I'd like to begin by saying how much I have enjoyed reading your comments and
responses to the letters. I will buy your book and use it to help my
transition back into the dating world after a 14-year break.
My question/situation is this:
I have been apart from my ex-wife for one year now. I have been dating for the
last 6 months and enjoying the experience of putting myself back out in this
world. Two weeks ago, I met a wonderful woman via email. Our mothers know
each other and we both know many of the same people in our hometown. She is
recently divorced and for about the same time as me. We have made a very
obvious and strong connection through daily email and phone contact. We have
decided to meet in about 10 days when I will be flying out for the weekend.
I am really looking forward to meeting her and seeing if our connection works
as well in person as it does via email. I believe she could be someone that
I would want to spend a lot of time with. She meets my goals for the type of
woman I want to be with and believe that we wouldn't be a good fit.
So, how much do I give away at the first meeting?
Should I play this thing cool, or can I be honest with regards to my feelings
and let her know what is happening with me? Should I give her a nice kiss
(soft, gentle, no tongue) when I meet her at the airport? I believe the
feelings are mutual, but I don't want to rush anything and ruin what could
be a very good thing.
Obviously, I strongly urge you to read, "Being
a Man in a Woman's World".
Not having been in the dating scene for a while, I'll bet you'll find it's a
real eye-opener. You're going to get a ton of things that will help you with
this new relationship including learning communication skills, (something
I'm sure is lacking due to being fresh out of a marriage), building a
"relationship plan", dealing with relationship problems and much, much more.
I'm very pleased for you to be moving ahead, but let me offer this: be careful
with what you give away up front. Despite the issues of the connection you
feel, keep in mind, she's still a woman and has all the hopes and
expectations of any woman of any man. She wants you to be a strong, directed
male figure even if you've been rather emotional and forthcoming over the
phone and via email.
I also strongly urge you to use the "opening kiss" at the airport. There are
many reasons why this will work to your advantage. Here's an article that
discusses this in much greater depth:
Also, don't see this as "rushing". There is no "rushing" involved here. What
you're really doing is staking your territory as the dominant male!
One last thing is appropriate here; if you've been reading my articles you
know how I feel about long distance relationships. I hope you have a plan to
bring her into town (or to move) if things work out because LDR's are rarely
Enjoy the book!
Have a love, relationship or man/woman question? I answer all email. You
can write to me at
firstname.lastname@example.org for answers.
For more information about my book,
"Being a Man in a Woman's World",
Copyright (c) 2003, Dr. Dennis W. Neder All rights reserved.