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Dr. Dennis Neder: Sex Only Relationships

How to Keep it 'Just Sex'


I have a problem with women – not meeting them – just keeping things as “just sex” and nothing more. Every woman I seem to meet wants the relationship thing.
Any suggestions?


How many men would like to have your problems?

Keeping things “just sex” (without using professionals) involves starting correctly up front. Frankly, most women are more interested in a relationship than just casual sex, but that’s not a rule. There are many women out there who are too busy for a relationship that still want sex. Obviously, these women are your primary targets.

Let’s look at some of the options for sex-only relationships:

One night stands (“ONS”)

Getting ONS’s isn’t as tough as you’d think. There are many women out there that are very good targets, but you have to be sure to have your skills in check. You should read (and re-read) “Being a Man in a Woman’s World II” for details on this – how and where to meet these women, how to approach and how to close the deals. It’ll also give you great information on how and where to work your magic.

Friends (with “privileges”)

I’m sure you know how I feel about female “friends”. However, there is at least one major benefit to a woman that only sees you as a friend – as long as she also sees you sexually. Keep in mind however that sex might very well ruin your relationship unless you work the ground rules up front, and even then, there are no guarantees.

Sex-only relationships

Finding women interested in sex-only relationships is more difficult because you have to go through a lot of women. There are clubs and even services that can help you here, but in general, you’re going to have to work these in the same way as ONS’s.


Have you considered going back to your ex’s? This is a great source of sex-only relationships! Of course, you broke up for a reason and you should be clear on the fact that you’re not interested in getting back together with her.

You have quite a few options as to where to find sex-only relationships, and as long as everyone is on board, and you use protection every single time, there’s not too much wrong with these.

If you’re looking for sex-only relationships, you should let your target know this up front. Having her find out later on (especially when she is looking for more with you) isn’t going to ingratiate you in her mind. Further, remember that women talk. If you spend much time in any particular area (such as a local bar or club), you’re going to get the reputation of a player pretty quickly, which will shut down many other great options. Be clear about your goals up front and save yourself months (years?) of hassles later on.

I’d caution you however that if things get too serious for either of you, it’s time to move on.

Best regards…

Dr. Dennis Neder

Have a love, relationship or man/woman question? I answer all email. You can write to me at for answers.
For more information about my book, "Being a Man in a Woman's World", visit:


Copyright (c) 2004 Dr. Dennis W. Neder All rights reserved.

Dr. Dennis Neder


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