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Never Try To Win Back A Girl That Dumped You

Success Coach - Doc LoveDoc Love - Success Coach For Men

Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"

This article: "Never grovel for a woman, unless she has a gun to your head."

Hey Doc,
After being in a committed relationship with my girlfriend for over a year and a half, about three weeks ago she told me she thought “we should take some time off from each other.” I have to confess that I was absolutely dumb struck when she came up with that. It seemed like things were pretty good with us. I mean we had our arguments and stuff but we always seemed to work through any big problems.

I tried to find out why she wanted to do that, but I couldn’t get her to be specific in any way. She just said that she felt like she’s “grown” a lot and that I haven’t. I told her that whatever way she felt like I should grow that I could learn and change. But she said it was “too late” for that.

I know this is sounding like the standard clichés right out of a B movie, but this is really the conversation that we had. When I asked her how much time she thought we should take off, she said that she wasn’t sure.

Well it didn’t take me long to figure out that “time off” really meant the end. I found out from a mutual friend that she’s already been dating some other guy, a bartender, and that they’ve already been intimate!

I hate to admit it but I am still hopelessly in love with her and I would do anything to get her back. The thought of going back into the singles scene is totally depressing to me.

My friend just turned me on to your articles and told me that you have a “System” for success with women that really works. He says that you have all the answers, so my questions are why did she leave and what should I do to get her back?
Dante, who hopes there’s a way

Hi Dante,
Since you’re obviously a new reader, I’m going to give you some basic info about Interest Level. When you and your former girlfriend first started going steady, she had a high level of romantic interest towards you. She had strong loving feelings for you.

But, at some point, probably about six to eight months or so into the relationship, her Interest Level in you reached its peak and then began to slowly erode. Over the ensuing months it finally sank so low that she wanted to be with Mr. Gin and Tonic instead of you.

Now this is important, Dante. I want you to understand that her Interest Level didn’t drop from 90% or higher to almost nothing in one day, although it seemed that way to you. Just about all men who get dumped by a woman think that the woman’s Interest Level died overnight, but the Reality Factor says that it takes time for a woman who’s in love to fall out of love.

You were “dumbstruck” when she dumped you, Dante, because you failed to pick up on the signs and clues she was giving you as her Interest Level was diminishing. You didn’t really think much about it, but she began to be less affectionate, a little less passionate, a bit more argumentative, more distracted. These are the kinds of things that I call “red flags,” and, Dante, it sounds to me as if you missed a ton of them.

Maybe in YOUR mind, Dante, you two always worked through any big problems, but in your ex’s mind, she kept adding up the penalty points. Of course she never informed you of that. Although she was exhibiting symptoms of low-interestitis, she was still concealing her true feelings from you. (You’ll never hear a woman say, “Honey, I think you should know that my romantic Interest Level is starting to slide so could you please do what you used to do that was keeping it so high?”)

Also, Dante, I need to inform you that when you told her that you could “grow and change,” you were groveling. Never grovel for a woman, unless she has a gun to your head.

So, Dante, why did she leave? She left because you did too many things over time to lower her Interest Level. What were those things? In order to answer that question I would have to have more information about your relationship. I need specifics rather than generalities like; “we argued.” To you Psych majors, you gotta be like a love cop on Law and Order.

But I CAN tell you that whatever you did to lower her Interest Level, it would fit into a couple basic categories. Either you stopped being a Challenge or you failed to give her affection, respect and romance. So please, start studying “The System” to learn how to be a Challenge on a consistent basis and how to keep a woman’s Interest Level high. If you do that you’ll never have to experience this kind of pain again.

Realize, Dante, that once a woman’s Interest Level sinks below the 50% mark, then it’s past the point of no return. You’ve got to face it dude, you’re out and that’s it! No Vegas bookmaker would give you a snowball’s chance in Hades for getting it back together with this gal who no longer wants your body or your heart.

It’s time to get back out there, however discouraged you may feel, and start getting phone numbers. And if you begin getting pangs of longing for your ex, just make a list of all the things about her that you didn’t like. Then keep reading it – like a hundred times a day.

Remember, guys, always be on the lookout for those red flags or “You’ll be sorry.”

© Copyright DocLove DotCom, Inc
Featured Relationship Success Coach at aLoveLinksPlus
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"
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