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This article: Confident, cocky, funny responses are a great way to power through situations that stop most men from being successful.
Dear David,
I just want to say that I've had tremendous success and confidence with
women after reading your stuff... I feel like I understand them so well.
You really do know your sh**! I guess it shoulda been obvious that
teasing women and acting cocky was the way to their heart, as you can
see it happening all over, but for some reason this just never clicked
in my brain, and I always had this delusion that being the nicest, most
sensitive guy she's ever met would make her swoon. Most of these dating
tip books emphasize conversation, and what to talk about with a women..
while that doesn't really matter too much, it's your attitude. Good ups,
man.
Anyway, I have a question. Although I hardly ever fail with women after being enlightened, when I'm first meeting a girl and teasing her and being cocky etc etc (you know the drill), they respond well and seem to be interested in me. However, when I ask for the number, lots (not necessarily most, but a good number) of girls initially say "Oh, my number's disconnected." or "I just moved, and haven't gotten new phone number installed yet." However, when I give a cocky response, or even if i just say "yeah right", they IMMEDIATELY concede and give me their number... and lo and behold, it works. I'm just wondering why they make up those lies if they're going to give in INSTANTLY. I wouldn't think that this was too important if it happened once or twice, but there seems to be a trend here. What's going on?
David D Replies >>>
I'm really glad that you asked this particular question, because it's
hard for a lot of guys to believe that this kind of thing could be real
(or at least so common).
But the fact is, once you really get out there and start meeting women, you start to see patterns. And some of those patterns are quite unexpected. My translation of what you just asked is: "Why do women play games when you ask for their number?"
In response to your question, I'm going to give a two-pronged answer:
1) The psychology of what's going on here.
2) How I deal with this particular situation, and others like it.
THE PSYCHOLOGY
Let me tell you a short story.
A few years ago, I did some work with a guy that had a particularly
interesting technique for hiring people. Here's what he did: After
interviewing people for the position, he'd call back the one he liked
BEST, and say:
"I wanted to call and thank you for applying for this job, but I just
don't think you're the right person for the position"... and then he'd
listen.
If the person said "OK, well thank you" he'd just hang up and call the next favorite one.
On the other hand, if they said "Wait a minute, I am the best person for the position, I'm sure of it" etc. he'd say "Well, tell me more. Why do you think so?"
I actually listened to him do this live on the speakerphone one day in his office with a woman that he had interviewed. Sure enough, when he said "Well, I just don't think you're the right person..." she answered with "Why not? I am the best..." etc.
And, sure enough, he hired her.
The point here is that in a hiring situation, there are usually many people applying. An interviewer needs to have ways of quickly filtering through and disqualifying the unacceptable candidates. And a SAVVY interviewer will have ways of quickly finding the EXCEPTIONAL candidates.
This was a great technique for doing just that. I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this.
I can remember when I first started "walking up" to women and trying to
get their phone numbers. If I had a dollar for every woman that said:
"Why don't you give me yours, and I'll call you instead"
or...
"I don't give out my number"
or...
"I'll give you my pager number"
or...
"I lost my phone and my number is disconnected and the dog ate my
homework and there was an accident..."
I think you get the picture.
Well, one fateful day, probably out of frustration, when a woman started
to give me an excuse, I just looked at her, pointed to the piece of
paper I had, and said:
"Just write it down, it's going to be OK." And, lo and behold, she wrote
her number down.
I thought "No way, it must have been an accident." So I tried it again the next time I got resistance. Sure enough, it worked again.
As a matter of fact, it's worked so well, and so many times that it's my "standard line" whenever I get resistance from a woman. Really.
You'll even find it written explicitly as part of my "3 Minute Phone Number (and email) Technique" in my book Double Your Dating.
THE TECHNIQUE
The long and the short of it is that ATTRACTIVE WOMEN ARE APPROACHED ALL THE TIME. THEY NEED QUICK, EASY WAYS TO FIGURE OUT IF YOU'RE EITHER THE REAL DEAL OR A WUSS THAT GIVES UP AT THE FIRST SIGN OF RESISTANCE.
Hint: Polite men that say "Oh, OK, sorry for bothering you..." or "OK, here's my number, call me..." are not SEXY or ATTRACTIVE.
On the other hand, men that say (Some of my favorites):
"Oh, it's OK... you don't have a phone? That's nothing to be embarrassed about" or "And you expect me to believe that?" in a cocky, funny way instantly telegraph the message: "I'm not a girly-man that gives up easily, and I see through your games. I don't buy it" are VERY ATTRACTIVE. It just says all the right things.
So here are a few things to remember:
1) Attractive women are approached all the time by men, and are
constantly being asked for their number.
2) If you were a woman who is getting asked for your phone number forty
seven times a day, you'd probably make excuses yourself.
3) The excuses and "Why don't you give me yours" type responses weed out
about 95% of the losers that have no spine and no persistence.
4) If you're READY for this in advance, and you KNOW what you're going
to say and do when it happens, AND you don't answer with a lame, needy,
wuss response, you increase your chances of getting the number
DRAMATICALLY.
5) Confident, cocky, funny responses are a great way to power through
these situations.
Of course, if you use my 3-Minute technique the way I've presented it in a past newsletter and in my book, you'll greatly reduce this type of resistance in the first place and you'll know exactly what to do if and when you run into excuses and resistance.
Let's face it: Attractive women get a lot of attention. They're not
looking for a guy that throws himself at her, and then gives up easily.
They're looking for a guy that has all kinds of self confidence, and
sees right through her games... to the point where he disarms her and
walks away with the digits.
Think about it.
And, of course, if you want to learn more about how the female mind works,
plus dozens and dozens of specific techniques to attract women, get
their numbers and emails, get more dates, and take things to a physical
level, you need to download a copy of my book, "Double Your Dating".
You can download it right now and be reading it within literally minutes from right now. Just go here - just follow the 'ebook' link and download your copy. This book and the three bonus ebooks that come with it are the FOUNDATION for success with women. Everything you read in these articles will make more sense once you have read the book.
...and
read it, learn it, and use it.
Talk to you soon,
David D.
{You'll even learn 'The
Kiss Test', when and how to get the first kiss with the woman you're
with.}
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(c) 2010 Robert Lee and Cheerful Attitude Web Design Ltd. and David DeAngelo Inc. All Rights Reserved. By accepting and reading this article you agree that: You understand this to be an opinion and not professional advice, it is only to be used for personal entertainment purposes, you are solely responsible for any use of the ideas, concepts, and content and will hold all harmless. Article may not be reprinted without express written consent of the authors.
