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 Doc
Love - Success Coach For Men
Women Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen
"A clinically sane woman who isn’t a mercenary will always respond
first and foremost to the qualities in a man known as The Three C’s:
Confidence, Control, Challenge."
Doc Love's Books:
Hi Doc,
I want to comment on your column: “When “The One" Isn't Pretty Enough.”
Your advice to Blake is right on target, a message to us to be a
gentleman and not a jerk or a player. The quote, "Beauty fades, but
attitude lasts forever" is really original and respectful to women.
That leads me to my dating problem. Is it too late to use "The System"
after I already blew it by telling my friend that I like her?
Boris - who wants more info
Dear Boris,
Thanks, I appreciate the compliment. And it’s admirable that being
respectful to women is a high priority for you. But there is also a tone
in your correspondence that makes me suspect that you may be suffering
from a case of Nice-Guy-itis. Why am I suspicious? Because, in your very
first sentence you placed such importance on disassociating yourself
from those men that you would label as “jerks” or “players.”
What you must realize is that those “jerks” and “players”, however
lacking in integrity they may be, have a lot of women chasing after
them. So even though I wouldn’t recommend that you model your overall
behavior after them, they do have certain charismatic qualities that you
can emulate to enhance your success with women. As my bible totin’
cousin Brother Love would say, “son, you must separate the wheat from
the chaf.”
You need to UNderstand, Boris, that being somewhat Unpredictable and
UNavailable is not being disrespectful to women. On the contrary, women
find those behaviors to be alluring, mysterious and exciting. And how
could giving women what they want and meeting their emotional needs be
considered being disrespectful to them?
Knowing that you are on the sensitive side of the spectrum of the male
populace, I’m concerned that you may attempt to verify OR invalidate
what I’ve just told you, by soliciting the opinions of various females
that you know. But I feel that I would be remiss not to give you this
admonition. Don’t friggin’ do it! You’ll only become more confused if
you do.
One of the most powerful axioms of “The System” is that you cannot
determine what women want by asking them directly. If you try asking
women what they want, they will only mislead you. They will talk your
ear off about what qualities they desire in a man, but they are
essentially incapable of clearly communicating what male traits they
actually deeply respond to emotionally.
If you don’t believe me, all you have to do is pick any three women to
interview. Then notice the contrast between the character traits that
they tell you that they value most in a mate and the actual character
traits of the various men that they have stayed with for any length of
time throughout their lives. To you Psych majors, they don’t know what
the hell they want.
Initially they’ll always recite the usual cliché things like sensitivity
and a good sense of humor as being the qualities they value most. Maybe
they’ll be honest enough to mention that primal, primitive physical
attraction is a prerequisite. Those who have mercenary tendencies may
even tell you that they want to be with a guy who is “ambitious” (which
is Womanese for wealthy). But a clinically sane woman who isn’t a
mercenary will always respond first and foremost to the qualities in a
man known as The Three C’s.
What are these three essential C’s? No, they’re not Cash, Corvettes and
Cocaine. What women really want, what they long for whether they know it
or not, are the three most powerful attributes that a man a man can
posses: Confidence, (self) Control and Challenge. (For an in depth
explanation of The Three C’s refer to “The System”.)
I share all of this with you, Boris, to support you in finding your
center. Somewhere in the middle between the extremes of the
self-absorbed Macho Jerk and the wimpy Teddy Bear Guy, is the Real Man
who has a healthy respect for women and lives and breathes The Three
C’s.
Now, to answer your question, Boris. If your female “friend” had a level
of romantic interest in you of 90% or higher, then your anti-Challenge
behavior of telling her that you “like” her will have done little or
nothing to lower her Interest Level. But if she began with an Interest
Level in you of 89% or lower, I can guarantee you that it’s lower than
that now. And the lower it was to begin with, the greater the number of
percentage points it will have dropped since the execution of your big
boo-boo.
But that doesn’t mean that it’s too late to start using “The System.”
Even if this gal’s level of romantic interest in you has sunk below the
critical 50% threshold or, never was any higher than that to begin with,
“The System”will insure your success with the next one that comes along.
Remember, guys: players aren’t all bad.
© Copyright 2001-2008 DocLove DotCom, Inc
Featured Relationship Success Coach at aLoveLinksPlus
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"
WOMEN DON'T LIE - MEN DON'T LISTEN
Success Coach - Doc Love
Guys, e-mail me at
doclove@doclove.com
with your love challenges. All will be answered, but because of space, only letters of general interest will be printed. To find out more about The "System" visit me at:
www.doclove.com or (800) 404-2644.
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"
aLoveLinksPlus is pleased to feature Doc Love every
week with new articles to challenge your relationship preconceptions and
first aid with your troubles.
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