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One of the toughest things a guy is going to do is open up to a girl, say the three magical words that come out when the relationship is going great: “I Love You”.
But when is the time right?
How do you know when she’ll respond likewise?
Do you have to wait for her to say it first?
Many guys miss them because they are concentrating on other things (usually of a sexual nature) and the distraction allows the moment to pass.
Or they fail the test by attempting to pas it by speaking when they shouldn’t.
My advice for you, and most other guys, is to solidify the relationship
first by accomplishing the following stages before you utter the life
changing vow of “I Love You”:
1. You have met and get along with her friends well
2. You have met her family and, for the most part, they like you
3. You have met her at her work and received a positive response from her co-workers
4. Have decided to not pursue relationships with other women
5. You have stopped telling ‘date stories’ about her to your buddies
6. You realize that ‘the chase’ has not ended yet with her, that there is a lot more to your relationship with her
Whether or not you’ve attained the above goals, the “I Love You” should never be used as part of the ‘dating game’ to get a woman to sleep with you.
Too many guys are ‘on the hunt’ for sexual experiences and if you use those three little words before you’ve decided that you’re done with dating other women, that she is the one, then you’re ending the game just a little early.
Opening up to such an extent is just plain stupid. She’ll see through your manoeuvre.
And you’ll be forever marked as a player once she becomes your ex-girlfriend, should you cross this line by using that line. (Unless you move far, far away from her to a place where the next women you meet can’t possibly run into her.)
If you are into meeting and dating other women, because there really is nothing wrong with dating other women so long as the girls know this is what you’re doing, then watch your words. And emails, Instant Messages and phone calls. You cross that line and you could find life very uncomfortable.
How to open up to a woman is by taking baby steps on the relationship
road. Start with:
1. Memories of great, inspiring moments of your life
2. The individual growth plan you find that life has for you, career-wise and personally (for example, where you will be in five years time)
3. Things you want to do before it’s too late
Opening up to a woman, showing her the man inside, rather than the sex-addicted little boy, is the right step, when the time is right and you know it’s right.
Let’s explore this a little more with a recent email I answered:
I have to admit first off that I'm a recovering wuss.
I took a few months off of chasing women and worked on my inner game, as you suggest, and have had great results.
I've started talking to new women again, along with old girlfriends. I find that when the Cocky & Funny starts rolling, or even just because my newfound confidence due to you, I get a lot of positive response from women.
What would you say to a girl who compliments you directly?
Should I address it in a cocky way? I'm assuming that graciously accepting the compliment is never the right answer.
What should I be saying to the women that I’ve been seeing regularly,
they seem to get so clingy and possessive?
You know, these are really great questions.
One of the most important things to understand as a man is what to do when things are working so you don't get ahead of yourself and screw things up.
If you use the materials that you're learning from me, you will start to have a better sense of the steps to take and the open approach when women will start to do and say things that clearly indicate that they like you.
Sometimes a touch, sometimes a compliment, and sometimes a smile. But these things will happen more and more as you get better and better at being more confident and expressing your style of cockiness in a funny and attractive way.
I always laugh to myself when I bust a woman's chops really hard, and she laughs and says "You're so funny!" or "You really are good!" etc.
Now, when a woman does something that signals "I like you", it is
extremely important that you:
1) Know how to recognize it
2) Don’t do what most other guys would do
3) Do the right thing, and create an atmosphere around it
So how can you tell if a woman is doing something that says "I like you"? Of course, it’s her body language that speaks the loudest.
Women are far more subtle than men (most of the time, that is) in expressing their attraction. If a man is interested in a woman, you can see it all over his face. He’s a circus clown beaming her for attention.
Women are different. Women do things in small steps. A tentative touch. A sly smile. Sometimes a comment like "You're so cute".
Women always seem to act like they're not quite sure. They don't send consistent signals that most men can "read". And when they do send signals that are easy to see, most guys respond in a way that makes those signals stop, which makes things even more confusing.
Again, women aren't as consistent as men in showing their attraction. A woman can seem like she's interested one minute, then behave unadmiringly the next.
Unfortunately for most guys, they take "I like you" signals to mean "You've won my approval, now you can do whatever you want".
Then they turn into dorks, say or do a few stupid things, and destroy all the positive vibes. Oh, how many times I've watched guys (and I’ve done it myself) ruin perfectly good situations because they just didn't get this concept.
Women know that they're in control of the situation. And at least most of the time they are and they think that they are even during the times when they're not.
Us guys act predictably most of the time.
And women know how to tell if you're just another loser who's pretending to be cool, who will turn into an average Wuss at the first sign of attraction from a cute woman.
It's the tension that makes her feel it and say it. The tension!
OK, so let's talk about the right way to handle this situation.
If you're out with a woman, and you tease her because she's wearing four inch heels by saying "What's the deal, are you four feet tall without those one?", and she opens her mouth with the classic "Oh no you didn't" look (smiling of course, with that surprised smile)... and you dial it up to the next level with "Oh, I'm sorry...Four foot three?"... and she hits you on the arm...
And then she stops, puts her hand on your arm, and says "You know, you're funny"...
What do you do?
You let her lead and you bust on her. If you keep amplifying the tension and attraction at each of these wonderful moments, good things will happen. Good stuff.
And if you’ve reached the stage, many dates later, when you’ve decided to get a little more serious, keep your mouth shut!
As soon as you turn back into that wussy you used to be, you’ve lost her.
Trust me, she’s gone!
Let her lead the “romantic words” and you’ll remain the guy she was initially attracted to.
Only put yourself out there if you want to lose her.
Sure, in another twenty dates, after you’ve been made an “honorary son-in-law” you’ll have the freedom to remain as yourself and still become the romantic guy.
But you’ve got to get to that stage first. You’ve got to agree with the six steps I wrote about earlier in this article.
And now you’re better prepared for meeting, attracting, dating and even getting serious with women.
OK, I have a question for you:
Do you want more awesome ideas like this one?
What if I told you that there was a place you could go and download an eBook that contained literally dozens of great ideas like this one? Well, there is. Of course, it's my eBook "Double Your Dating". Inside, you'll learn about all of my personal favorite techniques for dealing with all kinds of situations with women.
This might sound a little strange, but I actually read my own book to brush up on concepts, and remind myself of how to handle different situations. It took me a few years to learn, test, refine, and organize all of the awesome techniques that are included, and you'll understand why I speak so highly of it when you go and get a copy.
...and watch it in action, learn it, and use it.
Talk to you soon,
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(c) Robert Lee alovelinksplus.com, and David DeAngelo Inc. All Rights Reserved.