By Nancy Fagan, Author of "The
Complete Idiot's Guide To Romance"
Romantic storytelling came
into vogue about the time that the troubadours
began to compose songs of love and yearning. As time passed, the
of the printing press produced mass quantities of books, making them
to just about everyone. With this change, many people became literate
up reading as a form of entertainment.
Couples also began to use reading in their courting. Both men and
turns reading their favorite passages or poems aloud. Through books,
lovers found the words they couldn’t say on their own. Lovers would
spend hours searching the texts for just the right words for their
partner and an equal amount of time reading it to them. Books were
given as gifts with special words highlighted and dedications written
to make them more special. Lovers had discovered a way to tell each
other their thoughts, feelings, hopes, and dreams through printed
Reading Builds Good Communication Skills
Why not pick up reading as a new aspect of your courting? It will make
life more interesting. Reading is a form of communication training
that naturally develops effective listening and communication skills.
When you know how to communicate effectively, your relationship will
stand a better chance of being a happy one.
If you think about what reading to your partner teaches you, it’s
worth more than anything you can do for your relationship. It teaches
each partner how to take turns listening, and then speaking, and then
giving feedback about what
you’ve heard. This is a wonderful way of communicating. Reading to
your partner will not only make you feel closer, but it will
strengthen your relationship as well.
Encouraging Your Partner to Read to You
People have different comfort levels with reading out loud, so you
need to be
sensitive to this. The best way to get your partner to read to you is
to first let him or her know it’s what you would like. Second,
encourage him or her to do it.
If your partner is uncomfortable reading or you suspect that he or she
follow these tips to make reading to you more desirable for your
* Don’t read over your partner’s shoulder.
* Don’t correct your partner’s mispronunciations of words.
* Listen without interrupting.
* Praise your partner afterwards for reading to you. (For example,
“You made me feel so special by reading that to me.” “You have a great
* Close your eyes as your partner reads to you.
* Give your undivided attention to your partner.
When encouraging your partner to read, make his or her attempt as
as possible. Sometimes people are uncomfortable reading out loud
because of bad experiences in the past. By following the preceding
tips, you will show your partner that reading to you is a positive
© Copyright 2004 Nancy
Fagan - Published with permission
Nancy Murphy, M.S.
11622 El Camino Real, Suite 100
San Diego, CA 92130 (in Carmel Valley)
Nancy Fagan, M.S., best-selling author of 'The Complete Idiot's Guide to
Romance' and 'Desirable Men: How to Find Them' has appeared on several
hundred radio and television shows including Ricki Lake, Men are from
Mars/Women are from Venus, ABC News, NBC News, CBS News, The Berman &
Berman Show, FOX News. She has been featured in most major newspaper in
the United States and worldwide as well as regularly mentioned in the
nation's top magazines such as Ladies' Home Journal ('Can this Marriage be
Saved?'), Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Men's Health, Bride's, Seventeen, Women's
Day, Family Circle,Women's Own, BBW, Complete Women and dozens of others.
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