Attraction happens because...
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David D: I'd like to talk about a concept that is rather difficult for most men to "get".
Ironically, it's a concept that's rather easy to understand, but because it's so illogical and "counter intuitive" it's also easy to miss entirely. It's understanding what attracts women sexually.
And what I'm about to share with you took me literally YEARS to figure out... even though it was right in front of my face the whole time.
When I first decided to get this area called "Women and Dating" handled in my own life, I did what I think most guys do... I THOUGHT a lot about it, I READ a lot about it, and I ASKED a lot about it.
I've spent a lot of time studying psychology and human behavior, because it fascinates me... and I figured that all of my understanding about how people worked would really give me an advantage in this quest I had started.
And since I think I'm pretty smart, I figured that this would be something that I'd get figured out rather quickly.
Well, what a humbling experience I was in for.
As I soon learned, it's not easy to solve an illogical problem by thinking about it logically!
In fact, now that I know better, I think that ATTRACTION is rather logical... it's just that how it works is so UNEXPECTED that it SEEMS illogical. But for now, let's just use the term "illogical" because it forces the mind to put aside pre-conceived notions of what "should" happen.
As I was trying to figure all this stuff out for myself (and keep in mind, I had no idea that I would later write a book to help others) I kept running into challenges.
It seemed that every logical thing I did just didn't work in a way that made sense.
One of the biggest mistakes I made was ASSUMING THAT ATTRACTION WORKED THE SAME WAY FOR WOMEN THAT IT DOES FOR MEN.
It only made sense that since men are attracted to looks and sweet personalities that women should be too... right?
So, of course, I tried to work this angle by wearing nice clothes, doing nice things for women, and being the NICEST guy you could ever meet. I was accommodating to the extreme. I would do whatever a woman wanted, and basically accept whatever flaky or manipulative behaviors she used with me.
But since none of that stuff seemed to really help at all, I just kept
coming to the same conclusion:
I MUST NOT BE ATTRACTIVE ENOUGH, GOOD LOOKING ENOUGH, RICH ENOUGH, OR SOMETHING ENOUGH.
I was doing everything I could imagine to be a nice, sweet, great guy... but
women just didn't seem to respond to me in a "sexually attracted" way...
"It must just be me that's the problem" I thought. Well, fortunately for me, I'm not one to quit easily.
I stuck with it, and I finally did something that had a PROFOUND impact on
my personal success...
I MADE FRIENDS WITH DIFFERENT GUYS WHO WERE "NATURALLY" SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN AND I WATCHED WHAT THEY DID.
When I think back now, I think to myself "DUH!".
But it REALLY made a huge difference.
By watching different guys in different situations as they interacted with women, got phone numbers, went out on dates, and even made "physical" moves, I learned a lot.
What really fascinated me was that these different guys, who in many cases didn't even know each other, were doing EXACTLY THE SAME THINGS in many cases.
And the REALLY mind-blowing part was that the great techniques they were using were "no big deal" to them, and therefore had never been organized and taught in the "main stream".
By imitating what I learned from these new friends, and by getting their help, all of a sudden my success began to SKYROCKET. I mean big time.
I went from barely being able to talk to a woman and get her number to
having 3 or 4 dates a week.
It was great.
But there was a problem...
IT STILL DIDN'T MAKE ANY DAMN SENSE TO ME!
Even though I had more "game", and better techniques...
and women were responding better to me, things still didn't "feel" quite right.
I didn't always get the same results when I did things with women. Now, you'll never get 100% consistency with anything in the real world, but it was just TOO inconsistent most of the time. And even worse, women would either fall in love with me quickly or not call me back after the first few dates most of the time.
I knew enough to be dangerous, but not enough to really, really understand what was going on.
Well, fast-forward to now.
In the last couple of years, I've written a book, produced seminars at both ends of the country, released a comprehensive advanced CD/DVD program, and generally spent a lot of time teaching and refining this material.
A major benefit that this has provided me is the ability to explain things better and faster... and I'd like to give you a quick explanation of a CRITICAL aspect of female sexual attraction that, once you understand it, can literally change your life FOREVER with women.
Here's the revelation:
Men are more attracted to physical traits, and women are more attracted to PERSONALITY traits.
Men get sexually aroused and "turned on" instantly at the sight of a young, shapely female body. As a man, you know that this process happens instantly and "all by itself", meaning you don't really have a choice in the matter.
Well, WOMEN get sexually aroused initially and "turned on" when they interact with a man that has certain QUALITIES and PERSONALITY TRAITS.
Women become instantly turned on sexually when they are in the presence of
certain personality traits, just like men become turned on by certain
physical traits... And the good news is that any man can learn these traits
and integrate them into his own personality.
Think about that for a moment.
Men become turned on by what they can see. Women become turned on by what
can NEVER be seen.
And even when it comes to the physical, women are still more interested in the HOW than the WHAT...
It's not as much his body as the way a man holds it and carries it.
It's not as much his voice as the way a man uses it.
Do physical looks, money, fame, power, height, age, etc. play into this at all?
Of course they do.
But they're not NEARLY as important as most men think they are.
If you're tall, handsome, rich, and famous... great. You'll probably have an easier time attracting women. But just watch the tabloids... this can open the door for a guy, but it doesn't at all guarantee that the woman will stay around. There are a LOT of rich, famous, powerful men who still have no success with women.
To sum up...
Attraction is different for men than it is for women. While men are attracted mostly by physical traits, women are attracted mostly by PERSONALITY traits. Women don't decide who to feel attracted to with their logical minds. They "decide" with their emotions, and then make up reasons and rationalize it.
ATTRACTION ISN'T A CHOICE!
This is why some men attract women so well, while others don't... and why ANY man can improve his success with women DRAMATICALLY, no matter what his looks, age, or income.
I want you to think about what you've just read, and pay attention when
you're out watching men and women interact.
Start noticing those things that men are doing to attract women that are related to their PERSONALITIES and their COMMUNICATION with women. You'll see things you've never seen before, and learn secrets that will improve your success with women tremendously.
And if you'd like an introduction to my main concepts and to learn the basics of how to be more successful with women and dating, then go right now and download my eBook "Double Your Dating". It comes with three bonus booklets that are INVALUABLE and CRITICAL to your success with and understanding of women.
...and watch it in action, learn it, and use it.
Talk to you soon,
(c) Robert Lee, aLoveLinksPlus.com and David DeAngelo Inc. All Rights Reserved.