Hi there!
I met a girl online, which seemed to be exactly what I'm looking for. I
sent her an email but she didn't respond. Then I asked her why she was
playing hard to get? She responded that she wanted to see my picture
first. I waited a few days and then finally sent it to her. She was very
impressed and responded to my email with great excitement! I sent her a
few text messages and she responded with equal excitement. She gave me
her phone number without hesitation. This is when things got bad. After
our phone call, she seemed a little surprised - because I was not cocky
like in my emails. I told her that she didn't know me well enough yet.
I called her again after this but she was busy and finally called me
back. I told her that I would call her back the next day because I was
busy as now. We agreed that I should call her the next day so we could
talk longer. When I called she was not there and I left a message. I did
not hear from her that day. I called her again two days later and left
another message. Still no response.
Care to give me some advice on this? I was thinking of stopping all
contact with her and feel like she was playing me. Am I taking things
too personally? What should I be thinking about this situation?
Thanks
Hello!
Since releasing "Being a Man in a Woman's World", I have changed my
stance on Internet dating, and strongly recommend against it. Many guys
complain about that perspective and say, "Well, I met 50 women just this
last year!" My question however is: how many of them met your goals
(sex, a relationship, etc.)? They're answer is invariably, "Well, no
one." That's the way it is with Internet dating - it's a great way to
sap your limited resources (time, money, etc.) while only giving an ego
boost to a bunch of women you'd otherwise never give the time of day!
With that said, you have to realize that women receive anywhere from
200-300 responses ON AVERAGE. The cuter ones can receive upwards of a
thousand or more. You, my brother, are just one in a thousand! Why
should she give you any consideration when she has so many other
prospects?
What you interpreted as interest was just her weeding through all of
that. You might have sparked her interest in the first few emails, but
didn't "wow her" on the phone. So, she wrote you off.
Consider this: how much work
did you have to go through just to finally get blown off? You had your
hopes built up only to have her play you. Also consider that women won't
tell you "no". That's not the way they work. They'll let you spend all
sorts of time and effort and then just go into hiding, like this one
did. Then, if nobody else pans out (she doesn't find her Prince
Charming), she MIGHT come back to you, but then, you still just one in a
thousand again!
My best advice is to stick with in-person
pick-ups. They are FAR more likely of success, and you'll be able to weed out
the real women from the posers and Attention Whores.
Best regards...
Dr. Dennis Neder
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