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Getting Noticed By Women


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This article: I'm going to address one of the biggest blockers guy's face when trying to talk to, tease and attract women. It's a guy's own lack of self-confidence. This blocker is easy to overcome with a little practice and having the readiness to react to her moves.

Double Your Dating eBookDear Dave,
I have a problem with one half of your magic 'cocky and funny' formula: the 'cocky' part.

I've always had success with deadpan-style humor, with no facial expression whatsoever, and most of the time people can't tell if I'm being funny or not based on my expression. This is where I hit my problem: if I make a cocky/funny style of comment, I'm afraid I'll come off as arrogant if I don't give a smile or something. But in your ebook it says something along the lines of things being funnier if it's difficult to tell if you're joking.

So my question is this: Can I smile while being cocky and funny and busting on girls? Or should I keep a straight face all the time?

I'm not sure if this question makes any sense, but I think you'll be able to figure it out. You've great stuff that I've read so far!

David D. >>>My Comments
Here's the deal... when you're being Cocky and Funny, you must give up your fear of coming across as overly arrogant. The secret lies within the funny ingredient of the formula. A great model for Cocky and Funny is Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. If you haven't seen him, go search online and find his Star Wars video clip. You'll laugh until you cry.

Then, go find the Bon Jovi clip. Another masterpiece. You'll notice that Triumph is ruthless with the sarcastic comments... but they're all funny in the style that I speak of.

And when he feels like he may have gone over the top, he might throw in an "I kid, I kid". It's rare, but he does do it on occasion.

If you feel like your comment might have been taken too seriously, try a "sly smile". It's a combination of squinting your eyes a little, pursing your lips, and doing a slight half-mouthed smile. It's a nice touch.

In any event, you need to get over your fears, and get out there and do it! You'll find the balance.

***Question from a newsletter reader***

Hi Dave,
I may be a little skeptical, but I am 37 yrs old and have been divorced for 7 yrs. Although I have been told many times that I am an attractive guy I have had one date in the last 3 years, and I think it is because I am also overweight. I am 6'1" and weigh around 340 lbs.

I am convinced that women these days are not attracted to big guys like myself. I am also one of those "nice guys". Do you really think that this cocky funny attitude that I have been reading about would really work for a guy like me? I am willing to try anything at this point
D.E. Scranton (Pa.)

David D. >>>My Comments
Yeah, I think it would definitely work for you. In fact, I think it will work for anyone who applies themselves and figures it out. We each have our own particular situation in life. No two are the same. Some guys are rich and look like Brad Pitt, some guys are older and gray, some are overweight, some are bald, and some are inexperienced.

We each have our own strengths, weaknesses, and particular challenges in life.

This is one of the great things about being alive. We get a particular hand dealt to us, and it's one of the great joys in life to figure out how to best play it.

This is what differentiates men and what allows us to create our own style of attraction.

Honestly, from the way you explained yourself, I think that you're unhappy with your weight. In other words, it sounds to me like you've got self-imposed limitations and self-image issues... so simple techniques alone probably aren't going to solve your whole problem.

I'll bet that if you start working on your weight, while at the same time practicing the techniques you've learned here with women, the combination will yield better results.

When you improve two or more areas of your life at the same time, you'll find that you often have far better than just twice the results. But try to solve problems at the root, and not just at the branch level alone. Knowing that you're becoming a better man and having the abilities to act on those improvements will get you the results you crave.

***Reader Success Story***

Hey Dave,
Wanted to let you know a technique I've come up with that combines two points you've made in the past:
1) You can create attraction with contrast (e.g. busting on her verbally while your actions are gentlemanly)
2) Don't dip your pen in the company ink

So I use the good looking women at work as target practice, improving my game. But I tone it down a bit and always do really nice things for them, like if they need someone to carry a box or open a drawer. So now they think I'm kind of attractive, but also a bit of a wuss boy: not attractive enough for them to date (keeping me out of trouble at work), but perfect for a friend of theirs.

Hot women hang with hot women, and so far I've been set up with three fine young ladies this way (note: it helps to work for a big company so you have a good selection and distance between parties).

Now, the friend has heard that I'm a nice guy, so she's a little leery going into it and then shocker! I bust out as the Full Jedi Master. Once again, contrast added to cocky and funny. (As one said, "I heard you were kind of cute, but she didn't tell me how hot you really are!" For the record, I'm slightly above average.)

So far I'm 3-for-3 scoring major action on the first date. I'm keeping it cool, because there is the 2nd-hand work connection, so it can be a little tricky, but that's part of the fun. I let no one get too close too soon, and things continue hot 'n' heavy at my pace, and everyone's happy. I don't know if this will work for everyone, but it's sure worked for me. You rock!!!
M.B. Chicago

David D. >>>My Comments
Great points that you've discovered.
Attractive women know other attractive women. And practicing on women at work is great! You can also practice on waitresses that work at restaurants you frequent, hostesses/receptionists at places you go often, etc.

Women love to have fun, chemically-charged interactions with men, even if it's not leading to anything. So do practice whenever you can. And have the confidence to break-out of your work 'safe zone' and use these skills to meet the women you want to date.

***Question from a newsletter reader***

Dear Dave,
I bought your book, I read it and re-read it and re-read it.

I had always been funny but a lot had been self-deprecating or witticisms that were hysterical but required women to think and make the leap from A to B. So, based on your book, I changed my ways. I added "C" to my "F". Now, I'm a Lindy Hop Swing dancer. I dance at the clubs 4 times a week. go to workshops. I own instructional tapes. I listen to swing music constantly. I even dream I'm dancing sometimes. So, when I go to a club I'm not just going to meet women but also because I love dancing Lindy Hop. It works!

Before I ask my question, here's my success story.

After reading all the e-mails over and over and the book over and over, I made it a point to be C&F even when I'm not interested. One girl I asked to dance at a club said she had to leave but "do you come here often?" she asked. I told her that we only knew each other for a few minutes and was already she was trying to pick me up. I didn't mind, I said, but she should use a more original line.

Another girl I danced with messed up as she was dancing and her hand touched my ass by mistake. I spent the rest of the dance accusing her of trying to grab my ass because she liked it. (Her e-mail I got but I messed up the next bridge of our dance).

But the clincher in my mind that Cocky & Funny works is this: I take a 3-hour dance class once a week and it usually has the same people. One is this cute 19-year old. She's not my type and I'm not interested, but I still employ C&F whenever I see her, for practice. Well, this week out of the blue she says "I was talking to [Bob] about you the other day." Oh yeah? what did you say? I ask "I told him I like you because you're a smart-ass." My jaw practically dropped. I maintained composure while on the inside I was screaming "This stuff works!". "Smart-ass" was obviously "C&F". So, thank you and I plan to continue using this.

So, here's the thing:
Dancing this much is a blessing and a curse. A lot of women want to dance with me, but they only want to dance (I've gotten quite good). Plus, I'm into the dancing so I'll dance with several different women a night, and most likely each women multiple times.

How do I use C&F in these situations when:
A) Unless it's a slow song, you don't really have the opportunity to talk during the dance
B) If I get an e-mail/number, I'm still going to be at the club the rest of the night. Do I ask her to dance again? or do I ignore her? What if she asks me to dance again?
C) If I ignore her, I'm going to see her as I walk around looking for dance partners throughout the night, do I say anything as we pass by? Do I even smile at her?
D) Can I use C&F on multiple women throughout the night and get more than one e-mail or is that a bad idea? If dancing were a means to an end for me, it might be easier, but I'm really into this. My job is just a means for me to be able to go dancing (that's how into it I am). I know that I've got a potential gold mine at my feet since I dance. I've heard that "if you can dance you can get any woman you want." Well, I couldn't, but I'm only now starting to see how I can thanks to C&F. But it's only a beginning. Please help!!

David D. >>>My Comments
You've gone over your one question limit (LOL), but I'm going to give you a great idea anyway.

First off, making jokes about a woman trying to pick you up, not being that easy, being offended that she used such a cheap line, etc. is fantastic stuff.

Here's the idea:
If I were you, I'd learn how to be Cocky and Funny without saying a word. If you're a great dancer, then I'm sure you can come up with 100 ways of being cocky and funny while asking for the dance, ending the dance all the while not speaking, just acting.

Maybe you could notice mistakes that a girl is making, then imitate them over and over while keeping a look on your face of "Look at how cool I am".

Maybe you could incorporate some bizarre dance steps into a dance, then insinuate that she's dancing that way.

One thing I like to do is mirror a woman, then exaggerate some part of what she's doing.

If she has good posture, I might sit up extra straight and say, "You're slumping".

Cocky and Funny isn't just a verbal thing. Now I'm letting the cat out of the bag.

***Question from a newsletter reader***

Your insight into women and how to attract them is dead-on. Being cocky and funny works. Upon adopting your approach, my dating life improved dramatically: I went from dating one woman last year to dating 10 women within three months.

While dating is fun, like most guys, I eventually find one that I like and want to pursue it further, i.e. become more serious. The problem I've discovered is that a lot of women in the age group I date (27-33) are resistant to this due to the left-over pain they carry with them (the proverbial "baggage") from previous failed relationships or marriages. Rather than take a risk by pursuing a relationship, they prevent it from progressing any further to avoid any emotional pain that might result if it fails.

Is this a common problem men my age (late '20s, early '30s) experience (and should continue to expect to experience in the dating world), or am I just being a wuss and need to get over it by dating younger women with less baggage? Is there a way to employ the C&F routine to make these women overcome their indecision and want to be with you?

David D. >>>My Comments
Well, as much as I avoid "Relationship" questions, I just have to comment on yours.

First of all, I believe that most guys would prefer to be in a relationship with a great woman, over being single, any day.

The problem is that amazing women are as rare as amazing men. If you really want to make a woman become attracted to you, then you might want to try to turn these attraction moves on their head.

Stop looking for a relationship.

If you communicate that you want a relationship, the natural response is going to be for a woman to play 'Hard To Get'.

If you do the playing of the 'Hard To Get' and you hold off on showing the "relationship" level of interest, you'll find that the woman will pursue the relationship with you, making the obvious moves towards you and letting you increase the interest level of the woman by your responses.

Think about it.

***Question from a newsletter reader***

Hey Dave,
I like your newsletter and I really enjoyed your books. I have one problem I hope you can help me with.

My sister, who is a socialite and seems to have a ton of really attractive friends, has this one friend. She's one of my sister's best friends and is my age. The woman is incredible, definitely a 9 or 10. She's got this really sweet personality, but also goofy at the same time. I know she's dated pretty boy models and NHL hockey players before, but I know she's not too superficial inside, since she broke things off with them after she was unhappy.

So even though I'm probably a 6 or 7, I think I may have a shot, as I've heard she's recently single.

Anyway, my problem is that I have absolutely nothing I can bust on her about. I don't know her well enough to rag on those ex-boyfriends or anything. Most of our conversations revolve around our mutual admiration for my cat. So any past encounters we've had have been in the bad 'wuss' mode. What would be your approach to this situation?

David D. >>>My Comments
Say what?
You have "absolutely nothing" you can bust on her about?

You really need to get a couple of books on comedy, my man. What color hair does she have? If it's blonde, learn some blonde jokes, if it's brunette, learn some brunette jokes.

Is she tall? Bust on her height. Is she short? Bust on her vertically challenged-ness.

And by the way, what's with the cat?

Don't even get me started on the jokes you can make about her being more interested in the pussy than in you. I could write a book of lesbian jokes based on your one-paragraph email alone and I've never even met this girl myself.

Are you starting to get the picture? Get rid of your self-imposed blocks and start busting on her!

***Question from a newsletter reader***

I bought your Double your Dating ebook and I have been able to successfully use your methods.

Last night I picked up this girl at a lounge by accusing her of being a liar. I struck up a conversation and started doing the small talk thing (no wuss topics). I then ask her about her age, she leaned over and whispered in my ear that she was 20 years old. I heard her loud and clear. But when she turned her attention elsewhere I ask one of her friends that she was with (who was also very hot) if the girl I was speaking to was really 26 years old, (all at the same time giving of the impression that I wasn't really convinced). Surprised, she turned to her friend saying "You told him you're 26?". I then of course accused lying so that she could have a better chance of hooking up with me. I then proceed to tell her how often girls do this to me and how she would have a much better chance with me by simply being herself.

The boys I was with at this point were cracking up. This was all done in good fun and in a funny and cocky way, the girls knew I was joking but at the same time they were not 100% sure, this really played on their curiosity.

My Question: Should I make eye contact with a girl before talking to her or should I just make her feel like she doesn't exist first and then proceed to hitting on her? Also is it bad to stand at the bar and check out the women? Does this make you seem needy? In other words what's the best way of working the room before I start to talk.
thanks. CA

David D. >>>My Comments
Another masterpiece of Cocky and Funny. This is great, I can feel more and more guys are getting it.

And about eye contact. Eye contact is very powerful.

I recommend that if you make eye contact with a woman, keep it until she looks away. By the way, this is a great exercise. Just go out and make eye contact with as many women as you can and keep it until they look away.

If you're already talking to a woman, you're going to have to work with the situation. In some situations, you're going to want to be aloof, and in some you're going to want to be intense.

Just remember not to look away because you're nervous or afraid. Women can detect weakness very quickly, and they turn off like a light switch when they do.

If you want to "check out women", just make sure you don't look like a loser that has no life and is planning to use the images you're taking in for future solo fantasy role play.

Don't look desperate.

Women are turned off by guys who have that "I'm not worthy" look and they're turned on by guys who have that "You are interesting to me, but not so much so that I'd give blood just to talk to you" look.

***Question from a newsletter reader***

First, I have purchased your "double your dating" from your website. Your book and extra's have enriched my life.

I had a beautiful woman sit down next to me on the train on my ride into work. I could feel she was interested but I was scared. I didn't want to make an obvious come on with so many people around. So I did nothing and missed an opportunity to meet an ultra beautiful woman.

How can I prevent this from happening in the future? How can I discreetly approach a woman in this situation? I'm not interested in becoming comic entertainment for the morning rush crowd.

David D. >>>My Comments
Say what?

You didn't want to make an "obvious come on with other people around"?

What? Did you want to become her friend and shopping buddy, then two years later spring an "I love you" on her in the middle of the girdle aisle while shopping with her as a friend?

Or did you miss the part where I said in Double Your Dating not to hide the fact that you're interested?

You really need to get over this idea that making it obvious that you're not just interested in "friendship" isn't considered bad by women and that if you try to hide it, you're only shooting yourself in the foot. If you want a date with her you have to show that type of interest and use the cocky and funny techniques to your advantage.

And by the way, if you're "not in the mood" to make a woman laugh in front of the morning crowd of strangers, then what are you going to do, charm her with your boring, un-funny creativity?

There's a big difference between what women are "looking for" and what they respond to. Don't let anyone tell you any different. Get over yourself and your low levels of self-confidence. Bust the women you're interested in, practice on the safe women that surround you in daily life and make the mood happen that steers towards her giving you her phone number, email, and the opportunity to meet again.

And, if you're reading this right now, and you're saying to yourself "OK, it's time that I stopped wasting time screwing around, and I got my butt in gear and learned how to meet women", then you need to do yourself a huge favor.

I think I've said enough. It all starts with a simple download of my ebook.

Double Your Dating eBook Find out more about the Double Your Dating techniques for meeting and dating women


...and watch it in action, learn it, and use it.
Talk to you soon,
David D.


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