Date
Dating Great! with advice by aLoveLinksPlus.com Find Us On Facebook Follow Us On Twitter

Is She Shy Or Is That Just An Excuse?

Success Coach - Doc LoveDoc Love - Success Coach For Men

Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"

This article: "If all women on earth stopped going out with guys that they have no or so-so interest in, and instead only accepted dates with guys whom they really liked, half the restaurants in America would fold."

Doc Love's Books:

Hey Doc,

I have been reading your articles and I am sorry to say that I find your replies contradictory, to say the least. As far as I can tell, you seem to think that the ideal woman is one who kisses a guy the moment she finds him attractive and then falls into bed with him instantaneously - girl who is obviously a bit of a slut (in your eyes).

And you also say that a girl who doesn’t respond in this way isn't worth it because she is obviously not interested. Ever crossed your mind that she might be a bit shy? Maybe even a little hurt by the last 'great guy' who trapped her into a relationship using a 'strategy' (oh, and then tossed her aside because she didn't quite fit into the rules)? Or perhaps she hasn't been dating for a while, so she might be unsure of how to go about these things.

I firmly believe in women taking control of their relationships, and I always offer to pay half the check on the first date. When I offer to pay the whole check, that makes a guy realize that there is no chance whatsoever. So what if Mr. Guy doesn't feel like the great hunter/protector when I pay my half. I'm not selling out anything for a crummy mid-evening dinner at a mediocre restaurant. If I want to kiss the guy I will. I am not being paid to do it. Your comment on how 'unromantic' it seems for a woman to pay half of the check is way off. How romantic, exactly, do you expect things to be on a first date?

First dates are not when the 'fun' begins. First dates are about two tigers circling each other trying to work things out, one of the most nerve-wracking things you can do in your life! I actually think that “The System” that you teach is just encouraging exploitive ideas on how to treat the 'fairer' sex. I also think that people will find that your advice and these 'ideals' are rather antiquated.

Yours in anticipation

Christy – who thinks you, are full of it

Hi Christy,

If you went on a first date for dinner, with a guy you were nuts about, you’d be delighted to have the 99-cent special with him at Taco Bell. The quality of the restaurant would be a non-issue. You’d be jazzed to just be spending time with him. You’d find it cute and charming to be dining on inexpensive Mexican food. And I guarantee that you wouldn’t be insisting on paying your fair share. Why not? Because you liked the guy! If all women on earth stopped going out with guys that they have no or so-so interest in, and instead only accepted dates with guys whom they really liked, half the restaurants in America would fold.

And Christy, you say that if you’re not interested in a fellow, then you pay for the entire dinner check. I do not believe you. I think you are fibbing. No woman in modern history has ever paid for the entire dinner bill on a first date – ever!

Now let’s get something else straight. Any time a woman says that she’s “shy” or that she’s “been hurt in the past” as a reason for why she doesn’t want to kiss a guy, 98% of the time she’s running a con job, just like you’re trying to do Christy. It’s a bunch of hooey. When she says, “I’m shy,” it’s Womanese for: I have no romantic interest in you!

The other 2% of women who use the “I’m shy - I’ve been hurt in the past” excuse, are incapable of giving a gentleman a nice kiss at the end of a first date because they are wounded and mistrustful. So when a guy goes for the kiss, he’s weeding out the ones who are uninterested AND also the ones who are emotionally unavailable. In this way, “The System” acts like a filter to protect a good man’s heart.

And what’s all this about my saying that certain women are sluts. I have never used that word. I challenge you to show me one sentence in any of my columns in which I even mentioned that a woman should go to bed with a guy before marriage. Christy, all I’ve been talking about is kissing. In fact, I’m the only love doctor who never talks about sex.

You also say that men trap women into relationships. Men don’t know how to trap. It’s women who have been trained in the art of trapping since they were adolescents. And “The System” has nothing to do with trapping anyone. I’m teaching men how to court a woman properly, for the highest good of all concerned.

A first date is like two tigers circling? Well, a guy and a gal who shouldn’t be going out with each other to begin with would probably feel like adversaries on a first date. But I think that a LAMB and a tiger would be a more apt description, and the woman wouldn’t be the lamb. There are just too many guys out there who get in over their heads, and they don’t even know it.

And what do you mean – a first date isn’t meant to be fun? The fun had better begin on the first date. If it doesn’t, why would a girl want go on a second date with a guy?

Christy, you believe in taking control in your relationships? What ever happened to the idea of sharing and caring, working things out, and balanced communication? Besides all of this, you think that my advice is outdated? “Have manners, class, keep your hands to yourself and be a good listener.” If you think that those principles are antiquated, well, call me a dinosaur.

Remember guys, don’t listen to what women say, instead, listen to me.


© Copyright DocLove DotCom, Inc
Featured Relationship Success Coach at aLoveLinksPlus
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"
WOMEN DON'T LIE - MEN DON'T LISTEN
Success Coach - Doc Love

Meet Singles Online Now

JOIN NOW
Match.com - View Photos of Singles Free

More Advice By Doc Love:

Free advice emailed to you every week. Join our newslstter!