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 Doc
Love - Success Coach For Men
Women Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen
"Any girl who really likes you, who is romantically interested in
you, will be more than pleased to lay a big wet one on you by the end of
the first date."
Doc Love's Books:
Hi Doc,
My name is Jack. I'm 42 years old and I own a large luxury car
dealership. Even though I’ve been quite successful in my career, I’ve
experienced a lot of confusion with women for many years.
But since I started using your “System” in January, I’ve had three times
as many dates so far this year than I had for the entire year before.
I’ve learned how and when to ask a woman for her home phone number and I
know how to weed out the ones who give out their number but have no
intention of actually going out with me.
The problem I’m encountering now is that a lot of these women who do go
out with me, but ultimately won’t even kiss me, even though they keep
accepting dates with me. I’ve been following your rules about keeping
things light and keeping them laughing. I let the woman do all the
touching. I don’t tell her how much I like her and all that. I’m a total
gentleman and I also maintain a sense of mystery and Challenge just as
you say to do. I’ve come a long way.
But I am completely baffled by these girls. They touch me, they
compliment me, they tell me outright what a great time they have with me
and they talk about doing things together on more dates in the future.
But when I make my move for a simple nice kiss, and I usually wait until
the third or fourth date to go for it, they turn their head away, or
they give me a quick peck and then start talking or they just give me a
hug instead. Even after they refuse to kiss me, they still accept more
dates with me. But they never do let me kiss them, even when we spend
more time together. (I’ve been laboring under the assumption that a lot
of them are probably shy and just need more time, but now I’m starting
to believe that that’s not accurate at all.)
I will tell you that there is one new woman whom I’ve just started
dating who gave me a long, deep, wet kiss right off the bat on our first
date. Boy was that delightful and refreshing!
So what’s with all these other girls? Why are they spending so much time
with me if they don’t even want to kiss me? They know that I’m
romantically interested in them, or I wouldn’t be asking them out. So
then why do they keep accepting dates with me? Why do they let me pay
for everything and do all the planning and all the driving and
everything when they obviously have no interest in me? Is that right? Is
that fair? Do other guys go through this too? And how can I screen out
these phonies and strokers before I spend all this time and money on
them?
Jack - who is ticked off
Hi Jack,
You are not alone. Every day I receive much e-mail complaining of the
exact same thing that you’ve been experiencing. In fact, I’d have to say
that what we have in the current dating world is an epidemic of phony
female flirt-itis.
Every night, across America, tens of thousands of women are out on dates
with men whom they have absolutely no romantic interest in or physical
attraction to. These women are already 100% clear that they have no
intention of ever even exploring the possibility of a relationship with
the poor sap they’ve chosen as their target. Each one, all consumed with
her own narcissistic agenda, has no concern whatsoever that she is
misleading her victim, let alone possibly hurting his feelings. Toying
with a man’s emotions is a form of recreation for her.
If you’re a long time reader, you know that I call this type of woman:
The Professional Dater. And, yes Jack, the way she behaves isn’t right.
And it isn’t fair either, but it is a reality that all single guys must
learn to deal with, unless you are in a band.
So just what is The Professional Dater’s secret agenda? Let me to
clarify this for everyone. Her agenda is: To enjoy as many social,
recreational and culinary opportunities as she can, with no strings
attached, while she bides her time, looking for the ‘real’ Mr. Right. In
her self-centered universe, her inner dialogue goes something like this:
“While I’m attending that exclusive Grammy party with Mr. Chump, I just
might meet a celebrity.” Or, “while I’m dining at the nicest restaurant
in town with Mr. Loser, at least I’ll be able to enjoy another Lobster
dinner this week instead of having to stay home and watch re-runs of Sex
in the City while I eat reheated pasta with my cat. And besides,
attention from an undesirable male is better than no male attention at
all.”
The more beautiful the Professional Dater is, the higher her standards
will be. But there are thousands of women out there who would rate no
more than a 5 or a 6 but who are still full-on predatory Professional
Daters. They enjoy getting free dinners at Sizzler and a complimentary
movie ticket, courtesy of Mr. Clueless.
Well versed in the subtleties of manipulation, the Professional Dater
knows that her victim will not continue to lavish his attention and
generosity upon her if she doesn’t give him a sense of hope and
possibility. So, she’s a master at leading him on, without having to
even approach the first stages of intimacy. (For her, the idea of
actually even kissing her mark, ranges somewhere from between mildly
distasteful to outright repulsive.)
The
Professional Dater has trained herself to exhibit all the buying signals
of the woman with authentic high Interest level. She touches the guy a
lot. She tells him how special he is. She thanks him profusely for the
lovely evening she had. She even makes very subtle, ambiguous hints
about the possibility of furthering the relationship in the future.
So how do you screen out this viscous siren? How do avoid being played
like a Stradivarius? How do you call her bluff and flush out this
emotional vampire? Are you ready guys? Listen up! Here it is. The
antidote to this stroker’s spell:
In order to determine whether or not your potential relationship partner
is a Professional Dater, you must make sure that you do not end your
first date with her without going for a nice, sweet, long lingering
kiss. And if you get anything less from her, go home, rip up her phone
number and flush it down the toilet.
To some, this suggestion may sound too harsh, too inflexible. Let me
tell you guys: Any girl who really likes you, who is romantically
interested in you, will be more than pleased to lay a big wet one on you
by the end of the first date. Why wouldn’t she if she likes you? Even a
very shy girl who has high Interest Level will respond enthusiastically.
Only a woman with low Interest Level wouldn’t lip lock with you after a
three and a half-hour long first date. (And who would want to be with
her?)
To others, this suggestion may sound simplistic. Like basic common
sense. Well, that’s what it is. It’s a simple but profound way to
quickly determine where you stand and avoid more dates with the same
woman that will wind up going nowhere. Let’s say it another way. There’s
no such thing as a woman with high Interest Level who would penalize you
for going for a nice kiss at the end of the first date.
Jack, the bad news is that the reason that these women aren’t
responding, even though you’re doing everything right, is that they
never really liked you to begin with. But the good news is that you can
stop them in their tracks if you don’t wait until the third or fourth
date to make your move. Go for that kiss and bottom-line the woman’s
Interest Level by the end of the first date. And simply do not go out
again with any woman who fails to respond enthusiastically to your
overtures. Stick with the girl who gave you a great kiss on the first
date, and look for more like her if you need to.
Just remember guys, you never know if a girl might be a Professional
Dater or not, until you go for that Big Smooch!
© Copyright 2001-2008 DocLove DotCom, Inc
Featured Relationship Success Coach at aLoveLinksPlus
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"
WOMEN DON'T LIE - MEN DON'T LISTEN
Success Coach - Doc Love
Guys, e-mail me at
doclove@doclove.com
with your love challenges. All will be answered, but because of space, only letters of general interest will be printed. To find out more about The "System" visit me at:
www.doclove.com or (800) 404-2644.
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"
aLoveLinksPlus is pleased to feature Doc Love every
week with new articles to challenge your relationship preconceptions and
first aid with your troubles.
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Doc Love
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