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 Doc
Love - Success Coach For Men
Women Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen
"I know you say that ANY broken date is bad news, but she was so
insistent and so enthusiastic that I felt like I’d be kind of a jerk if
I didn’t accept."
Doc Love's Books:
Hey Doc,
I saw this ridiculously pretty girl, Sandy (not her real name), at my
yoga class a few weeks ago. She kept smiling at me, so I followed your
advice, Doc, and immediately after class, right in front of a bunch of
other women (I couldn’t talk to her in private), I asked her for her
phone number.
When I asked her, this sort of ‘should I or shouldn’t I’ look came over
her face for a few seconds. That’s when I felt like – “Oh man, I
shouldn’t have been so direct so soon. Now I’m really going to look like
a fool.” But then, almost like a miracle, she reached in her purse and
took out a pen and paper and wrote down her number and handed it to me
and then gave me another great smile.
I was totally stoked when she handed me that piece of paper. I also have
to say that I really felt good about myself for taking the risk. I asked
for the home phone number, Doc, and I did it with an audience of people
watching. I walked out of that yoga class feeling like a hero.
So, Sandy and I have gone out twice since then, and both dates went
really well. We seem to have good chemistry together. We were scheduled
to go out a third time last Tuesday night, but on Tuesday afternoon she
called me at work to say that she reluctantly had to cancel our date.
She said that her dog, “Roscoe,” had been injured by a car that morning
and that she needed to stay with him at the veterinary hospital. But she
apologized profusely for having to cancel and wanted to re-schedule,
right then and there, for the following Tuesday. I hesitated for a
moment because I know you say that ANY broken date is bad news, but she
was so insistent and so enthusiastic that I felt like I’d be kind of a
jerk if I didn’t accept.
Still, I’m not sure if I did the right thing. Did I blow it Doc? How
should I handle this now? (Please respond as soon as you can, Tuesday
will be here in a few days.)
Tanner- who wants to know if he did the right thing
Hey Tanner,
First of all, let me commend you for summoning the courage to ‘close’
Sandy while an audience of other females looked on. I know from my early
days as a junior Love Doctor how intimidating that can be. Most guys
chicken out when they have an audience watching when it’s time to ask
for the number, even though they’re dying to ask for it.
But, Tanner, once you commit to taking action you have to stay committed
and maintain a positive attitude. One moment of hesitation from this
girl and you were ready to sell out “The System.” So what if she had
said no. You did the right thing. You noticed she was flirting with you.
Then you made your move because you were interested in her and you
needed her number to be able to ask her out. You did exactly what you’re
supposed to do. You should never feel insecure or be apologetic about
asking a girl for her home phone number. Even if she tries to shame you
after you ask (which they sometimes do).
All right, now let’s examine this broken date situation as a detective
from “Love and Order” would. The Reality Factor says, we don’t know if
Sandy’s excuse is completely legitimate or if it’s total fiction.
Usually, even the most compelling story a girl gives you for breaking a
date turns out to be just that, a story. And she winds up canceling any
subsequent date that you arrange with her as well. Once I had a girl
call me as I was walking out the door to pick her up and tell me that
she had to cancel our date because her pregnant sister was just going
into labor and she had to meet her at the hospital. It turned out she
didn’t have a sister.
The main issue here, Tanner, is respect. When you accept a counter offer
for another date from a girl who is calling to break a date with you,
you’re, in effect, telling her that she has your permission to jerk you
around. What you should have said was “Sandy, we don’t know how quickly
little Roscoe is going to recover, and he is going to need your full
attention and care for awhile. So let’s wait and see how he does before
we re-schedule.” To say something like that would be taking charge of
the situation and taking your power back. As my Uncle Jethro Love would
say, “When that Lil’ Mustang gets ornery on you, you gotta pull back on
the reigns.”
At this point, the strongest thing you can do is call Sandy back on
Monday and break the Tuesday date with her. Make up some convincing
whopper of your own. Don’t suggest any day as an alternative. Instead,
just say, “So hey, I’m in a rush right now, but let’s talk later on.” Do
not tell her that YOU will call HER. Keep it ambiguous.
Then, you have to out-wait her. If she never calls back, then you’ll
know that her Interest Level in you was never high to begin with, and
you will have saved yourself from more disappointment and another wasted
$100 on dinner for two.
In order for the two of you to go out again, SHE must call YOU. She must
apologize again. And, SHE must ask YOU out. If she does all those
things, then you can put her on probation and give her another chance.
But one more red flag from this babe and it’s Adios Amiga!
Remember, guys, to ask yourselves, “How many dates have I broken in my
entire life?”
© Copyright 2001-2008 DocLove DotCom, Inc
Featured Relationship Success Coach at aLoveLinksPlus
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"
WOMEN DON'T LIE - MEN DON'T LISTEN
Success Coach - Doc Love
Guys, e-mail me at
doclove@doclove.com
with your love challenges. All will be answered, but because of space, only letters of general interest will be printed. To find out more about The "System" visit me at:
www.doclove.com or (800) 404-2644.
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"
aLoveLinksPlus is pleased to feature Doc Love every
week with new articles to challenge your relationship preconceptions and
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