 By Nancy Fagan, Author of "The
Complete Idiot's Guide To Romance"
Q:
I have lived with my boyfriend for 2 ˝ years. During this time, I have
experienced bouts of temper with this man—I’m the one who yells and
acts like a spoiled child, not him. He is a good person, gives me
everything I need and tells me he loves me at least twice a day.
Sadly, he’s had enough and asked me to move out. How do I deal with
the guilt, get over him and move on?
A:
Your focus needs adjustment. Rather than direct your concern away from
how to “get over him” or “moving on,” it needs to turn toward the
reason the relationship is ending—your uncontrolled fits.
The end of this relationship will not put a stop to your behavior.
Just the opposite, it will escalate with time, destroying future
relationships. Because of this, you need to explore what motivates
your immature expressions.
Gaining insight is one thing, but applying change to your well-oiled
behavior will require you to stretch yourself—to fight the urge and go
against what feels natural. People’s behaviors, both good and bad, are
learned. And...what is learned can be unlearned.
© Copyright 2004 Nancy
Fagan - Published with permission
Nancy Murphy, M.S.
www.TheDivorceHelpClinic.com
11622 El Camino Real, Suite 100
San Diego, CA 92130 (in Carmel Valley)
nancymurphy1@mac.com
(858) 764-2545
Author Info:
Nancy Fagan, M.S., best-selling author of 'The Complete Idiot's Guide to
Romance' and 'Desirable Men: How to Find Them' has appeared on several
hundred radio and television shows including Ricki Lake, Men are from
Mars/Women are from Venus, ABC News, NBC News, CBS News, The Berman &
Berman Show, FOX News. She has been featured in most major newspaper in
the United States and worldwide as well as regularly mentioned in the
nation's top magazines such as Ladies' Home Journal ('Can this Marriage be
Saved?'), Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Men's Health, Bride's, Seventeen, Women's
Day, Family Circle,Women's Own, BBW, Complete Women and dozens of others.
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