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Question:
Hi Swinggcat,
I just read your newsletter about having women in your life and it
really rang true to me. I think too many guys discard both the
usefulness and pleasure of having female friends. It's actually
something I've tried to maintain for myself, but I've had a problem
with it I'd hope you could help me with. See, one thing I noticed
during my college years was that there were two types of women:
1) The women I wanted to go out with but wanted to be friends with
me; and
2) The women I wanted as friends but didn't want anything to do with
me at all!
It was very strange.
There would be women I wanted to be just platonic with but they just
didn't want to hang around me. However, when I pursued a girl (and
didn't get her of course), she was more than happy to have me as a
"good friend."
Do you have any insight into that? I'd appreciate any tips you could
give me. By the way, your book is great.
- D from San Diego, CA
Swinggcat's response:
The directions I gave in my article,
Having Women In Your Life,
were to...
Make Five Female Friends Possessing The Characteristics Of The Type
Of Woman You'd Like To Attract!
A few words of caution: Making friends with a woman does not mean
figuratively shoving an estrogen suppository up your rear, making
you into one of her sympathetic girlfriends who eagerly await
hearing about her latest boy disaster tale. Be a man, not gimp.
Treat her no different than you'd treat one of your buddies.
Also, courting a woman you're only friends with - like, for example,
buying her flowers - is probably the quickest road to squelching
both the friendship and any attraction that is there. It is the
equivalent of Medieval-style torturing both your ego and penis, and
then having them shipped off to a euthanasia ward to be put to their
demise.
In her eyes you're acting incongruent with the conditions of the
relationship you accepted or set with her - you are friends, not a
married couple! But this doesn't mean you can't get sexual with her.
Later on I'm going to reveal exactly how to do this... So Keep
Reading!
Becoming friends with women you're attracted to is one of the best
investments you can make - even if you never get jiggy with them -
because...
1) You'll become comfortable around the type of women you'd like to
attract. When you're comfortable around women your chances of
attracting them are a lot higher.
2) You'll learn the subtleties and nuances of their psyche, giving
you the power to engage and attract these types of women with ease.
3) They'll introduce you to their attractive friends. If a woman is
your type, chances are, many of her friends are also your type.
Because you're friends with her, you'll have the opportunity to meet
and attract all of her friends - this is *multi-level* marketing at
its best!
To answer your question: I'd capitalize on women you fell short of
attracting by becoming friends with them. Not all of them. Just the
ones you find attractive, inside and out. And if any of them treat
you like a dilapidated gimp, shunt them through the "exit only" door
of your reality. You wouldn't keep up a friendship with a guy who
disrespected you, right?
I bet the girls you wanted a platonic friendship with weren't really
your type anyway. So don't emotionally beat yourself senseless over
this. Their loss, not yours.
Question:
What's up Swinggcat,
Hey,
I can not wait till your audios come out bro. Seriously, I want to
listen to them until it is fully engrained. Can you give us a hint
about when they might be for sale? Out of the many I've checked out,
you are the very best!
Question: I'm starting to learn how to generate attraction inside of
women and it's very exciting, but it's more difficult doing it when
you're on a mission by yourself. I don't really have many male
friends so I usually go out alone, which puts out a different energy
vibe when you open the set.
You said you used to befriend men with game in bars. (Were there
times when you went out just by yourself? What's the mindset?) I
need advice on making friends with successful 'high status' guys.
Sounds retarded but I think you can feel me. Reading "How to Win
Friend and Influence People" helps, but not really, in this
paradoxical 'real world'. Any books or audios you recommend. Maybe
you should create systems of 'how to make friends with anyone.' Then
you would be the ultimate. Please help in the best way you know.
Thanks.
- A from Washington
Swinggcat
Responds:
I'm going to share a story with you. A few years back, I was out at
a nightclub with a friend of mine. Alas, he got violently ill and
decided to go home. I had a few drinks in me and wasn't in the mood
to risk getting a DUI.
I was left with these two options: Either I could sit in my car and
give myself a hypno lap dance until I sobered up or I could go back
into the night club. I spent a few minutes brooding over how all of
the women at the bar would look at me as if I had the words "I'm a
loser because I'm alone!" written in permanent red marker across my
forehead.
Then, out of nowhere, I snapped and made the decision to go into the
bar. Maybe it was the alcohol talking. Maybe it was because there
was a full moon out. I dunno?
I entered the bar and like a battering ram I charged headlong into
the first group of girls in sight. I ended up really hitting it off
with one of them. I was digging her and she was digging me. I could
just feel the sexual attraction between the both of us. As I was
holding onto her hands, I looked into her eyes and pulled her
closely into me as if I was about to kiss her. I could tell she
wanted to kiss me. Instead of kissing her, I said: "You are such an
awesome girl that I wouldn't want to ruin our friendship by hooking
up." She looked a little disappointed but acquiesced to "being only
friends." For the rest of the night I made her my wingman, helping
me get several phone numbers of other women. But here's the kicker:
I still ended up sleeping with her that night. In a bit, I'll reveal
to you how I was able to TURN A FRIEND INTO A LOVER. So keep
reading.
I had a great time and have been out alone dozens and dozens of
times since. Going out alone has given me some interesting insights:
1) Having the skill to go out alone communicates to your unconscious
mind that your success with women and people is not dependent on
others. You'll unknowingly give off to women an air of confidence,
charisma, and power.
2) Women see guys as losers who feel like losers for being out
alone. If you communicate to women that being out alone doesn't
bother you in the slightest, they WILL NOT JUDGE YOU AS A LOSER.
3) Going out by yourself is a surefire way to increase your success
with women because...
It Forces You To Interact With Lots Of Them!
Women make much better wingmen than guys. So, if I were you, I'd
focus more on befriending girls you can use as wingmen to help you
meet and attract other women. Most women could care less if you're
with another guy. Of course, there are exceptions - like if she's a
swinger looking to have a ménage à trois with you and your buddy.
However - and I don't know if this is biological hardwiring or
cultural conditioning...
Women Feel Attraction Toward Men In The Company Of Other Women!
Does this mean that if a woman sees you with other women she'll
indubitably FEEL attraction toward you? No - but she's more likely
to!
It is useful, though, to model the behaviors of guys who are
successful with women. The best way to model a person is to start
hanging out with them. So here's my quick course on befriending guys
who are successful with women.
Let me tell you another quick story. A little over a year ago there
was a guy who tried to befriend me with the intentions of modeling
me so he could improve his skills with women. For several months I
blew him off because he came across a bit too eager and needy. As I
saw it, he was asking for a lot from me yet had nothing to give back
in exchange.
About a year later, we bumped into each other at a bar. This time he
took a different approach. He immediately bought me a drink. He
asked me lots of questions. I had no problem answering all of them
because...
He Showed Me That He Was Genuinely Grateful That I Had Taken The
Time To Help Him Out!
Put in other words, he acted like a cool guy and demonstrated that
he was genuinely appreciative about the opportunity to learn some
life changing skills. After this he bought me dinner a few times.
Now we're friends and if he wants advice on something I'll give it
to him regardless of him buying me dinner.
Follow this advice and good things will come.
Question:
Hello Swinggcat,
So far your book is awesome stuff!!
Here is my Q: Some of my friends have female FRIENDS (and I mean
like close friends they share concerns with etc) whom they sometimes
hook up with. One friend for example, has an ex who hooks up with
him sometimes. These people are somehow able to keep good friendship
with the girls, they talk to them often but they still have them
wanting to have sex. I thought that if one is friends with a girl,
it means you're like her fem buddies and no booty for you? How can
one be friends with chicks without having them "put a skirt" on you
and feel no attraction? Are there some special prizability rules for
that?
Thanks for your time.
Yours,
- A from NYC, NY.
Swinggcat Responds:
I've never heard the term "fem buddy" before. LOL! Love it! I'll
have to use this.
Many a man has felt attraction toward a girl but didn't know how to
proceed because it had already been established that they were "just
friends." As she was yapping away, he stared at her vacantly,
feeling sponge-brained as he hemmed and hawed over how to make the
first move.
Sounds like you've been in a similar plight, yes? I dunno? I've been
there truckloads of times. Several years ago, however, I discovered
a secret largely unknown by most men...
Irrevocably Changing My Perspective On "Just Being Friends" With
Women!
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