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This article: "When she wants you to prove yourself to her it really means she wants to know that you hold her in value, not just a catch for the night."
Newsletter Mailbag Article:
If you're getting "hot and heavy" with a woman you've just met, and she starts saying things like "I don't do this kind of thing with someone I just met" or "this is moving fast" it doesn't mean that she's not enjoying it! And it also doesn't mean she wants to stop.
Often, women just aren't used to getting physically involved with a guy so quickly, and their self image is telling them that this is unusual.
If you want to make light of the situation, just stop kissing and say "OK, well then let's just be friends". After she opens her mouth with a shocked look, then KISS her again.
When you hear a woman say "this is moving very fast", just realize that you're doing the RIGHT things, not the wrong things. "I don't usually do stuff like this with someone I've just met" usually translates into "But I'm about to do it now".
IMPORTANT NOTE: If a woman ever asks you to stop, pushes you away, or indicates that she does not want to continue directly, then by all means stop. Never force yourself on a woman. If you do, you're a dumb ass and deserve all the love and affection you'll be getting from BUBBA, your new pen-mate.
***QUESTION***
David your stuff is great! I have REALLY noticed a difference in myself over
the past few months. I always used to worry about what I should be saying to
a woman or how I should be acting around her. Now, after reading your book
it's like I have been baptized to a new life filled with women and fun. I'm
seriously considering getting your CD Audio series soon. I have a question
that I think many guys out there would like answered. When you are around an
attractive woman, should you restrain all signs of being attracted to her? I
have talked to some women about this and they tell me that sometimes they
need to know if a guy is interested. I have also read that your attraction
should never come into play around a women and you should focus on her's. So
I'm a little confused on the matter. I'd
appreciate any advice.
C.P. St. Louis, MO
David D's Reply:
I personally think that you need to restrain all of your outward signs of "Ohmygod you are so hot. I would walk a hundred miles across a hot desert with no water just for the opportunity to have a date with you."
It makes you look like a Wussy in most cases.
If you're flirting with a woman, keeping the conversation interesting, using Cocky & Funny, and generally doing all the right things to create ATTRACTION and SEXUAL TENSION, then she'll KNOW what's going on without you having to "let her know".
Trust me.
***QUESTION***
Hi Dave,
I have had your book and been reading your newsletters for about 8 months now. I have just recently made a commitment to write down my interactions with women. I use your "Bridges" article as an outline of my interactions with women writing out each detail of how I approached her, getting digits,etc... However, I am kind of stuck on the first couple of "contacts" when talking to them like here is an example I wrote email to this girl
I said "what are you playing hard to get already, I know your not that busy".
A few days later she replied by saying "actually I am pretty busy and oh I always play hard to get"
Now, I am totally confused about what I should say back. I know it should be something cocky and funny but I just don't know what would be something good to say back. If you could just give me some suggestions I would really appreciate it. I am working hard on all the stuff in your book so please give a hard worker who's trying everyday some love ok? also I was just needing some topics of conversation I can talk about with her too. I know you have answered this question before but I just need to hear some suggestions in my situation ok? again your a truly a pioneer in this art.
thanks,
CC
Birmingham, AL
David D's Reply:
Some LOVE?
What are they teaching you down there in Alabama about how to ask for favors from other guys?
You're doing fine here. Just respond like so:
"Oh, you always play hard to get, huh? I guess we'll just have to see how you good you REALLY are. Now clear your schedule, because I'm FAR more interesting than anything else that you could possibly be doing."
Do you feel the music?
This is fun, challenging, and cocky all at the same time.
Oh, and stop confusing "your" with "you're". It's OK to bend the rules of the English language, but not when it's obvious that you don't KNOW the rules. I obviously twist and distort the rules often, but it's obvious that at some point in my life I actually knew how the rules worked!
***QUESTION***
Hey Dave,
I have been reading your stuff (ebook & n/letters) for a while now and have been enjoying some new experiences. Although I think your stuff is bang-on, I am still having a lot of trouble. I am a pretty shy, quiet, introverted type of guy and as such, have never had much success with women. I am 31yrs old, pretty decent looking , fit/active, gainfully employed, etc so don't have to worry about that stuff. But as you so often mention, that's not what really matters anyway. I can get phone #s, get 1st coffee dates and often 2nd dates but when I try to take things to the next level, that's where it usually ends.
When I first go out with someone, she seems quite interested at first but that seems to fade fairly quickly as if I am doing something to turn them off. There's always lots of "awkward silences" and "talking about the weather". Its always like she seems bored and I'm struggling for things to say/talk about which usually ends in her hitting the road. I did used to be overly "nice" and "wussy" but have started doing that way less now yet something still lacks. I really have a hard time with the whole teasing/flirting/ C&F stuff you always go on about. Which is probably the trouble, eh?
How do I overcome this and start incorporating this stuff into my dating when it seem so unnatural to me? Also, I am somewhat inexperienced sexually which occasionally concerns me... how can one prevent that from getting in the way of success ? I hope you can answer my questions as I'd really appreciate your help. Thanks and keep up the good work!
AB, BC Canada
David D's Reply:
Well, the first thing I want to point out is that at some point in your life EVERYTHING felt unnatural to you.
This is just another skill you're going to need to learn. Don't let the idea that you've been shy up until now lead to a mental block about the issue. Just get out there and practice and work with the materials.
Next, it's probably a good idea for you to start ONLINE.
Get an AOL account or some free instant messenger account and start messaging women to chat. Chatting online gives you time to consider what you're going to say, and it keeps distractions to a minimum. There's no body language to deal with, etc.
Every day, take some time to read the sections in Double Your Dating on
humor and being Cocky & Funny, and then get online and practice.
Finally, you really need to make friends with a couple of guys who are good
with women, and WATCH what they do in person. You'll learn a lot by
combining what you've learned with the real-world experience of watching
guys in person who are skilled at attracting women. This combination should
help you get up to speed much faster.
Of course, I also teach many, many ways to tease, use Cocky & Funny, and flirt with women... including all of my personal favorites. As you can imagine, this is basically priceless.
If you haven't downloaded my online eBook "Double Your Dating", then you need to get your ass in gear and do that right now. Go download your copy here... you can be reading it in literally a few minutes from right now on this page, just follow the 'ebook' link and download your copy. This book and the three bonus ebooks (Bridges, Lover and Provider, Sex Secrets) that come with it are the FOUNDATION for success with women. Everything you read in these articles will make more sense once you have read the book.
...and read
it, learn it, and use it.
David D.
{Join my free newsletter and you'll even learn about 'The
Kiss Test', when and how to get the first kiss with the woman you're with.}
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(c) 2012 Robert Lee and Cheerful Attitude Web Design Ltd. and David DeAngelo Inc. All Rights Reserved. By accepting and reading this article you agree that: You understand this to be an opinion and not professional advice, it is only to be used for personal entertainment purposes, you are solely responsible for any use of the ideas, concepts, and content and will hold all harmless. Article may not be reprinted without express written consent of the authors.
