Dr. Dennis Neder,
"Being a Man in a Woman's World"
Dear Dr. Dennis:
I've read a number of your articles where you talk about having "game"
(the ability to meet women, get numbers, etc.) Unfortunately, I don't
have any! I'm more of a home-type person who wants to get out and do
more with life but a lot of times I find it difficult to do.
It seems that I'm at war with myself about
going out! Half of me says to get out and go do something and the other
half just doesn't want to do anything.
Can you help me to put this war with myself on a permanent truce?
I call this "the problem with inertia". Inertia about is that part of
Newton's first law that states:
"A body in motion tends to stay in motion and a body at rest tends to
stay at rest."
"Inertia" is that tendency for a body to be at rest or in motion. Yes, I
know you didn't write to me for a physics lesson, but it applies pretty
well here. Read on, my brother...
Right now, your inertia is to be "at rest". In other words, you're
trying to stay right where you are because that's what you've been doing
all this time. What you need is just a little push in the right
direction. Your own mind is the very push you seek.
In my first book, "Being a Man in a Woman's World" I talk about the
importance of having clear, written relationship goals. Many people
create goals for their lives, but don't bother doing that for their
relationships! What a mistake! Where are you going to spend most of your
time? Hopefully in a happy, healthy relationship!
Something magical happens when you create the right type of goals and
commit them to paper. I'm not going to get into all the science behind
this (whew!) but trust me - it exists and it works.
In effect, having these "right goals" will program your mind into
action. Being clear on what you want, when you want it and how you're
going to go about getting it is 90% of the battle!
Most people set goals like this: they say, "I want to meet a nice
That, my friend, is not a goal - it's a dream. When was the last time a
dream made you go out and do something positive for your life? Answer:
never. That's not what dreams do! Worse yet, it's so vague and
non-specific that the very first person that walks by becomes the "right
one" because everyone is nice! Is that all you want? I hope not - you
deserve much, much better than this.
I suggest you create clear, compelling goals. These goals are going to
spur you on to action because that's just how our minds work. You just
need to invest a little in getting these goals committed to paper. If
you're not sure exactly how to create these goals, check out the book as
it goes into it in great depth along with all the things you need to
consider, creating a plan of action, etc.
Use inertia to your advantage by taking small actions first. Don't let
it ".keep you at rest!"
Dr. Dennis Neder
Have a love, relationship or man/woman question? I answer all email. You
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For more information about my book,
"Being a Man in a Woman's World",
Copyright (c) 2006 Dr. Dennis W. Neder All rights reserved.