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 Doc
Love - Success Coach For Men
Women Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen
"One of the biggest complaints about men that I hear over and over
and over again from women, is that men come on to them both verbally and
physically, too intensely too quickly."
Doc Love's Books:
Hey Doc,
I read over some of your advice and think you are doing your male
readers a big disservice. You tell men to 1. Let the woman say, "I love
you" first. 2. Make her wonder if you like her or not 3. Let the woman
do all the touching. 4. Act disinterested, etc., etc., etc.
This all sounds like "The Rules" to me, only the instructions are going
out to men instead of women. You are telling men to play the same kind
of games women are often told to play. If both sexes are being advised
to "Never be the first one to say I love you,” then who the heck is ever
going to say it?
I am currently in love with a wonderful guy. Thank goodness he broke all
of your rules. He told me he loved me after knowing me two weeks. He
says it often. He touches me all the time, buys me flowers, and looks at
me adoringly. I love him more than I've ever loved anyone and it's
because of all these things and more. (Oh yeah, he's also a nice guy!)
I think good communication and honesty is key to a healthy relationship.
There is no room for game playing. It seems to me that the type of women
who will be attracted to men who follow your advice are women who are
insecure and neurotic.
Connie - who’s mature enough to appreciate a loving guy
Hi Connie,
What are you looking for, someone to worship and adore you? Someone to
lavish you with gifts and compliments, or a confident man who doesn’t
need your approval, who can hold his own with you, a true partner? What
do you want a flash in the pan or a slowly building ember of true
intimacy? Remember that it’s the ones who come on heavy from the get go
who burn out quickly. (It sounds to me as if you’re more in love with
being romanced than with this guy who you don’t know very well.)
One of the biggest complaints about men that I hear over and over and
over again from women, is that men come on to them both verbally and
physically, too intensely too quickly. Men are impatient. Most men need
to learn to slow down, cool their jets, keep their mouths shut and wait
for the woman to demonstrate that she is truly interested before they
make any kind of important move.
So why in the world would we ever want to encourage men to push for
emotional intimacy as quickly as you recommend? Are you sure, Connie,
that it’s a good idea to be advocating that every guy who has a crush on
a girl after two weeks should immediately tell her he loves her as he
hands her a dozen roses?
I teach men to be patient and to slowly, but surely, build trust with a
woman. If a man tells a woman that he’s in love with her when he’s only
known her for only two weeks, how can she possibly trust him? He
probably does the same thing with all of his dates.
Any woman who isn’t insecure and neurotic would be and should be
extremely skeptical about such behavior. Besides, how can anyone know
enough about another person after two weeks to even know that they love
the other person? Women, if any guy tells you that he loves you after
you’ve known him only two weeks, head for the hills!
In all male-female relationships, it’s the woman who does the choosing,
not the man. The wise man knows that it’s not prudent to invest his
heart in a woman who has not chosen him. The relationship cannot proceed
without the prerequisite of female choice. It’s like standing in line
for three hours to get on a flight to Italy, without a passport. You can
go ahead and stand in the line, but without a passport you wasted your
time and you’re not going sightseeing in Rome.
If the man waits for the woman to say, “I love you” first, then he knows
that he’s being chosen by the woman. If HE says “I love you” first, even
if she says it back to him in response, he doesn’t know if she would
have ever initiated it without his prompting, and so he does not have
certainty about being chosen by her.
Let me ask you Connie, which would be more meaningful to you? A guy
telling you that he loves you on his third date with you or a guy
uttering those words only after trust and true intimacy has been built?
Remember, guys, keep your lips zipped.
© Copyright 2003-2008 DocLove DotCom, Inc
Featured Relationship Success Coach at aLoveLinksPlus
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"
WOMEN DON'T LIE - MEN DON'T LISTEN
Success Coach - Doc Love
Guys, e-mail me at
doclove@doclove.com
with your love challenges. All will be answered, but because of space, only letters of general interest will be printed. To find out more about The "System" visit me at:
www.doclove.com or (800) 404-2644.
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"
aLoveLinksPlus is pleased to feature Doc Love every
week with new articles to challenge your relationship preconceptions and
first aid with your troubles.
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