***QUESTION***

Just wanted to share a little bit of what your lessons have done for me. I read your book and started concentrating on what I thought was my weak points. I did as your book recommended and started picturing myself as the cocky funny person I wanted to be. I even did the whole daydream practice thing everyday. I work at a fitness center so I see lots of hot women all the time.

My biggest weakness is that I look away quickly after eye contact is made. I decided that before I started trying to approach women I would make it my goal for a couple of weeks to just make eye contact and hold it until they looked away.

Ok, here is the good part. After practicing eye contact for a couple of weeks and doing the whole mental exercise thing, I was at work one day working out after my break and was practicing my eye contact thing between sets with this really hot girl near the dumbbell rack.

I knew she noticed but it never bothered me cause I had no intentions of acting. Well, I had to go over to get a set of dumbbells for my next exercise and as I got close to where she was she suddenly turned around and said "I have a boyfriend" and turned around.

Normally I would have kinda stood there in shock and said nothing but, I guess all that mental practice paid off. With out even thinking or pausing the words just came out. I said "Hey that's great I am happy for you. (Pause - and in a lower tone) I know this is probably a major accomplishment for you but to the rest a the world this is kinda normal so you might not want to go telling every stranger you see." Then I just walked off with my weights to do my sets. 5 min later she comes over to me and apologizes and asks for my number. Turns out she didn't have a boyfriend but was just tired of being picked up by losers while she was trying to do a workout. Thanks for the pleasant surprise!
KAL

David D. >>>MY COMMENTS:

Niiiiice one.
Your letter is really a wonderful affirmation and summary of some of my favorite concepts:
1) Read my book "Double Your Dating"
2) Actually use the material and mentally rehearse
3) Start from where you're at
4) Be Cocky and Funny
5) Show complete indifference
6) Use illogical Jedi-Level mind power to create ATTRACTION

First of all, your story would make no sense at all to most guys. They would say "Yea, whatever. She was probably abused as a child and wants you to be her daddy" or "Well, if I worked at a gym I could do that too".

Of course, you realize that this had nothing to do with either... this was a result of you learning about how women work, then preparing, then taking action. I couldn't be more impressed.

Now let's talk about some of the things that were happening that most people would MISS when reading the story. You mentioned your exercise of keeping eye contact until women look away. This is very powerful. I am guilty of not addressing this issue more often, and I'm glad you mentioned it here.

If you can learn this skill, it will communicate powerfully for you. Great job.

You said "I guess all that mental practice paid off. With out even thinking or pausing the words just came out."

This is the result of preparation and mental rehearsal. This wasn't "luck". Even though the words were unique to the situation, the MESSAGE was delivered clearly. By learning how to better communicate in the language that women understand, you created magic.

And as for the words themselves...
You just gotta love saying: "Hey that's great I am happy for you. (Pause - and in a lower tone) I know this is probably a major accomplishment for you but to the rest a the world this is kinda normal so you might not want to go telling every stranger you see" to a hot woman at the gym!

You INSTANTLY took a situation that would normally strip a man of all his composure and personal power, and then REFRAMED her words in a way that caused HER to look like the socially inept one.

Then you did something equally powerful:
YOU WALKED AWAY.

In effect, you busted on her, then PROVED BEYOND THE SHADOW OF A DOUBT THAT YOU COULD TAKE HER OR LEAVE HER. Actions really do speak louder than words... most guys would have messed up that situation by standing around waiting for her to say something. You did the right thing by walking away.

When you combine all of these factors together, you get a totally illogical outcome: ATTRACTION.

She realized that you weren't just some other loser who hoped to maybe get a date by kissing up to her... you turned out to be on of the EXCEPTIONAL men in the world who have more personal power than her, and one of the even MORE exceptional men who also know how to create ATTRACTION.

This combination made her feel a feeling that you can't create by DECIDING that you want it. It can only be created by TRIGGERING IT.

Finally, I'd like to comment on the fact that SHE asked YOU for YOUR number. You realize that it's not typical for a woman to approach a man, apologize, then ask for his number.

Women will often ask a man for his number just to get rid of him. But not in a situation like this one. This was different. She apologized, then told you that she's tired of being picked up by losers... then asked for your number. This was, in effect, her telling you that she sees you DIFFERENTLY.

All because of your eye contact, followed by a perfect execution of the Cocky and Funny attitude, followed by an excellent physical demonstration of indifference.

Again, to most men this would make no sense at all. If you consulted most relationship books, they would argue that this type of approach would NEVER work. I mean, men are supposed to "court" women, compliment them... pursue them with gifts and favors, right?

Yea, right.

The problem is that the mainstream relationship books forgot to title the chapter that suggests this kind of behavior "HOW TO BE THE WUSS WOMEN RUN FROM" or "HOW TO CONVINCE THE WOMAN YOU DESIRE THAT YOU HAVE NO BACKBONE AND WOULD PAY ANY PRICE FOR HER ATTENTION" or "SIMPLE TECHNIQUES FOR GIVING A WOMAN YOUR REPRODUCTIVE EQUIPMENT ON A PLATTER".

The question I have for you is...
CAN YOU PUT ASIDE YOUR PRE-CONCEIVED NOTIONS ABOUT WHY MEN AND WOMEN "SHOULD" BE ATTRACTED TO EACH OTHER LONG ENOUGH TO SEE WHY THEY ACTUALLY ARE ATTRACTED TO EACH OTHER?

And can you do what it takes to get yourself from where you are to where you actually need to be in order to attract the kinds of women that you would like to meet and date? It can be done, but you're going to have to do it.

As I mentioned above, the first step is to read my book "Double Your Dating". That's the best head start I can give you. Just go to:
www.doubleyourdating.com - just follow the 'ebook' link and download your copy.

...and read it, learn it, and use it.
Talk to you soon,

David D.
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P.S. As you can probably imagine, I get a TON of email... So if you'd like to send me a Success Story, Question, or Comment, follow these guidelines:

1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs max.
2) Tell me what's working for you before you ask your question. I appreciate all of the "Your stuff is great" and "I don't need to tell you how well your stuff works" comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all of the specifics... because this helps other guys to see what's working in different situations.
3) If you have a Success Story, write "Success Story" in the subject line of the email. I read these first.
4) At the end of the email, give me your initials and tell me where you're from.
5) Send it to me at:

SuccessStories@doubleyourdating.com

(c) 2006 David DeAngelo, All Rights Reserved. By accepting and reading this article you agree that: You understand this to be an opinion and not professional advice, it is only to be used for personal entertainment purposes, you are solely responsible for any use of the ideas, concepts, and content and will hold David DeAngelo harmless. http://www.doubleyourdating.com

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DATING TIP: Eye Contact And Other Body Language