Doc
Love - Success Coach For Men
Women Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen
Doc Love's Books:
Hey Doc,
I need your advice on a problem.
Shannon has been my girlfriend now for almost a year and a half and
I never cheated on her. Well, about two months ago I started going
regularly to a bar in my neighborhood. The bartender, Gina, was very
attractive and I couldn’t help but look at her. One of my friends (a
woman) knows her and introduced us. One night we all went out after
she got through bartending and Gina and I got close. At the end of
the night I went for a kiss goodnight. For the next few weeks Gina
and I went out once or twice a week. I let her know I had a
girlfriend, and she said it didn’t matter. I asked if she had a
boyfriend, and she said they just broke up.
Well, during the second week, Gina and I got very romantic. That
night she must have given me a hundred compliments. She kept saying
that I was the perfect man. One of my friends from work told me that
he thought Gina was still seeing her boyfriend, and I confronted
her. I let her know that I didn’t care if she was seeing someone,
but that I wanted her to be honest with me. She stuck with her story
that it was over between her and her ex. We then made plans to get
together again.
The night of our date I called her to confirm. Hours went by and she
didn’t call back. I called again and told her that I didn’t want to
play games, and she finally sent me a text message that said “I’m at
the hospital with my dad.” I wrote back and said “And you couldn’t
have called to let me know that?” And she responded “Not to be mean,
but that was the last thing on my mind.” She let me know she was
angry with me. I told her I wasn’t trying to be ignorant, but when I
make plans with someone and she can’t even let me know about an
emergency, then it’s disrespectful, and I won’t take disrespect from
anyone.
Doc, I know that I’m cheating, but Gina is a 9.5. She gets hit on
constantly. She’s used to getting what she wants, and I didn’t want
to play that game. Do you think she’s lying about seeing her ex?
Finally, do you think I did the right thing with Gina or did I make
too many mistakes? Is there anything I can do from this point on or
should I just let her go?
North - who doesn’t know what he’s doing
Hi North,
It’s amazing how guys will contact me when they have a problem with
a babe, but they won’t contact me when everything is going well.
Very few guys that I sell – probably only about 5% -- say that they
want to make sure they’re doing all the right stuff, and that’s why
they got the Dating Dictionary. They’re not out to snag the girl –
because they already have a great one, and she’s all over him – but
just to make sure they keep her happy, just to have that slight edge
going forward, they buy my book. Like my Uncle Jethro Love says,
“Which side of the fence are you on, boy?”
As far as hanging around your neighborhood gin mill goes, pal,
you’re allowed to do something like that once. Just once. You spot a
girl like Gina, she happens to look like Angelina Jolie’s younger
sister, and all of a sudden you’re in trouble. All you’re going to
do is go back there and look at her some more when you already have
a great girlfriend. That was your first mistake. Let me tell you
something: if you go back to that joint a second time when you’re so
physically attracted to the bartender, you’re cheating on Shannon.
(See, girls? I’m not so bad after all!)
Mistake number two was actually going out with Gina. First you’re
ogling her, next you’re dating her. Didn’t it matter that you
already had a girlfriend? Apparently not. And apparently it didn’t
bother Gina at all. Hey, I have to hand it to you, North -- she’s a
classy broad. Like my cousin Brother Love down in Watts says, “I see
she’s got high standards straight out of the chute!” And by the way,
you should have found out why she got rid of her boyfriend.
This red-hot bartender may have given you thousands of compliments,
but your girlfriend’s got 18 months in with you. Gina doesn’t even
have 18 hours in with you.
Now why the heck are you talking to a friend at your job about this
total knockout? Don’t you know what a BLOCKER is, dude? You better
go back to my book and look under “B.” Know what? Your friend was
just trying to make a fool out of you. He was pushing you to go and
get into an argument with Gina over nothing. Which is exactly what
he succeeded in doing.
Of course you care if Gina’s seeing someone else – you brought it
up, didn’t you? If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t have made an issue
of it in the first place, so who the heck are you kidding? It’s like
when a woman says “I don’t care if a guy has money or not.” Then
why’d she mention it? Duh!
You want Gina to be “honest” with you? She doesn’t care if she
steals a guy with a long-term steady girlfriend and you’re worried
about honesty? That’s like trying to turn a tiger into a housecat or
asking Hugh Hefner to stay away from 19-year-olds. You’re a funny
guy, North.
Now, when this
hospital situation came up, you had to take it for what it was. Gina
wasn’t exactly at the post office trying to buy stamps to make sure
her business correspondence got out and she got held up because
there were 30 people in line that day. The point is this: she told
you that her dear old dad was in the hospital. Her story is either
true or it’s false, but we’re going to give her the benefit of the
doubt. So let’s say it’s true. If her father was in the hospital
having an emergency appendectomy, she didn’t have to call you. So
you’re completely off base on this. Gina should be angry with you
for being an insensitive boor.
Ah, but you won’t take disrespect. Does there have to be a riot in
the city before you’ll let someone off the hook? What does it take
to convince you there’s a genuine problem? A tornado? An earthquake?
Get real here, North. And dude, LOVE IS A GAME. Get that straight
right now.
I don’t think Gina’s lying about not seeing her ex. I’ll bet she’s
already got at least two new ducks lined up for when she gets tired
of you (which shouldn’t be long now). This girl doesn’t fool around.
Like my cousin Sal “The Fish” Love says, “Hey, man -- you forget
where this girl works!”
But we should be crying
in our beer over poor Shannon – not you and Gina. Because the poor
girl’s Interest Level is high, and you’re going to dump her. Or
you’re going to get caught fooling around.
You better tell your girlfriend Shannon to move on, guy. Do her a
favor. To you Psych majors, unless you’re going to be loyal to a
girl, don’t go steady with her.
You’re going to let Gina go? North, it’s not your dear old daddy
who’s in the hospital! You got no say in the matter. Like my cousin
Fast Eddie Love says, “When she looks like Scarlett Johansson, you
don’t stand a chance!”
So here’s what you’re going to do. You’re going to buy a card and
write; “I hope your dad feels better” on the right-hand side. And on
the left-hand side you’re going to add, “I was completely out of
line when I got on your case for not calling me. And I hope your dad
feels better. When you feel up to it, give me a call and we’ll get
together.” And you’re going to send it to Gina.
But you’ve got to get rid of Shannon before you escalate this thing
with your “10” bartender. And you have to do a little studying.
Let’s face it, buddy, you’re making blunders all over the place.
You’re calling to verify dates. You’re blabbing to blockers. I don’t
think so, guy. You’ve got a long way to go to hold onto either of
these women.
Remember, guys: when you have a good one, don’t mess around.
© Copyright 2006 DocLove DotCom, Inc
Featured Relationship Success Coach at aLoveLinksPlus
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"
WOMEN DON'T LIE - MEN DON'T LISTEN
Success Coach - Doc Love
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Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"
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