The difference between how men and women think about dating - and why most women want to keep you from being successful.
*** How To Get A Girlfriend ***
Well, if you've been reading my newsletters for awhile, then I'll bet that the title of this particular article got your attention...
I know, I know... I don't usually talk very much about "girlfriends" and "relationships".
But today is SPECIAL.
It's special because I'm going to take an entire article to talk about the subject.
to talk about something FAR more important. I'm going to talk about
how to GET a GREAT girlfriend...
and what to do once you've GOTTEN her so you don't screw it up and LOSE her.
As a quick side note, I really believe that most men ULTIMATELY want a GREAT relationship with a beautiful, interesting, intelligent woman.
The REASON most guys learn to be more successful with women and dating is to find a GREAT one... not just so they can date a million women. Sure, some guys just want to date a lot of women, and aren't "relationship" material.
But I believe that probably 90% of guys who study this area of life do so because they want to have OPTIONS when it comes to women and dating... and they want to be able to meet and date more intelligent, attractive, and interesting women... but ULTIMATELY I think that most guys would like to meet a really nice, attractive woman to share a great relationship with.
If you've read my eBook "Double Your Dating" and you've been reading and applying what you're learning from these newsletters, then you're meeting more women.
And what happens when you learn how to meet women in any situation... and you start dating more women?
Duh... your standards go UP.
Instead of just "settling" for any woman that will go out with you, you start wanting THE BEST. This is only natural.
Here's where things get interesting...
When a guy who hasn't been particularly good with women and dating gets his first date with an UNUSUALLY wonderful woman, it will often shake him up... and he'll "forget" everything he's learned... and start acting like his former "Wuss Self".
When the stakes go up in life, we humans get nervous.
And this nervousness often hurts us by "blanking" our minds, and makes us SCREW UP... instead of HELPING us by calming us and causing us to remember what we SHOULD be doing.
Hey, I didn't design humans... I just work with what's already there. Don't blame me. So how does this translate when it comes to guys dating unusually attractive women for the first time? Well, after having this happen in my own life many times, and getting emails from countless guys who have gone through the same thing, I think the process goes a little something like this:
1) Become frustrated because he's not having success with women and dating. Decides to do something about it.
2) Starts learning techniques and ideas to improve success. Begins to improve, and realizes that it IS possible to have more success with women. Feels excited as results improve.
3) Wakes up one day and realizes that the types of women that were previously "untouchable" are, in fact, within reach. Decides to do something about it.
4) Gets a date with a woman that was previously "out of his league". Instantly becomes aware that this is a VERY important situation. Becomes nervous.
5) Goes out on the date, and acts like a Wuss Bag. Because he knows the MAJOR mistakes to avoid, and the important things to do, still does "OK"... to the point where the woman has a good time, enjoys herself, etc.
6) Goes home and says to self "Self, you'd better not screw this one up. Call her and ask her out again. This girl is RELATIONSHIP MATERIAL. It's OK to call her a lot and act like a Wuss, because she's different. I know that David D. would He-Bitch-Man-Slap me for this, but if he knew how amazing THIS PARTICULAR girl was, he would understand." Part of this step is thinking about the girl all the time, and secretly wondering if she's OUT WITH ANOTHER GUY.
7) Proceeds to call and get Date #2 (for the very next night, of course).
8) On Date #2 (or Date #3) says to the girl "You're special. I have FEELINGS for you." (Or something equally emotional, needy, clingy, or Wuss-like.)
9) Calls the amazing girl every day... to the point where she stops returning his calls and starts actively avoiding his calls. Girl finally says something like "I think I need some time ALONE right now in life" or "It's not YOU, it's ME" or "You're such a great guy, and I really like you a lot... but I'm just not ready for a RELATIONSHIP right now", etc.
10) Writes in to David D. and says "HELP, you've got to help me out with this one. Please please please. This girl is amazing and I want her to be my girlfriend, but I acted like a Wuss, and now she only likes me as a friend. What can I do to get her back?"
And if you've been tuned in to my newsletter for awhile, you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about. Hell, if you've been tuned in long enough, YOU have probably sent me an email like the one I just mentioned.
So there are two pieces to this puzzle:
1) How to get a girlfriend.
2) How to not screw it up when you get one.
HOW TO GET A GIRLFRIEND
Here are some ideas for how to GET a great girlfriend:
1) Realize that attractive, intelligent, amazing women are IN DEMAND. They are RARE (I believe that a man who has his life together and understands women and attraction is FAR RARER, but that's a different conversation).
2) Because these women are rare and in demand, they usually have a lot of EXPERIENCE with men. And guess what? MEN ARE VERY PREDICTABLE. Men usually ask women out in one of a few PREDICTABLE ways... and they usually act one of a few PREDICTABLE ways on dates... and they usually respond in one of a few PREDICTABLE ways after the date... etc.
3) When it comes to the unusually attractive, desirable women, they have usually had a LOT of men who have "fallen" for them "too quickly". In other words, when they meet a guy who falls for them quickly, they RECOGNIZE it instantly, and RESPOND to it by RUNNING away.
4) If you want to get one of these desirable women to consider a RELATIONSHIP with you, you need to NOT act like one of the other 100 boring guys she's gone out with.
5) It is VITALLY important that you learn everything you can about women and dating before you go looking for a long-term relationship with a fantastic woman.
Of course, I recommend my eBook and other advanced materials for this. You won't find a better education anywhere on this topic, and what you'll learn from me will definitely help you get your "game" together in this area. If you can't afford to get my materials right now, just keep reading these newsletters religiously.
They're jam packed with great information, and they'll help you tremendously. The point is that you have to KEEP WORKING on it. Don't just learn a few things and think "OK, I've got it".
6) You must give an unusually attractive woman SPACE. You can't call her every day, tell her that you're in love with her two days after you've met her, chase her around, always ask what she's doing, etc. You must give this special woman THE GIFT OF MISSING YOU.
7) When you're in her presence, you must not treat her like you desperately want and need her approval. There's a way to do ANYTHING and have it mean ANYTHING. Whatever you do, don't try to "impress" her, act apologetic for anything about yourself, or otherwise give away your personal POWER. EVER.
8) If you have a life, stay with it. If you don't have a life, get one. Don't sit around wondering what she's doing, calling her, telling her how you "feel", etc. If she wanted another "girlfriend", she'd get one. So don't act like one. Desirable women want men who are INDEPENDENT, and who give them SPACE.
In fact, if anything, you need to give a woman like this TOO MUCH space. You want HER to be the one who is calling YOU to figure out what you're up to.
9) If you sense that this woman is "testing" you by being difficult, trying to change plans with you on short notice all the time, etc. then RELAX. Lean back. Never let her "get away" with anything just because she's beautiful, or let her have any "special privileges" because you like her. NEVER.
10) If you want a long-term relationship, let it DEVELOP over time. I personally don't think it's a good idea to even CONSIDER having a relationship with a woman until you have known her for a MINIMUM of 90 days. MINIMUM! If you take this mindset, it will FORCE you to chill out and let things develop over time, instead of trying to "force" them. You'll be VERY different from the other guys she's dated, and you'll find that SHE starts letting the "I have special feelings for you" talk slip out.
I'm suggesting a way of thinking, behaving, and communicating that is VERY different from the way most men think, behave, and communicate.
It is "counter intuitive"... it doesn't really seem to make sense at first. And it is NOT what your FEELINGS will tell you to do if you're not experienced with women.
But if you want to avoid being one of the guys who writes me a "David, you have to help me please please please..." letter, then I recommend you strongly consider this stuff... and use what you're learning from me.
HOW TO NOT SCREW IT UP WITH THE GIRL YOU HAVE
Now I'm REALLY getting into territory that I don't usually talk about, but I'll take a few minutes and comment on a few things...
I personally think one of the biggest mistakes men make with women comes down to GIVING AWAY PERSONAL POWER. This usually means acting apologetic, allowing a woman to "get away" with things that subtly put her "in control" of you, and behaving like a WUSSY.
Women don't feel that magical emotion called ATTRACTION for men who give away their power. Women aren't attracted to WUSSIES.
And what do most men do once they get into a long-term relationship?
They start acting like Wussies.
Go figure, huh?
And another of the biggest mistakes that men make with women is acting BORING AND PREDICTABLE. These are two sides to the same coin. Most guys do this right from the beginning, and kill any chances of having ANY kind of success with a woman. But the REAL challenge comes when you get into a longer relationship with a person... because they get a chance to LEARN what to expect.
In other words, it's harder to not act boring and predictable with someone who has known you for a long time.
But you MUST do it if you want to keep the magic alive!
What I'm trying to say is that it's not enough to get a woman to say "Yes, I want to be in a relationship with you" or "Yes, I want to marry you". You're going to wake up in five years, and still have to MAKE your relationship great. Just because it's great now doesn't mean that you can "let it slide".
I get a kick out of the emails I get from all the married guys out there who are using these materials and techniques to put the spark back into their marriages. Yes, even your wife who you've been married to for twenty years still wants you to make her feel ATTRACTION for you.
I hope this article has made you think. And I hope it has made you realize that there's a lot more to GETTING and KEEPING a really attractive, amazing woman than a few tricks. You have to do a lot of INNER work if you want to be the kind of guy who can keep an amazing woman.
When I was on my own personal quest to learn how to attract women, I found that most of the materials available only focused on the OUTER game. In other words, they only talked about techniques.
They said "Just go up to a woman and say HI..." but they didn't talk about HOW to say the words, or how to understand what the woman would be thinking when I did approach her... or any of the million other "INNER GAME" issues around meeting women.
After spending a few years figuring this stuff out, I have realized that it is VITAL that a guy get his Inner Game together FIRST.
Once you understand how and why women are attracted to certain types of men, and how the human "mating dance" works, you will SEE things differently. You'll understand things in a new way.
It's like putting on a pair of 3-D glasses... and seeing things in a totally new way.
Then, I think it's important to learn THE BEST "techniques" and actual strategies for meeting women... from where to go, to what to say, to how to take things to a "physical" level smoothly and without "rejection".
If you want to learn how to meet the kind of exceptional woman that is "relationship material", and then KEEP her once you do find her, then this program will be priceless to you.
...and watch it in action, learn it, and use it.
Talk to you soon,
(c) Robert Lee alovelinksplus.com, and David DeAngelo Inc. All Rights Reserved.