Category # 3: Acting
Aloof And Disinterested And Letting Her Pursue You…
More than a few people have accused me of endorsing this category.
There only half right. As you read on, you’ll get what I mean.
One of the morals in the movie Swingers is: You need to wait seven
days before calling a girl’s number – you wouldn’t want to look
needy or desperate. They give a pretty funny example illustrating
the consequences of breaking this moral when the protagonist, a
lovable-loser named “Mike” calls a woman he has only known for a few
hours seven times in a row, redounding in her telling him to never
call her again (If you haven’t seen the movie, do so. It’s a must).
This moral has become intrinsic to the zeitgeist of the modern
dating advice and self-help for men world.
The moral is right in
theory but wrong in practice. With beautiful women in the Real
World, NOT acting proactive will lead to many lonely nights. To
smack you upside the head with this, waiting for women to call you
is a hopeless strategy. Unless you’ve gotten a woman on the hook,
waiting for her to call is not making her chase you, it is passively
wishing for her to pursue you.
I am NOT touting you to chase, pursue, and try to win women over,
either.
Proactive Prizing:
Actively Creating A Space For Her To Chase You...
In my book I talk about Prizing – the art of making a woman chase
you. You can only Prize women, however, within certain contexts. And
MOST of the time, you need to proactively create these contexts.
Passively waiting for these contexts is a losing battle.
This especially applies to Prizing women over the phone. If you
DON’T call a woman or if you passively wait for her to call you, you
aren’t proactively creating the context to Prize her. It isn’t her
responsibility to chase you; it’s your responsibility to make her
chase you. Don’t be passive. Take the initiative. Be Proactive.
Will some women think you are chasing them? Yes, but who cares! You
can undermine this by, for example, telling her: “You aren’t my type
and I want to let you know that I’d never go for you, though I do
find you amusing to talk to.” This is a form of what in my book I
call “Push-Pull.” If you’ve been studying my book, you probably have
already realized why doing something like this will quickly and
effectively get a woman chasing you.
I remember the days when I’d passively wait for a woman to call me.
Looking back, I now realize the heaps of success I missed out on,
all because I didn’t yet understand the concept of proactive
Prizing.
The better you get at
this the more you’ll find women asking you out on dates over the
phone – it’s almost scary how much this happens to me. Don’t
passively, however, wait for a woman to ask you out on a date. It is
up to you to get her from the phone to a physical location (Maybe
I’ll do a whole newsletter addressing this topic). Will some women
perceive this as you chasing them? Yes but, as I said before, you
can undermine this later. Let me give you an example. A few years
ago, I was talking over the phone with a woman who mentioned an
affinity for art. I invited her to an art exhibit. She responded
with, “Are you trying to ask me out on a date?!” I chuckled and
Prized back with, “No…my grandmother’s coming too. I know the
elderly don’t leave the house much so I thought I’d do my good deed
for the year by getting you two girls out for some fresh air. Oh,
just to let you know, I don’t tolerate funny smells. So be sure to
wear your adult diaper.” She laughed and, then, told me I was a
wicked bastard. But she showed up at the museum, claiming to be
wearing her adult diaper. Luckily, her diaper ended up being
G-string underwear.
You don’t always have
to undermine your intentions when asking a girl out but it usually
can’t hurt, plus it takes the pressure off her thinking it is some
big date.
Sometimes, no matter what you say, women end up flaking. I’ve met
tons of guys who are amazing with women. Yet even they have
experienced women flaking on them. Any guy who tells you he never
has women flake on him is lying – point blank. The reasons for women
flaking are too numerous to list in this newsletter. Many of these
reasons are probably different from ones you’ve thought of. Some
attractive women, for example, will flake on guys out insecurity,
fearing that he’ll discover their flaws, making him less attracted
to them. For your sake, however, it is not important to analyze and
address the reasons why women flake. If they flake, brush it off,
keep proactively Prizing them, and then ask them out again.
As long as you follow
my guidelines – even if you’re still super nervous while talking to
girls on the phone – you’ll be a hundred times better off. And if
you haven’t already picked up a copy of my book, do so. I give you
step-by-step instruction on how to establish yourself as the PRIZE
and get any woman chasing you, allowing you to achieve the mastery
and success with women you deserve. And this is only scratching the
surface of what I’m going to teach you. Stop allowing opportunities
to pass you by. Let me show you step-by-step how to generate massive
attraction with women.
**********************************************
Swinggcat responds to your emails:
Comment:
Dear Swinggcat,
I wanted to compliment you on your e-letters. I subscribe to a few
of the dating e-letters that are out there, and I think you have
some of the best "real-life" advice to give. I think many of the
other sites are beneficial in meeting a girl and maybe getting laid.
But yours is probably the best for developing a relationship.
Your comments on being friends with women is the perfect example of
this. Some of the other sites seem to totally neglect this. Female
friends are a major help in attracting women. When I've gone out
with a mixed group of friends (women and men), the level of
attraction from women is so much higher than when I'm just with my
guy friends. My female friends have also given some good advice when
it comes to attraction.
For most of us out there looking to improve ourselves in this
aspect, finding and keeping a great women is our ultimate goal. For
a 30-something year old, like myself, I don't just want to find some
random girl to have sex. I want a relationship, and your advice
definitely helps with that.
Keep up the good work!
MA, Middletown, NJ
My Comments:
Thank you for this! Most dating experts fall into one of two
categories: Either they are relationship experts or pick up gurus. I
don’t think I fit into either category. My approach is more
holistic. I believe that many of the skills typically associated
with picking up women are essential to having successful
relationships. And, likewise, many of the skills usually associated
with having healthy successful relationships are essential to
meeting and picking up on women. Once again, thank you.
Question:
Hey Swinggcat,
Your letters are very good stuff! Congratulations, man.
I enjoy them enormously.
I have a question for you though: how can I establish
PRIZABILITY with a woman without saying a word? Only
by looking at each other, without a word?
G. from Sydney, Australia
My Comments:
Ah yes…A truly lazy man. Love it! For those who DON’T know,
PRIZABILITY is establishing yourself as the PRIZE when interacting
with women. Just like proactive Prizing is important, you need to
PROACTIVELY establish yourself as the Prize. Using your eyes,
however, will suffice. One thing that will help enormously is really
developing your belief that you are the Prize (Also, reread my
article, Demystifying Charisma. I break down step-by-step how to
develop a strong intent. This should help).
As for what you should do with your eyes, you’ll have to wait for my
audio course.
Comment:
I think actually what I said before about how you can always make
her think you are the PRIZE is wrong, or rather it applies only to
immature masochists. Or rather, the lower a woman's self-esteem and
maturity, the more likely it is to work. There is nothing anyone
could do to make a mature woman in excellent mental health "lose it"
and put out because he is "the PRIZE". He can make them think he’s
an attractive jerk, yes. But more attractive for a man than they are
for a woman, so they "have to" put out regardless of whether he has
given any indication that they might be special to him, no. But for
better or worse, immature masochists are the pool that pros deal
with, so practically speaking it does not matter much. The things
you say (and what I said) will definitely work with that crowd. What
that is worth, other than ego-gratification, is another question.
Best Wishes,
DLW
My Comments:
First off, there is still a gruesome stigma in our culture about
loose women. This forces many girls to put on the goody two shoes
façade. But it’s only pretense. It is actually quite astounding how
many women partake in “no strings attached” sex. There probably are
some women that stay true to, for example, no premarital sex…no if,
ands, or buts. This number, however, is most likely a lot lower than
what you’re thinking.
Furthermore, a woman partaking in “no strings attached” sex has
nothing to do with her being either a mature woman or, as you call
it, an immature masochist. All it reflects is her value and belief
system. Put simply, there are different strokes for different folks.
I don’t teach men to try to convince women that they are the Prize.
What I teach, instead, is how to establish yourself and genuinely be
the Prize with women. There’s a huge difference.
Most successful, confident, go-getter women go after what they want
– no strings attached sex included. If you establish yourself as the
Prize, they will most likely go after you – it’s only nature.
Being the Prize does not mean being a jerk. Being a jerk can be one
style of being the Prize. You can, however, be a genuinely nice,
standup guy, while still being the Prize.
Comment:
Dude, you rock. I've read a lot of this stuff, and I think yours is
by far the best. I especially like how you give lots of specific
examples of things to do, but it all boils to the underlying
principles of controlling the frame and pushing & pulling. I'll tell
you how cool you are some more once I'm sleeping with super-hot
women all the time, but first I have to get past this damnable fear
of doing a cold approach. Feeling inhibition about approaching
whoever I want to is not acceptable to me, and I've finally gotten
to the point where I can't take it any more and I'm ready to do
whatever it takes, and so now talking to women I don't know is a
full-time job, even to the exclusion of other hobbies. But it’s a
hell of a rush and it gets easier every time.
Peace,
L. from TX
My Comments:
Thanks for the praise. And keep approaching women. It will get
easier. I’m going to be releasing a product where I really crack the
code on getting rid of the fear of approaching women. It’s very
powerful and to my knowledge, I’m the first one to think of it. This
will help you immensely.
I’m glad you’re motivated. But don’t let picking up women consume
your life – balance is important. I, in fact, have found that my own
success is the highest when I have balance in my life.
Comment:
Hey man,
I just wanted to say again...you're ebook kicks sooo much ass. I
have a couple of friends who are very good at getting girls. Some
times I will compete with them over a girl because I think I'm a big
shot Pickup Artist that knows all of this stuff about girls. The
last time I did this I lost and I talked to the guy about what
happened. I analyzed it for a long time and asked him what he does
and kind of wrote it down. I was just looking at your ebook again
and guess what...they were just doing the stuff you talk about.
Mostly the push/pull. We're all good looking guys and my buddy that
I lost to will pull girls by giving eye contact and smiles and
asking them about themselves and pushing by putting his attention on
other things or teasing them. One thing I've noticed when doing
push/pull to the extremes...that is, going to far in the
directions...you can really make girls want to destroy you. I've had
this happen a couple of times when I've gotten girls interested in
me or had them believe I was very interested in them and then do
something like subtly suggest that I would not be interested in
having sex with them or telling them that I like one of their
friends. They usually go to large extents to make me look bad to as
many people as they can.
What new products are you coming out with?
J from Arizona
My Comments:
When I was trying to figure this stuff out, I, also, noticed guys
who were naturally good with women using push-pull. When you are
first learning push-pull, you can go overboard. Once, however, you
have mastered the skill you will find that you can never go too far
with it. The sky is the limit – really!
To answer your question about upcoming products: Yes, I am working
on a product that really is a paradigm shift in thinking about the
dating and attraction game.
Question:
hi
I am impressed by the way you think. You obviously have an awesome
level of "natural charisma" and confidence in you. Now doc, I have a
problem here. If you can just give me little bit of guidance, that
will feel great. I'll explain everything in brief and I'll go in
detail later. this girl we hooked up, went out for 2 months. The
mistake I did then was I really started kissing up to her. but when
it happened, it was like magic. she initially came to my room and @
that time i had no idea that I would ever end up with her.....but
magically ..I did... I could not go out with her officially as I'm
like one of the care takers in a hostel but I still did go out with
her
unofficially. People did suspect and heaps of boys (some of who like
her), disliked me. They really had her on(they were not sure) about
goin out with me but it was unofficial. Well she knows all the
tricks in da
book... I broke up with her 1.5 months ago. I talked to her last
time invited her over for drinks in my room but she turned me down
as she had a plane to catch. We somehow discussed the past and she
passed some rude comment that got me angry and I told her that I
never cared about anything including her. She told me that she is
with someone else, of what I'm not sure as I've never seen or heard
of anyone with her. She got really angry and hung up on me and said
do you know what you just said implies?!. we are hardly on talking
terms. 'd like to be with her if possible but if not...it's fine.
The problem
is we talked 2 weeks ago and she'd gone out for holidays. she's just
come back and I don't think I could start talking. anyhow, after a
week I went to her room to return something of hers and she just
showed that she doesn’t care ..I just told her that after having
gone out with her, I don't think it's right for me to be just
passing next to her and ignoring her. we've been a lot intimate
before. I said it's silly and also apologized about the behavior. I
explained to her that I was drunk but also told her that I thought
that she owed me an apology. she should have the courtesy and
respect to say good bye properly...not hang up on me.. Then she
replied.."but I did hang up on you" anyway, I left her room but most
of the conversation was almost without an eye contact as she was
doing something or the other like "studying" or cleaning up her
room*(pretending not to care).....now I
like her. want her...but dunno how to go about it.. Any suggestions?
M
My Comments:
I’m going to give a really detailed in depth response, so get ready.
Here it is: Move on!!!!! I’m guessing you don’t yet have my book.
Get it – immediately!
When you are coming from a place of weakness you try to hold onto
things that are over.
But when you have the skills to move through the world, turning
wishes into opportunities you can quickly and easily grab a hold of,
you can let go of the past. Let me ask you question: If every woman
on the planet desired you, would you have written me this email? I
have a hunch the answer’s “No!” Am I right? Look – I’ve been in
situations where I didn’t want to let go of a girl, because I didn’t
want to be alone, fearing I wouldn’t be able to find another girl. I
was coming from a place of weakness.
I no longer have this fear – because I have mastery over the
necessary skills to attract desirable women anywhere I go. I’m going
to teach you step-by-step how to develop these skills, empowering
you to attract any woman you desire, annihilating every last morsel
of fear you have about being alone. Click here to start mastering
these skills:
this website
If you do not yet have the clarity and understanding of the skills
needed to generate massive ATTRACTION in women, allowing you to
harbor the confidence and experience the success only a handful of
men have, pick up a copy of my book today:
this website
'Till next time,
Swinggcat
To learn more about my secret step-by-step
system for attracting women and receive your five day attracting women
email mini course visit
this website You can signup and receive part
one of the mini course within the next few minutes (All information is
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© Copyright 2006 Superior
Living Inc. All rights reserved. Swinggcat and
RealWorldSeduction are trademarks of Superior Living Inc.
P.S.-If you have a success story you would
like to share, or a question you would like to ask, or a comment you
would like to make, please email me at
swinggcat@realworldseduction.com
Include the fist initial of your first and last name. And include the
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