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This article: "Knowing that your body language always speaks first to women, you need to know how to control this hidden communication and use it to your advantage."
When you're about to approach a woman what goes through your mind?
"I need something funny to say, a great opening line"
"She's hot, I hope she likes how I look"
"She's a higher class than me, do I have a chance?"
She's older than me…"
"She's younger than me…"
And all kinds of other fears that put you in a bad place, a bad frame of
mind that will defeat your approach almost every time. (I say almost because
some women are incredibly forgiving but they're the 1% you almost never meet
and let you get away with being a dork.)
I call this "The frame of your brain falls mainly into plain".
You make poorly distinguishable eye contact; you don't read her body language for her "come closer to me" signals; your attempts at easy conversation fall on her deaf ears because your confidence is so lacking that no matter what you say it comes across as unimportant or just a bad pickup.
When you can stand out from the other men around you, you've become in control of your frame.
You understand women's body language, and you understand the signals she's sending you as you make your approach. Most of all you know what to say and how to say it to transition from "nice-looking-stranger-guy" to the "guy that makes me laugh and has my attention".
This is called "creating attraction".
This is what your goal is with every woman you meet, whether it's a waitress and you want to encourage her to give you great service, she's a store clerk and you're going to ask for a discount, or she's a hottie and you want more than her phone number.
There are three things you can do with yourself that will instantly build you up, make you seem more confident and appealing with any woman that see you and more commanding around other men. You may think that you've been told these things before and maybe you have, but not like this!
Eye contact
Smile
Posture
Now we'll handle these three important affects head on.
Eye Contact
Flirting, creating intimacy and maintaining a confident frame start
with how you use your eyes.
You see her and you lock eyes. If you're talking with someone else, keep your eyes on her, only looking at the person you are talking with in short pauses. This "eye locking" technique shows interest, and more than that, if you're talking with someone else at the same time you keep eye contact with her then you are showing how you want her to be involved in your conversation, how important your interest is in her (because you're looking at her while talking with a third person) and as you keep her eyes locked on yours you are intoning an invitation to get together and introduce yourself and talk.
Smile
Surely you've heard of "Helen of Troy" whose smile launched a
thousand ships. And the "Mona Lisa" with a particularly enigmatic
smile that has attracted viewers for centuries. And everyone has
seen a clown with his painted on smile. These smiles have particular
places in history. But how does your smile rate? Could you "launch a
thousand ships"? Could you attract and generate an attractive aura
with your smile when you enter a room, when you meet someone new,
when you are with friends?
Yes you can, and this is how:
When you are first facing someone, whether standing nearby or across a room
(even a webcam) don't start off with a big clown smile. Big smiles, when
your smile starts big, can be intimidating and a big turnoff, this type of
"first glance" smile can even be viewed as aggressive!
Start your smile slowly, a second or two after making eye contact. Let your smile grow to fullness over two seconds. A nice slow blooming of you smile is a signal that says "I'm friendly and very interested in you". And this smile works every time! I want you to practice this smile for the next couple of days, first using your webcam, then with real people as your audience.
You will be amazed at the results you get all from a simple smile that starts slow and envelopes your target.
Posture
Mother always said "sit up straight, no slouching!". We never
listened and we never learned positive posture. Well, my friend, now
is the time. I want you to first off start watching the people
around you. Watch carefully for who is popular, who is confident,
watch carefully for the people that command attention. Do you see
how they stand? Head straight, shoulders back, stomach in, feet
slightly apart. In real life and even on TV you'll see the same
types of stances of people.
The basics of good posture are also the body language that commands respect and attention.
You're likely sitting right now. I want you to stand up, slowly. Uncoil yourself from your chair, plant your feet firmly on the ground and slightly apart, push the chair back while standing up, straighten your legs and back together. Hold your stance and push your shoulders back. This is standing with proper posture.
This body language makes people take notice of you. When you enter a
room, this tall posture stance is how you come in and take command of the
room. Practice this posture stance and walk for a few days and it will
become a more permanent part of your instinctive routine. And a huge part of
getting people to notice you.
This is the basic frame of creating an attractive body and personality. Eye
contact that is intriguing, smiles that are infective and posture that is
commanding.
The next step of creating your frame is part of the "Double Your Dating"
website. This is a free-to-join men only website and you can get more
information about it
here
Your friend,
David Deangelo
People that read this article also read:
(c) 2012 Robert Lee and Cheerful Attitude Web Design Ltd. and David DeAngelo Inc. All Rights Reserved. By accepting and reading this article you agree that: You understand this to be an opinion and not professional advice, it is only to be used for personal entertainment purposes, you are solely responsible for any use of the ideas, concepts, and content and will hold all harmless. Article may not be reprinted without express written consent of the authors.
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