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Help! My World Is Crumbling!

Author: "Being a Man in a Woman's World"

"As soon as he has you, he'll be totally done with it all and will be moving on to the next hunt. You're never going to land this guy or end all the games."

Dear Dr. Neder,

I met a girl that has been hurt by a lot of guys in her past and I asked her out but I got turned down because she said she wanted to face her studies squarely.

She came back home on Christmas break and I asked her again and we were so close to getting together, but then, she found out I had been flirting with another girl while she was gone to school which she took as something of importance and turned me down again because she couldn’t trust me with her so she said.

I then forwarded messages from the girl I used to mess with who was wondering why I cut her off to her and she didn’t seem to care. I like this girl so much that I'll do anything for her. I even had her meet my parents just to prove to her that I was real but then I think me apologizing when I didn't have to made the whole situation blow up in my face.

I asked her to meet me for Valentines Day. She said she wasn't sure if she's free on that day, then I sent her texts and called since then and got no reply.

PLEASE HELP! I’m lost and I don’t want to lose this girl!


What the hell are you doing here??? Sure, you like this girl so much that you'd do anything for her - expect exactly what you SHOULD be doing! Stop this nonsense right now! What are you, her therapist? Are you trying to make all her boo boos all better? You absolutely CAN NOT do this!

You need to pull your head out and see this for what it really is: she's a manipulative, insecure little bitch! How DARE she turn you down and then get angry for you being interested in some other girl! All this girl is doing is using your own naïveté against you! She's manipulating you to be alone and waiting for her when she doesn't plan to give you any play whatsoever!

This has absolutely NOTHING to do with "trust" at all! It has everything to do with this little bitch knowing she has your balls in a noose and is using it against you!

Stop being her pet and start being a man ready! The reality is that you've probably already lost her by doing all these dumb things! No woman wants to be with any guy that absolutely needs to have her. That's far too much pressure. I don't care what you've seen in romantic comedies! Those are fantasy and this is reality. You're going to need to get distant from this girl! In fact, if she's away at school, you don't have any way of building anything with her anyway until she comes home for good!

Look - I know you're hurting, but this is entirely self inflicted! You need to see that you've LET her manipulate you. You've even encouraged her by jumping through her little hoops. This girl has a serious mental illness and is punishing you for her problems. I suggest you tell her flat-out that if she doesn't want you dating other girls, then she'd better step up and fill in the gaps.

This is YOUR life you're talking about here. You get to decide what you want and what you don't want. As soon as you give that away, no girl will ever be interested in you. It's that very masculine power that women crave. You've simply thrown all of that in the toilet because you think that prostrating yourself is the key to a woman's heart. It absolutely IS NOT.

Best regards...
Dr. Dennis Neder

Have a love, relationship or man/woman question? I answer all email. You can write to me at for answers.
For more information about my book, "Being a Man in a Woman's World", visit:

Copyright (c) 2007-2009 Dr. Dennis W. Neder All rights reserved.
Dr. Dennis W. Neder
Author of: Being a Man in a Woman's World
Dedicated to advancing the arts and sciences of relationships.
Start having the relationships YOU deserve!
Got a love, relationship or man/woman question? I answer all letters. You can write to me at for answers. For more information about my book, "Being a Man in a Woman's World", visit: 

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