David D.'s Dating Advice
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***Question***
David,
First off, let me say that your newsletters and E-Book are awesome. They
satisfied nearly every inquiry I have had in regards to getting started
with women. Needless to say my success rate has gone through the roof! I
will be ordering the audio series soon. ...Which brings me to my
question. This is a complex one, with story behind so please bear with
me.
Here goes:
I am recently single and jumped back into the dating game. One of the
first nights I went out as a single man, one of my female friends and I
kissed on a bet. I did not know of the bet, but I thought nothing of it
after I found out. Although the girl that had kissed me was attractive,
i had no feeling for her, just as I thought there was no feeling on her
side. We will refer the this girl as Girl A. We saw each other a couple
more times, with added intimacy but left things on a very strictly
emotionless basis. She had commented that she did not want me getting
attached, and Ireminded her that there was no cause for her to worry.
Some days later, hanging out in a bar with the same group of friends, I
employed some of your most valuable tactics and met Girl B. Things were
much different. I was very attracted to Girl B and I felt as though I
had her attention as well. We talked at the bar, and as it turns out she
is very good friends with some of my other female friends. We all ended
up back at a friend's apartment, and Girl B and I sat on the couch, and
talked for hours. We eventually decided to stay over and sort of fell
over. We made a week attempt at sleeping and ended up kissing and
holding each other all night. It was everything that I wanted to happen.
Because I am a gentleman, I did nothing more than kiss. I felt chemistry
and did not want to rush things. Besides, the anticipation is fun!
The very next weekend, there was a party at the same apartment. Both
Girl A and Girl B were present. Needless to say I paid attention to Girl
B. Contrary to my original thoughts, Girl A did not like this. Towards
the end of the night, girl A made a scene and called me out to discuss
this. After clearing up the problem, I went back looking for Girl B, but
did not find her. I was advised that she was on her way to the car. I
caught her on her way to the car and asked her if i could talk to her.
after an explanation of the situation, and assurance that girl A is out
of the picture, she gave me her phone #s and that's how we left it.
Since, Girl B has been reluctant to return calls and get together. A
situation that had worked great from the start is now compromised by
someone else...
How can I win back the affections of girl B. I felt a connection with
her, and would love to get back on the right track. Our mutual friends
have not been of assistance so far. I try calling, but I feel as though
if I called as much as I'd like to I'd look like a wuss. I have had no
problem with setting up mystery. I drive a hot car, play semi pro
sports, and use these things carefully and only discuss when asked.
Don't want to look too arrogant! What else should I try, or how should I
act to achieve the desired result? I know getting another girl, or even
flirting in front of her, while not impossible would kill any chances...
While "Cocky and Funny" got my foot in the door, I don't know if it is
right for the situation.
Your Thoughts...
E.
David D. >>>My comments:
Your email is profound. There are many lessons that can be learned from
it, and I want to point out a few of them...
The first one is that jealousy can actually lead to love.
This situation where girl A didn't have any "feelings" for you until she
saw you with girl B is the RULE, not the exception. If your significant
other breaks up with you, one of the best things you can do to get them
back is to:
1) Act like you're OK with their decision to leave.
2) Start dating other people and let them know about it.
This combination alone is usually enough to make them come back to you.
Jealousy is powerful.
It's far more powerful than most people suspect. Jealousy causes people
to do crazy things and feel very powerful emotions... from love to hate.
Your mistake in this situation was this:
When girl A "made a scene and called you out to discuss the situation"
you went with her.
If I was in that situation, I would have just looked at her and said
"You might want to consider acting like an adult here. I'll talk to you
another time." I'm guessing that to girl B you just came across as a
whipped wussy who was cheating on his girlfriend, etc.
Girl B didn't know you long enough to understand the relationship and
have enough invested to feel jealous in this situation.
Ironically, the best thing you can probably do is get on with your life,
and date other women.
And in the future, don't allow a woman to throw a tantrum and control
you and a situation.
Trying to "get her back" is a losing game in most situations... because
the act alone suggests that you're needy (especially when you don't even
know a woman very well, and you're trying to "get her back" after one or
two dates).
The best thing to do is get on with your life, then call her in a month
or two to see if she wants to have coffee.
Don't talk about heavy things, and don't mention anything about what
happened. Just be casual. You've learned a very valuable lesson, so
remember it.
As a side note, I want to thank you for your email, and thank you for
the compliments on my book. Most guys think that if they "drove a hot
car and played semi-pro sports" that they wouldn't need this material...
but as you know, if you don't understand how women and dating "work",
then almost nothing can help you.
...and
by the way, if you're reading this email from a reader right now and you
are wondering how you can take your success with women and dating to the
next level RIGHT NOW, then I'd recommend that you start out with my
eBook "Double Your Dating". In a few hours worth of reading, you can
learn the basics that have taken me literally YEARS to figure out. Just
go to:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/
- just follow the 'ebook' link and download your copy. This book and the
three bonuses that come with it are the FOUNDATION for success with women.
Everything you read in these articles will make more sense once you have
read the book.
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