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Overcoming Shyness With Women

THE DOUBLE YOUR DATING EXPERIENCE

To be more of a presence around people, to stand out and lose your shy identity you have to learn the learn the Cocky & Funny dating technique, the ability to read body language and how you can use these skills to attract women I HIGHLY recommend that you check out my downloadable online eBook "Double Your Dating".

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This article: "If you want to be able to approach women without being shy you need to plan to talk, practice conversations and not let rejection rule your world.

Double Your Dating eBookDear Dave,
You have changed my life forever, my entire perspective on women has changed. I'm looking back on the past and seeing where I've failed horribly and more importantly, why!! And I see why others succeed where I've failed. Your ebook is the bomb!

I've met three beautiful women this week simply by be confident, indifferent, and teasing. People I would have never thought I would ever even have a chance with now look like opportunities to me. Everything you say makes good sense to me and I m really starting to get it.

My favorite one I've used so far.

"Hey hun, that's an interesting dress you have on" "Oh yeah, why is that?" (woman obviously trying to mature and sexy) "Because if you put your hair up into two pigtails you'd complete the "innocent little schoolgirl" look" (I walk off into the bar, but not before I get a sock in the arm, which opens up more comments about feeling a breeze nearby.)
-B
Washington

David D. >>>Comments:

Hey, meeting three beautiful women in one week is better than a sharp stick in the eye...

Unlike a lot of "self help" programs that are just the same stuff re-hashed over and over again, I've put a lot of time, effort, energy, research, and planning into that program to make sure that it was packed with good information. My goal is to have the absolute best materials available for learning how to be successful with women and dating, period. It's obvious that you're really starting to "get it", so keep reviewing and practicing.

And thanks for the email.

***SUCCESS STORY***

Dave,
Okay...what the heck are you the bomb or what? I have been getting your newsletters for about two and a half months now and it was amusing at first because it couldn't have come at a better time (right after a break up). I have to say that the first few weeks had me and I went and finally got the book last week. Read it and tried some of the techniques and man I have to tell you that this must be some cosmic sh*t because it actually works in the real world. Not only online, not only in bars, but everywhere there is a female there can be success!!!

Anyway on to my story, me and a couple of buddies of mine hang out at a local Wing House during the week and have done so before I got the book and your newsletter mail bags. Usually we would mess with the girls that work there with mild success (never any numbers or anything) and if you are familiar with Hooters girls think...hotter.

So after reading your newsletters and getting your book, I started messing and busting on this particular new girl by doing things that before reading your emails I thought would surely piss people off, she would do things like empty the ashtrays and I would put dirty napkins in them, she would be all slow at getting me refills and I would bust on her for not doing her job as good as other girls there, I would catch her looking at me occasionally and I would point at my glass like, "Hellooo...". I was being a total annoyance the whole time!

At the end of the night I left her a nice tip and we ran into each other at the beach about three days later. She told me that when she met me she thought I was a smartass but that "it's attractive". I thought to myself "Holy crap she just admitted to me this stuff works!! The Cocky Funny thing is the shiznit!!!"

Of course I continued to bust on her even then saying that she was lucky I was in a good mood and that she has a cute smile because if it wasn't for that, I would have not even remembered her. So I asked her what she was doing and she said, she was going to Sea World and that I should go with her, she would treat....again, whoah!!! I declined and said that I had some other plans but I was wanting some wings she said for me to come by on her next shift where she would get off at 9 pm. She wanted me to come by at 9 so that we can have some drinks after her shift!!! Man I can't say enough how easy this stuff was to implement!!! And it works like a charm.

When me and my group of friends left the beach she ran up to me (looking all fine in her bikini) and gave me a big hug and a kiss on the lips...you have to understand, this chick is a 9 easy!!!! Man I had a damn "colgate" smile all the way home that day and still do to this day.

You is the man, and you have no idea how nice it is to have this sort of confidence now, well wait, I guess you do huh?
LOL.
Much Gratitude Bro!
A. from Orlando.

David D. >>>Comments:

Yea, you suck... and your friends hate you. Well, so be it. I'll tell you something, I know exactly what you're talking about when you say that this girl told you that you were a smartass, but that "it's attractive". The things that make women feel attraction are not exactly "logical" at first glance.

In fact, some of the things that can cause a women to feel a powerful sexual attraction for a man are things that most guys wouldn't "accidentally try" in a million years. I can clearly remember one night I was out with a good friend who was trying to show me a few things about how to meet women...

We were talking to two cute girls... and he was "taking the lead". I couldn't understand what he was doing. He was acting arrogant, making fun of them, being difficult, and doing all kinds of things that I would never do. Of course, he wound up inviting the two girls back to his house... and they came along with us (and as I recall, they actually drove us home). Again, this made zero sense to me.

He wasn't being "nice" at all. In fact, he was being rather arrogant and fussy. But as I was to learn later, there was something else going on... and the women understood it. There is something very powerful about demonstrating that you're not needy, acting "too comfortable" around women, and even teasing them. It says all the right things, and it triggers something that you can't trigger with "being nice".

One of my favorite jokes to use with waitresses is to wait until they make a mistake, forget something, or even just say "I'm sorry, we're out of that tonight". I shoot right back "Could we get a new waitress please? I'm afraid you're just not going to work out tonight". Of course, I have a very serious face when I say this. It's obvious that I'm exaggerating, so it makes her laugh. It's arrogant, crass, and kind of rude. But it's also damn funny, and it says all the right things.
Thanks for your email.

And remember... you suck, and your friends hate you now.

***QUESTION FROM A WOMAN***

Dear David
First I would like to say that your writings are the most interestingly, funny, theories I have ever read. As being a female reader,...something has piqued my curiosity to the fullest extent. Firstly, I have noted that all whom seek advice and comments from you, address you by your first name, a very informal approach to addressing another with any type of degree in the field of psychology. Another comment of yours, that actually piqued my curiosity is that you assist others "to develop that or their innate or natural part of themselves that is already there."

My question is if a part of another is "innate" that means that it is a natural inborn part of them, so why would anyone need help with being whom they are?? Secondly, ...being a layman, ... I don't understand how one could give others advice, ...on how to do anything, unless one has walked in their shoes so to speak. I would also like to know if you are certified in the field of Psychology or are you a motivational speaker, ... being either, you would have to have complete knowledge of the subject, and therefore, ...if you are a Dr. in the psychology field, ...Wouldn't you want to be acknowledged as such?
M.C.
New York

David D. >>>Comments:

LOL... now this is good comedy. OK, let's start by making fun of your first comment... Look, even if I had 10 Ph.D. degrees, I would still insist that everyone call me by my first name.
Hellllooooooo...
This is the year 2006, OK?
Would you prefer it if I insisted that you refer to me as "Mr. David D. Sir"? Hey, that doesn't sound half bad. OK, on to making fun of more of your comments...

Let's just reprint what you wrote, word-for-word:
"Another comment of yours, that actually piqued my curiosity is that you assist others "to develop that or their innate or natural part of themselves that is already there." My question is if a part of another is "innate" that means that it is a natural inborn part of them, so why would anyone need help with being whom they are??"

Come on, smarty...

You don't know the difference between "developing an innate or natural part of yourself" and "being who you are"? Look, if you go to the gym and work out, you will develop a part of yourself (muscles, respiratory system, etc.). Now, you can also do this while doing an impersonation of Bozo The Clown, which, technically, would be developing a part of yourself while not "being who you are".

I love confusing explanations like the one I just made up. OK, let's try another...

Dr. Stephen Pinker of MIT has written a book called "The Language Instinct". Now, this is a pretty smart dude. Pick up one of his books and read a few pages if you'd like to understand just how sharp he is. He believes that humans come "pre-wired" with a an "innate" mechanism for speech. In other words, we have the wiring from birth. Now, if you grew up in the woods with no other humans around you, and I showed up one day and tried to have a conversation with you in English, would you be able to talk to me?

Duh, no.

In other words, just because you come "pre-wired" with the ability and instinct to learn and speak a language doesn't mean that every person will do it equally well (or even at all). Same goes for men and their success with women. I now believe that "we guys" come pre-wired with the "innate" or "natural part" of us that knows how to be successful with women. But guess what?

Most of us guys grew up in the equivalent of the woods when it comes to learning and developing this part of ourselves. For those of us who never learned how to use the natural talents that we were born with, we need to learn. Once we learn how to use what we have, and we learn how to use our body language and communication to attract women, then we can "be ourselves" all we want. Until then, no amount of "being yourself" is going to work. I'd go on to make fun of you in a more detailed manner, but time's a wastin', and I've got others lined up to take verbal abuse from me...
Oh, and I have walked a mile in the shoes of "no clue about women". More like a mile a day for about 27 years of my life, to be exact.

***QUESTION***

Hi David!

I've bought your book only a few months ago so I'm just a beginner. I can't give you success stories yet. I met a bisexual women on a dating site. She lives nearby (about 5 minute walk!). I started a conversation and at first she seemed interested! My strategy was to meet as soon as possible because of the short distance. I asked her if she liked to have an ice-cream in the park. She said no. I gave it a rest for a few weeks, and then started writing messages again.

I think I became too personal at some point and she responded: "I don't know what you mean, I'm totally uninterested, leave me alone, thank you.". After that I still had a small conversation and she wrote back a few times. She was not angry, and as a reason she said she had contacted some other guys and she wanted to do fun things with them (but I think it was something else).

My question is. Could she just be saying "give me some time"? My idea is, that if she says something like that, I should leave her alone completely. But would it hurt to send a message, maybe a month or so later? How would you get attraction going on after this?
R. from Europe

David D. >>>Comments:

OK, well I have a hard time believing that you've read my book... because you obviously need to read it again. If I were you, I'd reread it every few days until something changes in the way you look at these situations. Ice cream in the park?

Huh?

Is that in "Chapter 17: How To Be A Dork"? Maybe I forgot about that part of the book. Look, you need to pay closer attention to what I'm saying, and quit trying to improvise with the bisexual babes on the internet. If a woman doesn't respond to you initially, move on.

Get over it. Especially on internet dating sites.

There are millions of women on these sites, so just get on to the next one. Try a few of the ideas that I mention in my book in your responses. Place an ad of your own, or several. Notice what works, and keep doing it. And let me do a little translating for you. When a woman says:

"I don't know what you mean, I'm totally uninterested, leave me alone, thank you."
...what she REALLY means is:
"I don't know what you mean, I'm totally uninterested, leave me alone, thank you."
Thank you.

***QUESTION***

Dear Dave,
What else can I say but you are the sh#@. I read your book and it changed my life.

I went from almost never talking to women at all, (and when I did I would just say wussy remarks) to being the local mack daddy complete with pimp cane and feathered hat. I went to visit my cousin in Ohio recently and we went on a double date.

Apparently he had been working on a girl for some time and she just brought a friend for me. The whole night I was busting on both of the girls. It got to the point where the girl my cousin was with started flirting and touching me a lot along with the girl I was with.

You just have to look at the situation and find something to make fun of. Its just like when you're a kid and you don't really care about what other people think, you just say what's on your mind. Well, anyways we went out to a movie the next day and I just kept laying the cocky and funny on her. She started touching me in the movie and stuff and long story short it ended up with me having sex with her.

And this was a girl I had only met a few days ago. The hardest part for me was overcoming the care of what other people think and situations that would probably not happen (her getting offended, etc.) I am a huge fan of your book and newsletters. It seem like whenever I have a question about something you do a newsletter on it.
Thanks for everything.
C.P.
St. Louis, MO

David D. >>>Comments:

Yea, well Pimp Canes and Feather Hats are optional. They are not absolutely necessary. Good job with the materials, you obviously get it.

And it's true... one of the main things that us guys need to overcome is this whole idea of caring what other people think. It doesn't matter what other people think. The only thing that matters is what happens as a result of what you do.
Great job, and thanks for the email.

***COMMENTS FROM A WOMAN***

Hi, I just wanted to let you know that I wish more guys would listen to your advice. I am a very attractive young lady and have guys hitting on me all the time. There is nothing intriguing about the person who immediately lets you know how happy or surprised they are that you even talked to them. If they put the girl up too high on a pedestal, it just makes the guy completely expendable because obviously the girl can "do better" (at least in the guy's mind).

Please keep giving advice and guys, please listen... It works.
M.

David D. >>>Comments:

Exactly. I like the way you explained this...

"There is nothing intriguing about the person who immediately lets you know how happy or surprised they are that you even talked to them."
Nice. You know, I should start a "David D. Fanclub", and only let women join. Of course, it would be very expensive...

***QUESTION***

I have said this and I will say it again! Man, your stuff is excellent! By far the best I have ever read, or heard! I can tell why this was your calling! Today, I attained 3 e mails/phone numbers from 3 very attractive girls in one day! That's definitely a record for me! Once I listened to your lesson about creating my own reality, I feel like I can just walk up to any girl I want, and know that I will do a good job socializing/flirting with them, whether they are responsive to it or not doesn't mean anything to me, because it's their problem, not mine.

This one particular case, I was with this girl that I've been talking to for a while, and we went down to a church hangout because I had left my bookbag in there from the night before we went down there. Well, she offers to drive me down there and I take the offer (btw - I bust on her about her car that she adores so much all the way down there and she loves it). Anyway, by the time I get down there with her, I find my bookbag, and we stay down there and talk with some friends for a bit.

Well, it turns out that about 2 other guys are hitting on her and flirting with her, so I just sat in the couch and started talking to another girl. Anyhow, I notice that these guys are flirting a little bit differently from the way I do it. I almost never compliment a girl when I'm flirting with her, but these guys did. I'm wondering, does the compliment hurt or help? Various dating coaches everywhere tell me different answers, but I know yours will be the right one. So is it good to compliment girls, or is it bad?

David D. >>>Comments:

Nice!

Three emails and numbers in one day... that's not too shabby, my friend. I can remember not-too-long-ago in my life thinking that something like this would be impossible. But, as you obviously know, it's not at all.

To answer your question about compliments...
If you have zero game, then showering a woman with compliments will work better than nothing.
But think about it...
If you walk up to a woman and start giving her compliments left and right, what is she going to be thinking? Right.
She's going to think to herself "Yea, this guy is obviously into me big time. I own him." There's no mystery, no challenge, nothing interesting at all.

It's what every guy does. And it's usually perceived as boring and predictable. Now, there are ways to give women compliments that don't give all your power away... but giving a woman a compliment is usually a selfish thing to do. It's using words to try to get something from a woman.

Ironically, even though many of my ideas and concepts appear to be a little on the "cruel" side, they are actually all about giving women what they really want. Look, if you're getting three numbers in a day, then you're on the right track. Your girl may have been smiling politely as the Wussbags were kissing up to her, but who got the three numbers that day?

***QUESTION***

Dave...
I've always been really shy and introverted. And, obviously, it has not exactly worked to my advantage with dating. I've done all sorts of things to get rid of this shyness - I took a job as a waiter, a salesperson, taken public speaking classes, read books etc.. and nothing has worked nearly as well as your e-Book and newsletters!! Thanks a ton - you've given me superior confidence and I owe it all to you.

Now, onto the question...
In addition to being a bit shy, I have also always been a pretty witty, sarcastic guy which really helped when developing a more CF attitude. Whenever I'm talking to girls, I always get socked in the arm or get that that "Oh no you didn't" look. However, I can't approach girls for the life of me. But, once I'm "in there", I just have these girls on a string, like a marionette. What do you say?
Ciao!
DF
Bloomington, IN

David D. >>>Comments:

Well, I can really appreciate where you're coming from on this one. Let me mention quickly that I've really put a lot of time and effort into making my materials "shy guy friendly" and I've focused on teaching things that any guy can use...
even if you're "naturally" very shy.
I've been there.

I can remember times in the past where I've sat looking at a girl for hours... without being able to work up enough nerve to walk over and start a conversation... and then I'd go home and think about it for days. I'm with you. I'm going to give you an idea for how to overcome your shyness and approach women, and then I'm going to give you a recommendation.

Here's the idea first:

Get online and start there.
Go download one of the free instant messengers that are available online, and spend an evening starting conversations with random women online.
I did this quite a bit myself, and it helped me tremendously.
Try different things.
Say "Hi".
Say "You sound like you're probably pretty old".
Say "You spelled a word wrong in your profile".
Say "You're exactly what I've been looking for. Let's get married and drive to Vegas. Are you game?".
In other words, just play around and see what kinds of responses you get.
Of course, don't say anything overly bizarre or vulgar...
the internet cops might take away your internet connection or something spooky. But just learn how to deal with that initial jolt of emotion that you get when you're starting a conversation with a woman that you don't know.

Keep it up until:
1) You can sit down anytime and start a conversation with a woman on the internet without hesitating.
2) You're getting positive responses. (I'm not talking about women saying "Hey hot stuff, come over now!". I'm talking about women just responding by talking to you.)

This will help you to understand that your fear of approaching and starting conversations with women is unfounded. In other words, you'll see with your own two eyes that nothing bad is going to happen to you if a woman doesn't want to talk to you. You'll also see that some women are busy, some are not nice people, and some are friendly and open. Said differently, you'll realize that it's not about you when a woman doesn't respond to you warmly... and it won't hurt you, either. Next, get out into the real world and start making small talk with women... with no intention of taking things any further than that conversation.

When you start a conversation thinking "I want to get that girl's number" it puts huge pressure on you...
especially if you're not comfortable doing things like approaching women.

So chill.

Go to the mall, and walk into every store.

When a sales girl says "Can I help you with something?" respond by saying "I don't think you're qualified to give me the kind of help that I need, but thanks for the offer". If you wind up buying something in one of the stores, ask the girl for a 50% discount.

When she asks why, tell her that it should be obvious...
it's because she thinks you're special.

After you've had fun, walk away. Leave. Don't worry about getting numbers or dates. Just work on starting conversations in "easy" situations (where the women are paid to talk and be nice to you).

Do this three or four times over the course of a few weeks, and you'll start to change how you think about these types of situations. You'll see how women will respond, and it will change how you feel. Finally, remember that it's not necessary to learn how to approach women that you don't know... if you don't want to. There are plenty of situations that allow you to meet women without ever having to "approach" them.

Go check out some dance classes. Try swing or salsa. Imagine being able to:
1) Learn how to dance (which women think is hot)
and...
2) Have one conversation after another as you change partners...

Free weekly Double Your Dating Newsletter. Join here!Now, there are all kinds of places like this where you can skip the "approaching women" step, and just move right into the Cocky & Funny or getting numbers. Put your mind to it, and do a little thinking. Look around. Opportunities like this are everywhere.

Because I really feel that the "natural hesitation" that most men experience around women is rooted in not understanding the situation very well. Once you really understand how and why women feel that emotion called attraction for some men, and not for others... and you understand all the little things that trigger it... you'll start to feel differently. The understanding will give you a "different perspective", and it will not only change the way you see situations with women, but it will also change how you feel in those situations.

...and if you're reading this right now and you haven't taken the time to download your copy of my online ebook Double Your Dating, then you need to do that now. It's the foundation of everything I teach in these newsletters, and it will help make sense of all the different things discussed here...

For more specific techniques and step-by-step systems for becoming all of these things that I've mentioned above, including "overcoming shyness around women", then I recommend that you check out my online eBook.

My eBook "Double Your Dating" comes with three free bonus reports. One of these reports is called "Sex Secrets", and it teaches you how to take things from one step to the next when it comes to "getting physical" with a woman. If you do these things, you will instantly make a woman realize and remember that you are a sexy man. I absolutely guarantee it.

You can read some great free samples, and download it here right now here - just follow the 'ebook' link and download your copy. This book and the three bonus ebooks that come with it are the FOUNDATION for success with women. Everything you read in these articles and my free weekly dating advice newsletter will make more sense once you have read the book.

Double Your Dating eBook Find out more about the Double Your Dating techniques for meeting and dating women

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Talk to you soon,
David D.

 

 

 

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