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This week: "Being playful, fun, different, Cocky & Funny, and not acting like a Wuss makes all the difference to women you want to date as far as attraction goes."
Hey David D!
Who says there's no such thing as magic? When it comes to women, cocky+funny is PURE 100% magic. It is one of the major keys to getting her making her comfortable with you, to getting her number, to getting the date, kissing, getting laid, EVERYTHING! Your stuff is pure platinum my man! Looking back on mailbags from over a year ago, I still shake my head and say: "Man, this guy is good. I cant wait 'till I am able to pull off those lines like that!" The lines are so funny and with cockyness, it just blows them away! Everytime you do it, you can just FEEL the women responding to you in a positive way and not trying to ignore you or get away from you when you act like a wuss-bag.
They are always laughing and smiling and even THEY tend to get touchy-feely, asking me for MY number and then calling ME (of course, I always get their numbers too) or asking me to call them, asking me when we're going out, and even asking ME for sex. I could not believe it! And often, this could happen within minutes or hours of meeting...not weeks, months, or years like I once thought it took. I suggest all guys especially the skeptics out there to get your stuff. It works!
What I LOVE is how you say making it look like as if a woman is picking YOU up. It sure takes the pressure off of the situation. It's all in the mindset. You are not nervous because you know she wants you and is trying to get you...not the other way around. Then you act accordingly. Here's just a few of the lines I use:
"Look, just because you're being sweet to me doesn't mean I'm going to sleep with you. What? You thought I was THAT easy? Cummon!"
(with women at work or women working somewhere) "How can you possibly get any work done when you're flirting with me all the time? I know I'm a stud and all but if you lose your job, don't think I'm going to support you!"
(after seeing a woman) "I know we had fun, but please don't become a stalker and call me 50 times a day or else I'll have the cops pay you a visit with a restraining order in hand!"
(If a woman hints at sex or sometimes I'll bring it up)
"I don't know if I could have sex with you...what if you could only last 2 minutes? I don't know if you can even kiss...I tell you what, I'll THINK about it" (then I kiss her)
(cocky+funny for a common situation)
Her: "How are you?"
Me: "Well, I've been told I'm pretty damn good!" with a 'wink'
(If a woman walks past me)
Me: "What are you doing" (or where are you going?)
Her: "I'm going to such and such or I'm doing such and such"
Me: "You're a lousy liar...<pause>...It's really ok to admit you were just trying to get a look at me... and as long as you're not a stalker, I may give you a chance!"
(If she makes fun of herself) Her: "I'm such a retard" or "My hair looks awful" or "My lipstick doesn't look good does it?"
Me: "Well, I didn't want to say anything!" lol "But I think those guys over there were thinking 'What's her problem? She's so clueless!"
Her: "My hair looks bad doesn't it?" (or any other line where she makes fun of herself)
Me: "You can say that again!" (with a playful tone)
I love it! I love it! With this type of communication, they react SO differently! A lot of times, they will break down and admit they DO like me! And this keeps you out of the "lets just be friends" category and reduces the number of fake numbers and blow-offs you get from women. It also keeps you from appearing "TOO NICE". AND I don't have to CHASE them anymore! It's a wonderful feeling. Now on the other hand, what if you said:
"I bet you have a boyfriend, right?"
"Hey baby, you're so beautiful!"
"Can I take you out sometime?"
"Oh, baby, there's nothing wrong with you! You're gorgeous!"
AH! David, just like you say...THIS STUFF IS TERRIBLE!
Wuss, kiss-ass behavior at its best!
It's so lame, so boring, and so wussie, and so blah! Using cocky+funny, we can have more fun without sounding like a loser plus women respond 1,000,000% times better with cocky+funny. Probably only 1-2% of the male population know what cocky+funny is and probably half of those do it without realizing it. This type of communication is DIFFERENT from what MOST guys do which makes you stand out! But it's a lot like water. For water (H20), you need 2 hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom. If not then you get some other element you aren't looking for.
You have to have the right mixture of cocky AND funny or else it doesn't work as well (although sheer cockyness with mild humor CAN work to a degree).
Now, I have a question and observation that is important to me, David. SOMETIMES when I throw out a cocky+funny response, they will say "Oh whatever!" or roll their eyes or say you're mean, get mad, or something like that and walk away. This happens not often but on rare occasions. These women are probably uptight anyways and not worth getting know. When they say "whatever" or "You're so mean" and they're laughing or smiling, and they still keep talking to me, then I know it's working. Also, when you say something like: "...Oh quit lying, you were just walking near me because you want me" and they say "No, I don't want you" or "No I wasnt, I was just doing _ _ _ _ _" in a semi-serious tone, how do you respond to that to keep the cocky+funny going? In other words, what do you do when they act as if they AREN'T picking you up?
Thanks a million Dave...you've changed my life forever... seriously.
GT from Nashville, Tennessee
David D >>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, so let's talk about the great comments that you've shared, and then I'll address your question:
I was amazed when I first realized that you could actually turn the tables around, pretend that you're trying to "resist her advances", and make fun of her for trying to "put the moves on you"... and wind up having the woman you're talking to actually start feeling attracted to you as a result.
It really is amazing.
Now, I know that a lot of guys hear this approach and think "Yea, right. There's no way that just pretending that a woman is pursuing you will MAKE her pursue you".
But this isn't just any old common way of "pretending".
What you're doing here is a very special, Cocky & Funny, flirty, engaging way of pretending.
I'm sure you've watched the Discovery Channel, and seen animals "play fighting". It's common among young animals in particular.
Now, how do animals know that it's only "play", as opposed to "real" fighting?
I mean, have you ever seen the way some animals, likelion cubs and wolf pups jump on and bite each other?
It certainly LOOKS like real fighting.
But it's not... it's play.
Well there's a very similar thing that happens when you flirt with a woman
using the Cocky & Funny technique...
and when you use this further to pretend that she's trying to "pick you up" and you're "resisting her advances".
You have to use just a LITTLE EXTRA drama.
You have to be a little "overly suspicious" with your tone.
You have to act just a little too serious and offended.
These little cues, along with a good sense of humor and timing are the hints and triggers that make a woman instantly switch into "Oh, this is play" mode, instead of behaving as if you're a loser who has no imagination.
There are some other key benefits, as you mentioned above, as well when you're using this approach.
One is that you don't come across as nervous or intimidated. The fact that you're turning the tables around, having fun, and acting like you're something special sends the message that you're totally cool, calm, and comfortable in your own skin... and, in fact, you're SO comfortable that you're going to go immediately to "play" mode.
Another is that it gives you a "character role" to play that is the OPPOSITE of being a WUSS. This is handy, as most guys switch quickly into Wuss mode when they start talking to an attractive woman.
Finally, it gives you all kinds of great ways to end the interaction...
You can say:
"OK, well I'm not going to give you my number, but you can write down your email for me, and maybe I'll get back to you sometime..." etc.
It even makes taking things to the next level easy and charming, because you're "resisting forward".
A quick personal story:
I was at Hooters Restaurant yesterday afternoon with a friend, and the waitress approached us to get our order.
She walked over and said something like "Hi, can I get you something to drink?" etc.
I pretended not to notice her, and kept talking to my friend.
Then, as she finished asking the question, I turned to her with a surprised and "fake offended" look on my face, and said "Oh, that's OK, I was just TALKING" (as if she had interrupted me).
She opened her mouth with the "Oh, no you didn't! I can't believe you just said that" look.
I shook my head at her.
Then my friend looked at her and said "Wow, you're very forward. Next thing she's going to be asking for your phone number".
I shook my head at her again, and rolled my eyes.
We gave her the drink order, and she went away.
She came back a few minutes later to tell me that my drink was going to be delayed, because they were making some kind of change in the kitchen.
Of course, I threw up my hands in despair, rolled my eyes at her, and shook my head (as if she was disappointing me horribly).
She laughed and said "Hey, you'd better watch out, I might have to ask you for your phone number"...
We had talked for a grand total of about a minute, and she was already joking around about asking me for my number.
Keep in mind, this is a HOOTERS waitress (and a cute one, at that). She works in an environment where hundreds of guys try to pick up on her, one after the other.
Now, as you can imagine, this kind of thing happens all the time when I interact with waitresses, etc. I've found that it's no harder to get a waitress to give you her email/number than it is to get any other girl's info, by the way.
What's the secret?
Being playful, fun, different, Cocky & Funny, and not acting like a Wuss who wants to call her 100 times a day and tell her how pretty she is.
Now I'd like to address your question.
Here it is again:
"...SOMETIMES when I throw out a cocky+funny response, they will say "Oh whatever!" or roll their eyes or say you're mean, get mad, or something like that and walk away. This happens not often but on rare occasions. These women are probably uptight anyways and not worth getting know. When they say "whatever" or "You're so mean" and they're laughing or smiling, and they still keep talking to me, then I know it's working. Also, when you say something like: "...Oh quit lying, you were just walking near me because you want me" and they say "No, I don't want you" or "No I wasn't, I was just doing _ _ _ _ _" in a semi-serious tone, how do you respond to that to keep the cocky+funny going? In other words, what do you do when they act as if they AREN'T picking you up?..."
What I'm about to tell you is sometimes hard for guys to accept, so get ready.
SOME PEOPLE DON'T HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR.
My guess is that something like 60%-80% of the population just plain aren't very interesting or fun to talk to.
Some people are actually ARROGANT about their lack of a sense of humor.
These are my personal favorites.
I remember meeting a girl at a bar a couple of years ago.
I was in Hollywood, CA at a fancy bar, and she was one of these "I'm a beautiful actress, and I know it" types.
I was ordering a drink, and she bumped into me.
I turned and said "Don't touch me!"
She just looked at me with a "You're a jerk" look, and leaned away from me.
I smiled at her, and said "It was a joke, it's OK" (with kind of a slightly sarcastic "you didn't get it" tone of voice).
She said something like "Well, it wasn't funny. You seem like an arrogant jerk".
I couldn't help myself... I burst into laughter.
She, of course, got even more annoyed.
Now, most guys would have gotten all upset, thought that they must have done something majorly wrong, and tried to apologize and get the woman to like them.
I immediately recognized this girl as a person who just plain doesn't have a sharp sense of humor, and who is probably a HUGE pain in the ass to deal with in real life, and laughed at her.
You'll notice that a lot of guys write in to the Mailbagswith questions like "I'm dating four women right now, and they're all wonderful, but there's this ONE girl that I just can't get... how do I make the one that isn't interested LIKE me?"
This is a curious thing.
We humans always want the approval of the person who doesn't want to give it to us.
Instead of just walking away and saying "your loss", we often chase after them, begging and pleading for their approval... and thinking that we must have done something wrong.
Remember, some people actually ENJOY making other people feel bad. Some women actually ENJOY rejecting men. It gives them a feeling of power.
There are MANY women who will spend all week shopping, two hours putting on their clothing and makeup (and doing their hair), just to go out and get attention from men... so they can reject those men, and complain to their friends about what "losers" and "pigs" men are, and how they hate it when men look at them like a "piece of meat".
Go figure. Let me give you a little "tough love".
Part of growing up, becoming a REAL MAN, and getting this area of your life handled is realizing that not all women are nice people, and not letting those that aren't nice AFFECT YOU.
You can reach a point in your life where your attitude become "I do not give anyone permission to take my joy, happiness, and good mood from me".
When you get to this point, then IT DOESN'T MATTER if a woman doesn't respond positively to your approach.
It doesn't matter if she rejects you.
It doesn't matter if she doesn't have a sense of humor.
None of this matters when you don't give anyone permission to TAKE YOUR JOY FROM YOU.
My advice: Learn to walk away. Learn to blow it off. Learn how to IMMEDIATELY disconnect and detach from these types of situations, and NOT let them affect you.
The "numbers game" goes both ways.
If you start meeting a lot of women, you will, by nature of meeting a LOT of women, meet quite a few that don't have a sense of humor, aren't friendly, aren't available, etc.
You need to learn the skill of keeping your power and joy for yourself, and NEVER giving it to someone you don't even know.
Make a decision right now that your joy is your own, and that you'll never allow another person to take it from you.
Dude, someone give me a hug.
OK... on a more serious note...
If you've been reading my newsletters for awhile then you know that I really believe it's important to get your "inner game" handled.
By "inner game", I mean things like your emotions, your outlook on life, your "mental map" of how things work between men and women, etc.
It took me a long time, and a lot of trial and error to find the things that REALLY work best when it comes to making women feel that powerful emotion called ATTRACTION.
And one of the most important things that I realized is that if you don't get your INNER GAME together,and learn how to THINK about women and dating, all the techniques in the world aren't going to help you very much.
I think it's important to change the way you THINK as you change the way you BEHAVE.
Women use little clues to figure out if you're the "real deal" or if you're just "faking it".
If you don't BELIEVE in what you're doing, then you're going to come across as a fake. You'll feel like you're being "manipulative"... and like a fraud.
When you UNDERSTAND what is happening, how and why women act the way they do, and how to make women feel ATTRACTION, then your behaviors feel "right" and they come across as AUTHENTIC... because they ARE.
...and watch it in action, learn it, and use it.
Talk to you soon,
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