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Dear Doc,
I'm a 23-year-old college student who started seeing Michelle, a
co-ed, in April. The first time I went out with her was when she
invited me out to a bar on a week night. She did lots of touching and
wanted to take me home, but didn't. The second time we went out it was
for dinner. Afterwards she wanted me to meet some of her friends at
the bar and shoot some pool, which I did. (This date was during the
week, too.)
All went well and her friends seemed to like me. I shot pool at the
bar with her again, and we went back to her house and made out for an
hour, and then she started calling more often and invited me over to
watch a movie on a Monday night. After we finished the movie I was
going to kiss her goodbye and leave, but she invited me to stay for
another movie. (I ended up playing with her hair for half of it.)
She called me on Tuesday,
and we went to the bar to shoot pool again. Walking in, we ran into
one of her guy friends. He says to her, "Hey, sexy," and they talk for
a while and agree they should get together for a drink. I played it
cool and didn't even ask what his name was.
I called her the next day but got her voice mail and left no message.
That was at the end of May, and I didn't talk to her again until I
called her in July. She said she would call me, but she never did. Her
birthday was this past August 15th and I called her to wish her a
happy birthday. She was surprised that I remembered, and I figured
that won me some points.
We're both going back to school at the same time, and she said to me,
"Give me a call or something." So, should I call her like she said to
or wait to see her on campus and strike up a conversation? Also Doc,
what would you rate her Interest Level in me? It's hard to sort out
her mixed messages.
Thanks.
Garrett - who's curious to know
Hi Garrett,
You start off by telling me that Michelle's friends like you. Now, think
about it -- what does that really have to do with anything? All we care
about here is how much Michelle likes you, right? So why did you go back
to the bar just to bump into her friends again? Garrett, wake up! I'm
going to give you a solid piece of advice: you ought to stay away from
Michelle's friends. The only thing you need to do is sell yourself to a
girl - and you don't need other people to do that.
And here's another thing, Garrett. You shouldn't be going to the same
place over and over again with your date. Who is this girl, anyway --
the granddaughter of Minnesota Fats? And where is it written that you
have to go along with every suggestion she makes? What ever happened to
being a little bit of a Challenge?
When you date a girl, you should be making sure that she has a great
time. (The two of you shouldn't be just sitting around watching movies,
either. What can you really learn about her when you're both staring at
a screen?) Any activity where there's a high level of interplay does the
trick. Try bowling or miniature golf or the zoo. A woman with high
Interest Level will never object to inexpensive activities, because all
she really cares about is being with you.
Now, when you ran into that "guy friend" of hers, you stood by passively
while the two of them made a date right in front of your face. Garrett -
are you interested in being Michelle's "friend" or her boyfriend? What
you should have done instead with this guy friend was stick your hand
out and introduce yourself, then ask him if he could bring a girl along
for you when he and Michelle went out for that drink!
Garrett, you're a very, very nice, sweet fellow, but you're also very,
very naive. The reason Michelle didn't call you is because she wasn't
interested enough to pick up the telephone. "Give me a call or
something," she told you. To you Psych majors, you had her mixed up with
someone who cared! Could she be any more lukewarm?
But I wouldn't bother going out of my way for this one, buddy, because
she's not worth the effort. By giving out mixed messages, she proved
that she has no Consistency, which makes her no good for you. And
remember, "The System" tells us that "Women with high Interest Level are
consistent."
Sadly, Garrett, from her actions I would rate her Interest Level at only
somewhere between 5% and 10%. And when it's that low, you're not even a
blip on her radar screen.
Remember, guys, that when a girl doesn't pick up the phone and call you
within two weeks, that means you're out forever with that girl.
© Copyright 2003 DocLove DotCom, Inc
Featured Relationship Success Coach at aLoveLinksPlus
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"
WOMEN DON'T LIE - MEN DON'T LISTEN
Success Coach - Doc Love
Guys, e-mail me at
doclove@doclove.com
with your love challenges. All will be answered, but because of space, only letters of general interest will be printed. To find out more about The "System" visit me at:
www.doclove.com or (800) 404-2644.
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"
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