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What Do I Say After She Turns Me Down?

Success Coach - Doc LoveDoc Love - Success Coach For Men

Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"

This article: "You didn’t beg like a Teddy Bear Guy when you asked and you didn’t act pissed off like an out-of-control Macho Boy when she turned you down. So you get an “A” from the Doc on this one."

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Hey Doc,
I work out in a gym that is loaded with hot chicks. I let them eye me first and I don’t stare at them. Of course I learned this technique from you. I notice other guys trying to get close to them by saying dumb things, but I keep my mouth shut.

There’s a drop dead gorgeous woman I see a there a lot who is married, and I kid with her. I let her know from the beginning that I was not coming on with her, so she feels real comfortable with me and we talk frequently.

The fun thing is that I notice the other women in the place stare when I make her laugh. (Like you say Doc, keep ‘em laughin’.) I know that some of them have become curious about me. You can almost hear what they’re thinking: “Hmm, what’s the story with that guy? That woman who seems to be so charmed by him sure is beautiful.”

In fact, there’s this other fox there named Kristen who had initiated a conversation with me after she saw me making the married gal laugh. I wasn’t sure if she was just being friendly or if she had any romantic interest in me. So, as you recommend, when the timing was right I ‘closed’ her to find out where I stood with her. Here’s how it went down:

Me [Smiling]: "So, Kristen, What's your home phone number?"

Kristen: "Why?"

Me.” [Smiling, turning to leave] "It's been a pleasure talking to you Kristen. See you next time.” (I knew from what you’ve taught me that when a girl gives me an answer like that instead of her phone number that I’ve already gone down in flames.)

Kristen: "I can't date you because I have a boyfriend. But, like, we could hang out. I don't have a lot of friends..."

I just didn't know how to respond to that. But I’d like to have a great comeback for when and if a girl says something like that to me again. I feel like maybe I blew it somehow. If I’d had a better comeback maybe I’d have gotten her number. So, Doc, any hints or tips about this particular scenario would be greatly appreciated.
Chad - who wants to know what he, should have said back to her

Hey Chad,
First of all, realize that the most important thing is not whether you got her home phone number or not. The most important thing is that you ASKED for it. As they say in sales, you ‘asked for the order’. That’s what counts. So many guys just don’t have the sense of commitment or the courage to ask a girl point blank for her home phone number.

But you did it, Chad, and you did it in a calm, confident, self-assured manner. You didn’t beg like a Teddy Bear Guy when you asked and you didn’t act pissed off like an out - of - control Macho Boy when she turned you down. So you get an “A” from the Doc on this one. Congrats!

Also realize that once a woman makes it clear that she has no romantic interest in you by giving you some kind of smoke-screen-type answer, then there’s essentially nothing you can do in that instant to suddenly raise her Interest Level. As my cousin Fast “Eddie” Love would say, “If her feelings are below the 50 yard line, you’re outta' there!”

But, Chad, in a situation like that, you CAN confidently throw in a clever zinger that will raise her level of RESPECT for you when she does her - “saying ‘NO’ without really saying ‘NO’ routine.” To you Psych majors, you’ve got to go out smokin’.

When you asked her for her phone number and she said “Why?” you could have said, “Because I want to show you all the fun that you’ve been missing out on.”

When she said, “I can’t date you because I have a boyfriend” you could have said, with a twinkle in your eye, “What if I send him on an all-expenses-paid vacation to Miami Beach for two weeks? Will you go out with me then?” Or, “You know you dominate him, and you’re bored, so why are you still with him?”

When she said, “But, like, we could hang out, I don’t have a lot of friends,” you could have said, “As soon as you get rid of your boyfriend I’ll be happy to be your friend.” Or, “Why is it that people don’t want to get close to you?” That one would be guaranteed to twist her head around.

But, Chad, I don’t want you to be obsessing on what you could have or should have done. You did great because, as I said, you asked for the order. Just keep studying and practicing. And keep closing when you know that the timing is right.

Remember, guys, without respect from a woman you have nothing.

© Copyright DocLove DotCom, Inc
Featured Relationship Success Coach at aLoveLinksPlus
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"
WOMEN DON'T LIE - MEN DON'T LISTEN
Success Coach - Doc Love

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