Similarly, attractive (should I rather say beautiful) women come to expect
certain reactions from men simply because that is what they have learned to
expect. After a while, the AC learns to assimilate this as a given or
expected response and thus no longer gives the female brain (bearing in mind
that the same reaction occurs in men) the shot of dopamine it craves. It
doesn't get its fix. So when someone comes along that either does something
completely unexpected or alternatively does not do what is expected, then
the AC fires and the brain receives its fix - for the time being until the
unexpected becomes the expected. This would explain why people get bored
with each other after a certain time, and it is interesting to note that
research has shown that it takes about two to three years for a gambling (or
any other form of addiction) to manifest as such. Odd that it also seems to
take about the same length of time for humans to become bored with each
other and seek out another mate - although societal conditioning seems to
prohibit us from really making a break at this stage.
The trick as far as the maintenance of a long term relationship is
concerned, perhaps, is to regularly change tactics.
To conclude, I propose that there may well be some considerable logic behind
attraction between the sexes, and that this is based in the same mechanism
that causes addiction in people. Attraction is merely another form of
addiction.
Sincerely,
D B
Johannesburg, South Africa
>>>David D:
Thank you, I really enjoyed your email.
There is a region of the brain that is closely related to the area that
you've described called "Broca's Region". This area is linked to language
and prediction. Broca's region is constantly predicting what's about to
happen, and it's constantly watching out for the UNPREDICTABLE. If something
unpredictable happens, it alerts the rest of the brain, and a person's
attention is immediately focused on that thing. On the other hand, if what
happens is predictable, then it is automatically discounted and kept out of
awareness.
A problem that most guys have is that they do things that are very, very
predictable, and therefore never even get the ATTENTION of the woman that
they're interested in... never mind make progress, get a date, etc.
For instance, most guys will approach an attractive woman, act nervous and
almost apologetic - and like they're seeking her approval - and then ask
something stupid like "You probably have a boyfriend, huh?" or "Can I take
you out sometime?"
Not only are these things predictable and boring, but they're also bad for
many other reasons as well...
Attractive women get this kind of thing so much that they begin to actually
DISCOUNT any man who even LOOKS like this might be what he's communicating.
And, as you've pointed out above, nothing "fires" in her mind.
The boring approach is discounted, and the man is mentally put into the "no"
category before he even has a chance to have a meaningful conversation.
After this labeling process, virtually nothing he can do can get him out of
this category in the woman's mind, and the game is now over.
On the other hand, when a man approaches a woman and does all the RIGHT
things in an interesting, unpredictable way, the woman's brain "fires", and
she feels ATTRACTION. And then nothing that SHE does can change it. Her mind
has put him into the "attractive" category, and her emotions take over.
The lesson here?
Don't be predictable. Be an interesting, unpredictable challenge to women.
As you probably know, this is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to
meeting and attracting women. Once you learn how and WHY attraction works,
you then have to learn the specifics of what to do in different situations
to actually approach women, get their numbers/email, get dates, take things
to a physical level, etc.
You must learn and use INTERESTING, UNPREDICTABLE techniques that GET A
WOMAN'S ATTENTION AND KEEP IT. You must also learn how and why women feel
ATTRACTION for some men... even when those men aren't tall, handsome, or
rich.
If you haven't read my eBook "Double Your Dating", then I'd recommend that
you START by reading it. In a few hours of reading you can learn all of the
basics of how to meet and date the kinds of women you've always wanted. Just
go to:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/
- just follow the 'ebook' link and download your copy. This book and the
three bonuses that come with it are the FOUNDATION for success with women.
Everything you read in these articles will make more sense once you have
read the book.