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Question:
I posted my profile online several months ago and have received
many messages. However, I have not been impressed with the women
who have contacted me—they just do not meet my standards. Do you
think there is something wrong with my profile?
Answer:
I’m glad you are doing online dating and urge you to stick with
it. Sometimes it takes a large volume of introductions before
finding someone you are interested in. However, by the tone of
your question, I’m concerned that your issues might lie in how
you are approaching dating and not in the online dating system
itself. Have you been proactive and searched for women? If so, I
would imagine that there are plenty of women that you find
interesting. If for some reason you are not finding interesting
women, then maybe your expectations are too high.
Daters often fall into the trap of their standards just being
unrealistic. You are never going to end up with the exact person
you have in your mind and you will find that in the right person
qualities that you think you’d require don’t always matter when
you have found someone to love. Online dating makes it really
easy for us to go through that checklist in our head to see if
the person is the right height, body type, age and lives in the
right city or part of town. Try to think of ways in which you
can be more open-minded. While you certainly do not need to go
out with women you aren’t interested in, there may be some great
women out there that you’ve overlooked.
Also, keep in mind that it’s not just your standards you need to
worry about, but the standards of the women you are trying to
date. What do you have to offer? Are you kind, are you a
gentleman, are you willing to invest time in getting to know a
woman you are trying to take out? Do you take care of yourself
in terms of eating right and exercising? Do you treat women with
respect? Do you have interesting things to talk about? Think of
these things and make sure you are offering these women someone
they are interested in getting to know.
You might want to start by having some online conversations with
some of these women and seeing what qualities you appreciate and
what qualities you really don’t like. Are you looking for
someone who is well-educated, kind hearted and pleasant to be
around? Or someone who is fun and likes to go out a lot? If you
can figure out more details on what you are looking for, then
perhaps you can make your interests more clear in your profile.
I applaud you for taking the time to think about your dating
approach. Don’t give up—this process takes time and effort.
Good luck.
Best wishes,
www.econfidant.com
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