Also, don't turn your Manson-lamps on and give her a freaky psycho stare.) Make it clear that SHE is important enough to warrant your focus of attention.

2) Use her name. The most important word in the world to anyone is their own name. USE IT. It's commanding and personal, and it works wonders with women.

3) Express an interest in things that are particular to HER. Her family, her background, her interests. Just don't go crazy with your questioning. Lean back and find one topic she seems to be especially excited about, and then pounce on that one.

(I'm going to recommend a book here that most people have heard of but few
appreciate: Dale Carnegie's - HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE. It's old, but it's a must-read.)

Let me state the cardinal rule: To gain trust - BE TRUSTABLE. It starts with your integrity. Don't expect women to fall into bed with you if you're being devious. Start with your own character.

Just don't think that TELLING her will cure the problem. And don't assume it's there when it might not. (That's just a bit of natural insecurity. We don't want to give off that "player" vibe.")

Women want you to make them feel special, and if you do that right - with sincerity, she'll never question whether or not you are trying to play her. Start with a sincere interest in other people, and you will have no problem making her feel like opening up to you.

Which leads me to this: You know that women are getting more and more picky about men, and they can sniff out inferior guys with just a whiff of your confidence.

And to stand out you MUST have the edge on the other guys out there. You need to be a REAL MAN, not this sissie-fied cartoon man that the media sells you.

You've heard me say this before: Getting laid is not about getting "lucky."

It's about having the right knowledge and understanding up front. Women are actually WAITING for men to date and sleep with, if you'll just give them the right reasons WHY they should be with YOU. It's deliberate and on-purpose, not subject to the whims of chance and fate.

BE the kind of man they are waiting for. That's all they ask of you.

I've worked for years to break down what it is that women are trying to tell you with their behavior, and finding out the hard way why being a "nice guy" is dooming you to failure.

click here The Dating Black Book is for the guy who wants the whole dating scene explained, and all the inner-workings of the social dynamics involving his interactions with women.
It's available here



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