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How Do You Feel About Workplace Romances?

Carlos Xuma Says... Should you date at work? Pick-up advice for men by Carlos Xuma based on 'The Dating Black Book'

Do you know about the RULES for women? Do you want to know how to counter her tests and games? Do you know where to touch women to give them the chills and turn them on to you?

Continue reading and you will.


I would like to say that your advice is great. I have recently purchased your Supreme Self Confidence e-zine and am currently working on implementing the concepts. I do approach more women now and it feels great.

How do you feel about work place romances? I am a service tech and have the privilege to visit many grocery stores, with lots of single young girl cashiers as well as customers. I am finding it difficult one to gather the courage to approach, thus the e-zine and even when i do the employees want to label me a horn dog. Not to mention the unseen females that may be interested that don't show interest because the other females tell them I approach customers and the young attractive cashiers.

I feel that I am fortunate, as I have 10 stores that I visit but not able to spin this situation to work in my benefit. The attractive women do like me but I am afraid that they consider me a friend, or a good surprise to the boring day. When I arrive all eyes are on me, sometimes I find myself surrounded by 6 women. Some of the hating cashier say things like, "I know why you to come here." I usually say something like, "Yes it's you beautiful women that keep me coming back!" I am not afraid to flirt and usesexual overtones. When my company dispatches me for nonsense they always say, "We feel bad about calling you out here for nothing but at least we got to see you today." or "X girl was missing you so we called you in to see her." None of them i can seem to get back to my place. These responses are the same at all the stores, regardless to any female manager or cashier.

Just my silly luck or lack of knowledge, the older unattractive ladies are always approaching and trying to make dates with me. Of course I am not interested. Any ideas on how to let someone down softly without seeming like a bastard?

Any suggestions on how exactly to spin the fantastic opportunity would be greatly appreciated. Yes, I plan to purchase your e book within the next couple of weeks.


Ah, yes, the old workplace. Dipping your pen in the company ink. Fishing off the company pier. However you want to look at it. You've got some great opportunities here. I had a similar situation when I lived in the Midwest. I used to travel from bank to bank, doing installations of computer systems. That led to quite a few ... uhm ... female bonding situations. Ahem.

It sounds to me like you're doing a lot right, but you're not quite sure how to take what you've been getting as far as attention and turning it into real results. Let's work this by the numbers:

You're doing some great things: Letting all the women flirt with you, letting them see you interacting with other women, etc. However, what may be occurring is that you are giving off the vibe of an eligible guy, but they are smelling too much "Player" on you. TOO MUCH flirt and not enough taking it to the next step.

Time to turn up the heat a few notches. Some of the factors that are most important in converting a girl you've met into a possible dating prospect is that you need to be working along the Dating Continuum at every step of the way. (Yes, that's in my e-book.) You start with a look, but you don't stop there. You move on to the approach and the phone number. But you don't stop there, you move on to the first meeting. But you don't stop there ....

You get the point. It's a constant, persistent motion forwards, alternating with a few steps back along the way so you don't run over her.

Here's a quick plan for you:
1) Be more discreet. Don't advertise your advances so much. Women need to feel like they're special - unique - or they won't respond to you. That's why you've been getting that treatment. They think you're after ALL of them, not just ONE of them. Choose a few select prospects and focus on them. Find that courage to get their phone number and take it to the next step in the process. Don't try to juggle twenty from each store at the same safe level of interest. Choose ONE from each store and start there. You'll reduce the overlap.

2) Turn up that heat. Start being more aggressive with your tease-to-please approach. You've got a bunch of friend wannabes because you aren't pursuing the next steps. They're not going to do this work for you.

3) Stop playing it safe. Don't be afraid of messing one up. Women are like candles; you need to light the wick and let her burn. When she's done burning, or if she won't light, you toss her aside and holler "NEXT!" Go through each potential female as if she were the only one. You have to be willing to break a few eggs to make an omelet.

The best way to let those other ladies you're not interested in off the hook is to give them a little generous flattery that let's them know you're not going there with them right now, but gives them a self-esteem boost in the process. You also need to be careful not to slam the door on them, because attention - even from the older gals - is always desirable. Don't worry about stringing them along. They'll figure it out on their own.

Tell Abigail, or whatever the name of the blue-haired woman in produce is,
this: "Wow, I'm really flattered by your offer. I'm just a little intimidated by attractive women, and a little shy. I'm not looking for a serious romance right now, though. I just didn't want you to think it's personal. I can't believe you're not already taken."

Something else I recommend: There's nothing wrong with an occasional seduction of a woman you're not entirely interested in to boost your ego and self-confidence. Remember what I said on page 4 (the bold section) of the e-zine. Read that section again. I think it's very applicable to you here.

And damn straight you need to get the e-book, right away...! I address how to pull the women in your life along the continuum and get her attraction mechanism fully engaged for you.

click here The Dating Black Book is for the guy who wants the whole dating scene explained, and all the inner-workings of the social dynamics involving his interactions with women.
It's available here



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