Dating Great! with advice by

Dating The Older Woman

DR. DENNIS NEDER AND KYLIE Dr. Dennis Neder, Author: "Being a Man in a Woman's World"

Hey Doc,
I'm 21 years old and this girl that I've been talking to is turning 28 pretty soon. This girl has been really down on the dumps with personal problems, losing family members, etc. and we've been keeping each other "company" if you will.

I want more than that however. I have a feeling that deep down, she does to. But the age thing comes up every once in a while. So what steps should I take to try to get her to see that we belong together?

First of all, the age issue isn't an issue at all. It's all in how you handle it. I'd suggest that you simply ignore it entirely unless she brings it up. If she does just say, "You know, I don't plan to make an issue of your being older than I am because it means nothing." In effect, you'll have turned this around into the nothing-issue that it is in a single sentence.

What does trouble me however, is that you've become her friend. That's relationship death! Women don't date their "friends" and use the friends-label as a way of keeping you at arms-length. If you approach her for more, she can say, "Oh, I don't see you like that, you're my FRIEND!"

No man worthy of this girl would put up with that. Many men are too scared to actually approach these girls and be something more. They actually think they can "work it from the inside" by being the nice guy and that somehow the girl will fall in love with them and do all their work for them. Let me assure you of this: that is an absolute turn-off to women. Women don't want guys that are too much of a pussy to tell them what they really want; and do you really think she doesn't know what you want anyway?

I wish guys would get this figured out already. Being her friend may very well prevent you from ever being anything else to her. For much more on this please read my FAQ's at my website: and click on "self help".

As to what to do with this I suggest you make a decision for yourself. Are you really going to be this girl's friend or not? If not, then I suggest that you use the "Opening Kiss" technique from my second book, "Being a Man in a Woman's World II". It goes like this:

The very next time you see this girl, don't hesitate even a second. Walk right up to her and kiss her squarely on the lips. Don't make it a little peck like you'd kiss your grandmother, make it a really kiss! Do this before you do anything else.

This is going to help you in many ways, including:
1) You're going to discover exactly what she thinks of you - if you're in the "friend-zone" you'll know it right away.

2) You're going to change any possible friendship into what you really want with her.

3) There's going to be no ambiguity of where you're going.

4) You'll come off as the strong, powerful guy you can be and trust me, she'll be impressed.

5) By putting things out on the table, you both can deal with them - including the age issue - and start building what you really want.

My brother, don't do the friend-thing to yourself. You deserve much better.

Best regards...
Dr. Dennis Neder

Have a love, relationship or man/woman question? I answer all email. You can write to me at for answers.
For more information about my book, "Being a Man in a Woman's World", visit:


Copyright (c) Dr. Dennis W. Neder All rights reserved.



Dr. Dennis Neder


Dr. Dennis W. Neder
Author of: Being a Man in a Woman's World
Dedicated to advancing the arts and sciences of relationships.
Start having the relationships YOU deserve!
Got a love, relationship or man/woman question? I answer all letters. You can write to me at for answers. For more information about my book, "Being a Man in a Woman's World", visit: 
About The Book:

Men and women continue to complain about their relationships. Married or single, the same issues seem to keep coming up.

Many men have trouble meeting women. They might meet them; they just can't get their numbers. When they do get a number, they can't get them to go out. When they do get them to go out, they wind up spending a fortune and getting dumped a month later. Of those that actually do establish relationships, they find them unfulfilling and fraught with the same, consistent, almost predictable problems.

This book began life about 13 years ago. It was directed to the single man looking for love in Southern California. Since then, it has evolved into something similar, but much more broad in scope. It seeks to bridge the gap between men and women by combining an understanding of men's place in today's world of women, communication skills, sales skills, and an organized plan - once and for all. It does this by focusing on the man's core - who we are, by evolution, by education, by society, and by necessity.

Men and women have continued to have the same problems for hundreds of years. It's time to put these problems to rest. We are in a woman-focused time in history. Not that this is bad, but it is one-sided. Men have an opportunity to succeed in their relationships just as they have strived to succeed in their jobs.

It's time for men to take their place. To be the partners that women want them to be. Not necessarily what they say they want, but what they really want - and need! As men we owe this to our women. Women crave who and what we are fundamentally. May the joy of being a man become part of your daily life. May the women in your life find new reasons to love and cherish you. May you begin to get along, communicate, and find your best with your partner. I wish this for you.

Got a love, relationship or man/woman question? I answer all letters. You can write to me at for answers. For more information about my book, "Being a Man in a Woman's World", visit:

aLoveLinksPlus is pleased to feature Dr. Dennis Neder every Thursday with new articles to help men take their place as partners in a women's world.



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