Dating Great! with advice by

Learn to Kiss, Damn it!

DR. DENNIS NEDER AND KYLIE Dr. Dennis Neder, Author: "Being a Man in a Woman's World"

Dear Dr. Neder,
I have been reading your article on kissing. (

My question is about kissing someone you've just met. As a woman, I find that most guys love to shove the tongue in immediately rather than starting off a kiss slowly. Is it ok to tell them not to use the tongue or will they take that as an insult to their kissing ability and an indicator that you don't want to kiss them anymore?

I find I have to try not to gag when they do this because I don't really like things shoved down my throat. I can't even go to the dentist without gagging! What should I do? I want to enjoy the kiss but all I can think about is how I might gag while I'm being kissed. I really don't like tongue kissing.
Thanks for you help

I'm always amazed at how many people - both men AND women - just don't know how to kiss well. This is what I consider a "dating 101" skill but many people skipped class. Of course, this is likely because they've never been with a good kisser before and don't know that there are certain skills and techniques involved.

It's not an insult to tell someone what you don't want if you tell them properly. If you simple recoil and say "Ewww..." that might be taken as an insult. But if you pull back and say, "Wait a minute, try it like this..." and show them you're effectively saying, "This is what I like..." not "This is what you're doing wrong..."

This same skill translates right into the bedroom. If you don't know how to ask for what you want, don't be surprised when you don't get it.

You might also refer this person to my article so that they can learn this important skill for themselves. By helping to teach this person how to kiss properly, you'll be doing a great service to anyone else they kiss later on. It's an important skill that everyone needs to learn - if only they can find a teacher.

Best regards...
Dr. Dennis Neder

Have a love, relationship or man/woman question? I answer all email. You can write to me at for answers.
For more information about my book, "Being a Man in a Woman's World", visit:


Copyright (c) Dr. Dennis W. Neder All rights reserved.



Dr. Dennis Neder


Dr. Dennis W. Neder
Author of: Being a Man in a Woman's World
Dedicated to advancing the arts and sciences of relationships.
Start having the relationships YOU deserve!
Got a love, relationship or man/woman question? I answer all letters. You can write to me at for answers. For more information about my book, "Being a Man in a Woman's World", visit: 
About The Book:

Men and women continue to complain about their relationships. Married or single, the same issues seem to keep coming up.

Many men have trouble meeting women. They might meet them; they just can't get their numbers. When they do get a number, they can't get them to go out. When they do get them to go out, they wind up spending a fortune and getting dumped a month later. Of those that actually do establish relationships, they find them unfulfilling and fraught with the same, consistent, almost predictable problems.

This book began life about 13 years ago. It was directed to the single man looking for love in Southern California. Since then, it has evolved into something similar, but much more broad in scope. It seeks to bridge the gap between men and women by combining an understanding of men's place in today's world of women, communication skills, sales skills, and an organized plan - once and for all. It does this by focusing on the man's core - who we are, by evolution, by education, by society, and by necessity.

Men and women have continued to have the same problems for hundreds of years. It's time to put these problems to rest. We are in a woman-focused time in history. Not that this is bad, but it is one-sided. Men have an opportunity to succeed in their relationships just as they have strived to succeed in their jobs.

It's time for men to take their place. To be the partners that women want them to be. Not necessarily what they say they want, but what they really want - and need! As men we owe this to our women. Women crave who and what we are fundamentally. May the joy of being a man become part of your daily life. May the women in your life find new reasons to love and cherish you. May you begin to get along, communicate, and find your best with your partner. I wish this for you.

Got a love, relationship or man/woman question? I answer all letters. You can write to me at for answers. For more information about my book, "Being a Man in a Woman's World", visit:

aLoveLinksPlus is pleased to feature Dr. Dennis Neder every Thursday with new articles to help men take their place as partners in a women's world.



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