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Advice: Sex For The First Time For A Guy


This article: "Emails from newsletter members"

We have a lot of ground to cover, there are so many intense questions that need answers so you can move from the "getting to know you" phase into a heavier and more intense physical relationship with women.

*** Dating eSecrets Newsletter Questions ***

Join the free newsletter here.

Double Your Dating eBook***QUESTION***

I have to admit your material is dead on the money. C & F works great, and your analysis of how the female mind works answers a lot of questions I've had.

While I am loath to admit it, I am a 22 y/o virgin. When girls find out about this they almost always ask why? Some girls have even gone as far as to change their minds about sleeping with me because I was a virgin. They claimed that they didn't want to risk giving me a bad first time, but I smell some BS there. I know girls read into everything, so what are they reading into the fact that I'm a virgin and is there any explanation I can give that won't have me looking like a loser?
D.S. Chicago


Wow. I really admire the fact that you're willing to reach out and ask for help. Most guys are so caught up in themselves and their problems that they wind up suffering in silence... and, of course, are worse off because of it.

I'm going to give you an "outside the box" answer for your particular situation (even though it sounds like you've been doing quite a bit of "out of the box" thinking all by yourself... I know, I just couldn't help myself).

Here it is...
Don't talk about it.
Don't "explain" it in the first place.
Many problems in life are ILLUSIONS.
And yours is one of them.
Think of it this way...

Your dad, grandfather, great-grandfather, and so on, all the way back to the first humans figured out how to have sex for the first time. It's not that big of a deal, man. I recommend that you focus on learning how a woman's body works, how to get her turned on and keep her turned on, etc. rather than focusing on YOURSELF... which is what you're doing.

If you can make a woman feel incredible physical pleasure, she won't care if you're a virgin. In fact, she won't ask or even bring the topic up, because she'll be feeling so good that the thought will never cross her mind. It is not your obligation as a person to inform the person you're about to sleep with that you've never had sex before... lol.

Great email...

*** Next Question ***

Hey Dave,

Great stuff. I got your e-book a while back, and it has totally changed my attitude and approach towards women. It’s helped me tremendously in meeting and talking to them. I can’t wait to get your advanced series. My dilemma is is that I’m only 5-2, I weigh 120 lbs., and I’m balding, to top it off (pardon the pun). I know from experience that most females will pretty much have nothing to do with a guy as short as I am. On the rare occasion, when I can meet someone who isn’t so worried about height, I have no problem being c & f and making them laugh. But even they seem to not take me so seriously. I even tried my luck online, but again, it’s the rare female that responds to me. Credit to those who do, they usually are a ton of fun to talk to, and could care less how tall a guy is. Any recommendations (short of platform shoes or stilts) on different approaches I could use to change my luck with them, and make them realize that personality’s more important than height?

T in FLA


Yea, my recommendation is that you stop thinking that you have a "dilemma". You have what you have. Calling it a dilemma, thinking of your size as a problem, and trying to figure out "tricks" or techniques to deal with your "problems" isn't the answer.

Do this:
Boldly approach every woman you're interested in as if you're the greatest opportunity she will ever have. Learn how to overcome your own issues with yourself. Stop talking about "luck" as if it's the reason why you're unsuccessful with women. Approach each new woman with an open mind, and realize that every one is different.

Most importantly...

If you are rejected, shut down, criticized, put down, laughed at, or whatever is the WORST thing you can think of, GET OVER IT. You'll get in a car every day without thinking about it, and drive down a road at 60 miles per hour, NEARLY MISSING every single car that goes by in the other lane... literally taking your LIFE into your hands... with NO FEAR... but you're allowing your concept of how women are biased against you IMMOBILIZE you.

Stop that!

Your whole "I know from experience that woman won't have anything to do with a guy that's as short as I am" thing is BS! I have a friend who's about 5'4" or so who is ALWAYS surrounded by hot women. In fact, a DIFFERENT friend of mine who's also shorter dates some of the hottest women in the world.

Your limitation is in your mind. Sure, women PREFER taller guys ON AVERAGE. But your limiting belief sucks. Get rid of it.


Hey D,

I'm a 20 year old guy, i work in a grocery store and am attending college. I read your newsletters but haven't gotten around to buying your book yet. Anyway, here it is, I use your C&F techniques with women that i meet, get their numbers and email, etc. but when we go out, not like a date, just to the clubs, or parties, or whatever. Most of the time even though i was the one who did everything, the girls always seemed to be more interested in my friends than in me. I don't act to needy or clingy or wuss like (i once was, but after reading some of your newsletters i realized i was being more of an ass than anything). anyway, can you help me out here? later.

T in elba


Well what are you doing, man? You get a woman's email and number, then call her, then get a date with her... then take her like A PARTY? Or even WORSE, a CLUB?


The whole idea of getting a girls email and number is so you can spend more time ALONE with her. If you want to hang out with women at clubs, DON'T TAKE YOUR OWN, dumbass.

Here's my recommendation:
When you're arranging your first date with a girl, tell her to come to your house, and that you'll go to coffee or tea with her from there. Then, when you're finished with your beverages, tell her that you want to show her your new Spiderman comic books. ANYTHING is better than taking a girl to a party, dude.

Stop it!
Oh, and quit being lazy, and download the eBook. It's going to make your life a lot better, and fast. Think women, lots of women, and you...

Double Your Dating eBook Find out more about the Double Your Dating techniques for meeting and dating women


...and watch it in action, learn it, and use it.
Talk to you soon,
David D.


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