This week: "Self-doubt
is a major hurdle for many guys. And once this obstacle is removed your
success with women will increase dramatically."
*** Article of the Week***
Hey Guys,
This week we're going to get into some emailed questions and my answers
about the subject of self-doubt around women. Besides rejection, having
self-doubt around women is the hardest obstacle to meeting women and getting
dates. As people we judge someone quickly based on their appearance, their
body language and their sexiness. And any one of these factors can make a
guy stumble in his approach and fail to get her name, number, etc.
So this is what we'll get
into here:
*** QUESTION ***
Hi Dave,
I've got a few questions for you that I need help with:
1. You always reiterate not being a wuss, but what type of things/actions
should I be saying to act like a man? Should I be cussing my head off in
front of her and threaten with a back-handed slap her owner? (laughing)
2. I was wondering what does it mean when you're in a club/bar type of scene
and a woman is drinking (water or whatever) and she is giving me eye
contact? Is she interested in me or just dick-teasing?
3. Also how cocky should I be, because I don't want to come across as
arrogant? I'm a rookie in the game (18), and I've noticed that women give me
signals (e.g. looking), but my insecurities kick in, and before I make a
move I want to be sure that she's really interested in me, rather than
playing the fool.
Bill
>>>MY COMMENTS:
First answers to your questions:
1) To answer your question about whether to cuss your head off in front of a
woman and threaten with a back-handed slap, (laughing)...
NO. Don't laugh at all while you do it.
2) In response to the "what does it mean when a woman is giving me eye
contact" question...
It means that she's gay.
3) To address your question about how cocky you should be...
You should be exactly 87.234235% cocky. No more, no less.
OK, OK, I should be more gentle with you. I sure wish that I would have been
asking these questions when I was 18.
Maybe I just envy you, and want you to have to go through the school of hard
knocks like I did. OK, enough self-therapy... back to the questions.
Ways to act like a man include (but are not limited to):
1) Holding yourself upright, chest held high.
2) Acting like a LEADER, not a follower.
3) Not looking to others for approval and attention.
4) Demonstrating that you are in control of yourself and your surroundings.
When a woman makes repeated eye contact with you, she's usually signaling to
you that she'd like you to approach her and start a conversation. That's the
"GO" signal. If you hesitate here, then her interest level in you will fall
drastically. One of my favorite things to do is when I've caught her eyes, I
make a gesture for her to meet me away from where she's sitting. Moving her
to a neutral ground area helps me to stand out and her to lose the safety of
her carefully guarded place in the bar.
The right amount of Cocky is the same amount of Funny. You always want to
make sure that what you're saying is FUNNY as well as COCKY. Guys who use
TOO MUCH Cocky come across as arrogant and insecure.
You'll learn a lot as you use this stuff. Go through the ebook again and
re-read chapter 2.
Thanks for your email!
***QUESTION***
David,
Your cd and audio series have done a lot for me, my sex life is almost great
(now I only have 2 girls to sleep with!) One is an "8" and the other one is
a "3" I know she is a monster but what the hell its great to practice and by
the way I am 36 and they are both 22.
Today I was with some friends at a fast food place talking about cars and I
made eye contact with a "9". On the way out I only made a funny comment to
her and she responded very friendly but we left anyway. When I was in the
car I realize how stupid and slow I was.
I hate long letters so here is the question:
How do I program myself to automatically say "Hi" when I see an unexpected
opportunity? (Specially if I am thinking about other stuff) I always think
in a thousand things that I should say when it’s too late.
I know this can be done
because I say "Thanks" when the opportunity appears without thinking or
"Bless you" when somebody sneezes.
The girls I sleep with now where introduced to me by friends in common but I
still have problems picking up women in the street.
Thanks,
Paul
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Hi Paul, you're cracking me up over here!
Your sex life is "almost great"?
And my favorite quote of the day has to be "...and the other is a "3" I know
she is a monster but what the hell it's great to practice...".
Whatever, dude. lol...
The way to get yourself to the point where you start talking to women
automatically is:
1) To mentally practice this stuff every day until you're DOING IT (like you
learned in the CD Audio Program)...
2) To keep DOING IT IN THE REAL WORLD until it's a HABIT.
Look, you've been running around on this planet for 36 years with the habit
of NOT automatically saying "Hi". It might take a few minutes or so to
program yourself with the opposite.
You're doing fine, just stick with it and you'll start to see more and
better results.
And the next time you slip
up and miss an opportunity and have just left the restaurant, bar, mall,
whatever, go back and say to her "My name's Paul. I gotta run but I'd like
to talk with you later. Write down your email address for me!" And email her
the next day. Or if you got her number, call her the next day. Just don't be
a wussy and call her from your cell as you're leaving the parking lot. Don't
fall into any wussy habits, OK?
***QUESTION***
Dave,
First of all, you are absolutely right about the Cocky/Funny routine.
Excellent technique.
I've even "experimented" on
a girl friend of mine. She seems be more flirty around me when I am being
cocky. I have been friends with her for about a year, and I'm trying to hook
up with her.
I know that people say once
the "friendship line" is crossed, there's no turning back. But I'm wondering
if there is anything you can help me with to try to hook up with her. She's
even told me she's thought about hooking up with me, but said it might be
weird because we are good friends. I need help, I really want to get
something going with this girl. Is there something I should do or say to
her? Would it be weird if I all of the sudden just kissed her? Help!
Steve
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yea, I have a great idea. Keep doing what you're doing. It's not impossible
to make a woman that is "just friends" with you attracted to you.
It's just that most guys act like such wussies around their female friends
that it would be easier to turn coal into diamonds than to turn their female
friends into lovers.
And use "The Kiss Test" (the one on the second page of my main website at
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/.
That will keep the kiss from being "weird".
***SUCCESS STORY***
Hi Dave,
A friend got me your books as a birthday present, being that before then I
was pretty pathetic with the ladies, and with me being a wrestler made
it all the more of an insult.
When I did get a
relationship, it would never last more than a week, and nothing would come
out of it. Well, after reading your stuff I realized how much of a wuss I
was. I did almost every wuss thing in the book, not to mention just having a
severe lack of confidence around women.
Just to see what works, I went on one of those picture rating sites. I'll
tell ya, of 3 pictures I ranked from 6.5 to 9.5. The 6.5 one being me as a
well groomed nice guy with a smile and the 9.5 as me a year later in a cast
with a "pissed off drug dealer" look (I'd been missing a season or
wrestling, it was only fitting).
I realized the nice guy
look wasn't working. I also met about a dozen girls on that system and just
practiced cocky and funny on them. I was the one calling the shots, dropping
the boring ones and sticking to the interesting ones, instead of them
choosing whether I was worthy.
The funny part was, they
each started telling me how infatuated they were with me, and telling me
about dozens of guys who piss them off, where each of those guys were doing
things I used to do by nature. Well, after I realized that I actually did
have it in me, I brought it all together and started using it on girls back
at college. I'm currently going out with one of the hottest girls in my
college, and it's you I have to thank for it.
Geoff
>>>MY COMMENTS:
YEA! A guy that actually did the things that I wrote in the book, and found
out that they work.
NICE!
What can I say, other than "keep up the great work"?
Oh, and you're welcome.
...and if you're reading this right now, and you've been thinking to
yourself "OK, it's time for me to finally get this part of my personal life
handled", then YOU'RE RIGHT.
Make yourself a promise.
Just do something to TAKE ACTION, and get to work on it!
As you probably know, I PERSONALLY think that the best thing you can do is
to get yourself a copy of my eBook "Double
Your Dating" and a copy of my Deep
Inner Game CD/DVD program.
www.doubleyourdating.com/deepinnergame/
Both of them include EXACT, step-by-step techniques for meeting and dating
more women starting IMMEDIATELY.
I recommend that you start with the eBook, and then graduate to the
Deep Inner Game Program as soon as you're ready.
You will not find a more effective set of tools for making your dating life
GREAT...
The eBook is here:
www.doubleyourdating.com
The ebook is at my
free-to-join men only website and you can get more information about
when you visit
here.
Your friend,
David D.
Join the free exclusive Double Your Dating men's website here
(c) 2008
Robert Lee and Cheerful Attitude Web Design Ltd. and David DeAngelo Inc. All Rights Reserved. By
accepting and reading this article you agree that: You understand this to be an
opinion and not professional advice, it is only to be used for personal
entertainment purposes, you are solely responsible for any use of the ideas,
concepts, and content and will hold all harmless.
Article may not be reprinted without express written consent of the authors.
http://www.doubleyourdating.com
|
Today's Question