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 DATING TIP: Fear,
Self-Doubt, And Meeting Women
www.doubleyourdating.com
***QUESTION***
Hey Dave,
I've really benefited from all your techniques. I am a college freshman, and
i hadn't been having too many dates. I heard about your program over winter
break, but being away from school i didnt have the opportunity to use your
techniques. but, i got back a few days ago, and started meeting people on
the internet. i've already had one REALLY great date with a gorgeous older
woman. unlike before, a lot more women seem really eager to talk to me, and
to drive really long distance to come meet me. even the girls at college are
responding. two nights ago, i had a girl spend the night with me. as
everyone gets back to school, im sure i'll have even more success.
my question is.......i met a lot of really cute girls over the past few
months. but, because i was doing things the OLD WAY, i didnt have too much
success with them. is there any way i can attract them now, or do i just
have to give up on them and start afresh?
thanks once again.
I M
David D. >>>MY COMMENTS:
First of all, congratulations on getting out there and making things happen
for yourself. To address your question, I'm going to start with a little
home-brewed Quack Psych Analysis...
I've noticed a pattern with guys that is VERY interesting to me: If a guy
meets a girl and feels attracted to her, but doesn't have success taking
things to a "romantic level", he will tend to think about that woman and how
to "try again" to get her attention, EVEN WHEN IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE AT
ALL, AND THERE ARE MANY OTHER OPPORTUNITIES AROUND HIM.
I think that this is probably some kind of survival mechanism gone wrong.
But whatever it is, it's a PAIN IN THE ASS if you ask me. In about 98% of
cases, it's MUCH better to just get on with your life and meet new women
than it is to try and go back to women you've met in the past (who, for one
reason or another don't feel ATTRACTION for you), and try to get them to
come around.
Move on.
You're having so much success right now.
All you're going to do is waste time and make things difficult for you AND
these other women if you try to go back and get them to feel attracted to
you. Of course, if these women are a group of rich European models who love
to buy you things, let you control the remote, and have no interest in
cuddling after sex, then forget everything I've said, and instead devote the
rest of your life to changing their minds.
***QUESTION***
David,
After reading a couple of your newsletters, I recognised I had a problem or
three! and decided to get this area of my life sorted (I was previously a
WUSS), purchased your e-book and then graduated to the
CD series. That
decision has turned my life around. I am tall, tanned and toned (after many
hours in the gym) with a great job yet had problems with attracting and
retaining women. This problem is now history, thanks to your materials. They
are certainly worth every cent (even if you are from Oz and paying 2 for 1)!
I am not having any problems using the 3 minute routine to set up meetings.
Also no probs with the women feeling attraction for me. The problem is that
now I have been out with so many different women, I have options, I am
finding I now have a very specific idea of what I want, which means the vast
majority I tee up I do not want to see again after the first meeting, as
they get extremely clingy over me, are not confident or ambitious or have
emotional baggage etc. I have tried targeting specific places and activities
where these girls I would like to meet are likely to be, without lifting the
percentage of ones I want to meet for a second or third time.
The question is, How can the three minute routine be adapted with similar
success rates to narrow the field i.e. rule out those with unattractive
qualities which are hard to detect in 3 minutes, prior to the first meeting?
I know most guys would probably love to have this problem but I am sure your
answer will help me and many others including the new students who will soon
not have enough hours in a week to meet all the women if they purchase the
advanced series and follow your advice.
Keep up the great work,
GH
Australia
>>>MY COMMENTS:
You know, I get emails like yours a LOT.
Two comments:
First, it's always a good reminder when a guy like you who is physically
very attractive reveals to the rest of the world that there's a lot more to
it than being good looking.
There's no doubt in my mind that looking good will help you meet women. But
there's also no doubt in my mind that it's far from everything... and, in
fact, most of the guys I know who are very successful with women are closer
to "average" than they are to "model handsome". I'm glad that you're adding
the "inner game" to the looks, and having success with it.
Second, to answer your question, I'd like to point out that when a guy
starts experiencing a LOT of success with women, he usually begins to
realize a few things:
1) Just because a woman is attractive doesn't mean that she has her life
together, that she's emotionally stable, that she will be interesting and
fun to spend time with... etc.
2) The more women you meet, the more PICKY you become.
3) A fantastic woman that really has all areas of her life together is VERY
RARE.
4) Finding one of these rare, wonderful women often takes awhile.
The fact is that men and women BOTH tend to put their best foot forward in
the beginning and only demonstrate their positive sides.
If you REALLY want to learn how to figure out what a woman is REALLY like
when you first meet her, then you'll probably want to start studying
psychology, behavior, and communication in depth. Also, the more you
approach and meet women, the more you'll be able to put the puzzle together
faster in the beginning.
By the way, you have one of those problems that most guys would say "Waaaaa,
you poor guy". So smile about it.
***QUESTION***
Dear David:
I need your advise about something. I started to bring this one girl around
my family who really digs me and I really started to dig also. She is by far
the best looking woman I have ever dated in my life a solid 9 ½ for sure.
Every one of my friends stand utterly amazed on how well I do with the
ladies. I told them I use your material. I have given your web site to about
8-10 people already. Out of all of the girls, I like her most. I started to
see her about two weeks ago and I have used a lot of the techniques on her
in the e-book and she likes it. I told her I have done a lot of research in
the area of dating and relationships after about three dates. Well thank the
lord I did. Some family members of mine told this girl I have been reading
your stuff. I did not deny it. However, they specifically said, I learned
how to seduce women and part of it was to be cocky/sarcastic and funny with
women and they like it. I stood up to the challenge and said, "I told you I
did a lot of reading on the subject matter and it works because it allows me
to see what I want from a woman and how to handle some of the bullsh** test
you women put us men through. She looked at me and said, Oh I can't believe
you and spanked me!" If I recall you said, "women actually appreciated the
fact you took the time out to see what turned them on and they were actually
grateful."
On the way home she keep looking at me with a smile and saying what are you
thinking about? I said, nothing and then I said, I found someone I liked now
and it helped me do it. She said, "what ever works, its ok." Feel like I
lost some of my MO JO control in the relationship because of it. What do you
think? I went back to my home and started right away on things and we did it
again. How do I handle this girl now that the cat is completely out of the
bag I write into you and read your stuff! I played it as if everything was
normal and we still did it. She called me and said, "thank you I had a nice
time and I have a great family." I told her to call me tomorrow. She said,
"I will!" Do you anticipate any problems for me in the future? I felt a
little funny acting cocky and funny with her after this happened, but I
still busted on her a little but not as much. She laughed at what I said,
but looked at me like is this really you speaking. I hope they didn't screw
this up for me with this one. I am so pissed off. I can't believe they would
give me up like that. I don't think I looked any less confident about my
abilities to make her feel the powerful emotion attraction. Any comments on
the subject need a response ASAP.
Thanks David!
JPNY
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Your email is rather funny, man.
So what you're telling me here is that you did everything you learned from
me, you met an ultra fine, wonderful woman, you told her how you learned to
attract women, she responded by calling you to tell you that she had a nice
time with you... And your problem is what?
YOUR PROBLEM IS YOUR OWN SELF DOUBT.
When you said to her "...I found someone I like and it helped me do it..."
it almost sounds like YOU'RE APOLOGIZING for it. Bad bad bad. I'm assuming
that you TURNED INTO A WUSS FOR A MOMENT and used the "I'm caught" voice...
and when she said "what ever works, its ok" she wished that she didn't have
to tell you that.
Quit doubting yourself, and keep doing what works.
***QUESTION***
Whats up Dave? I like the work you did in your eBook...cocky/funny and the
friendship frame work great. I do have one question however. You state that
cocky/funny humor works best when your not smiling/look serious. However, a
lot of guys who I know that are successful with women say that smiling is
the most effective thing that attracts women. What's your take on smiling?
W-CA
>>>MY COMMENTS:
This is an interesting subject.
I think that MOST guys smile too much when they're talking to women that
they're attracted to. Now, I have to modify what I just said a bit.
How about this: Most guys smile IN A WAY THAT LOOKS LIKE FAKE APPROVAL
SEEKING WUSSY MAN when they're talking to women that they're attracted to.
I recommend that most guys learn how to control all aspects of their body
language so they can quit doing things that make them needy, apologetic,
like they're trying to get a woman's approval, etc. And smiling is one of
those aspects. With that said, I know guys who smile A LOT when they're
meeting women, and they do VERY well.
What's their secret?
They know all the things to do RIGHT, so their smiling doesn't come across
as them trying to be liked, kissing up to a woman, etc. Do what works for
you. But if you've been the kind of guy that tries to get women to "like
you" in the past, then you'd probably benefit from learning how to smile
less, and be Cocky & Funny MORE.
***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***
Dave,
I am a 29 year old female, and subscribed to your news letter for kicks and
to see what advice you were giving men. I have to say that you are pretty
much dead on, although I have only read the e-mail newsletters for the past
week or so. However, what prompted me to write was your response to A.from
Mpls in your "Mailbag". He asked how not to "regress to Wuss behavior". Each
and every one of those applies to someone I dated very briefly back in
November. He was guilty of ALL THREE Wuss behaviors, and I promptly stopped
seeing him. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking to chase after some jerk.
But I do want someone with his own life, his own circle of friends, his own
hobbies and interests, etc. It's very difficult to share all that life has
to offer when a guy doesn't have one of his own, or gives it up just to be
with me. I'm looking for someone that will challenge me (and I him) so that
we can grow together. I don't want someone growing attached to me. Keep
up the good work.
K, New Jersey
>>>MY COMMENTS:
ATTENTION MEN! ATTENTION MEN!
Read the above letter again, and see if you can "get" what this woman is
saying. Try to imagine what it's like to be her, and try to figure out what
she's REALLY trying to communicate here. If you don't get it, read it once a
day until you do.
***QUESTION***
What's happening Dave?
i've got a few questions.
1. You always reiterate not being a wuss, but what type of things/actions
should i be saying to act like a man? Should I be cussing my head off in
front of her and threaten with a back-handed slap like a pimp? (laughing)
2. This might be a stupid question, but i say the only stupid question is
the one you don't ask. I was wondering what does it mean when you're in a
club/bar type of scene and a woman is driking (water or whatever) and she is
giving me eye contact? Is she interested in me or just teasing?
3. Also how cocky should i be, cuz i don't wanna come across as arrogant?
i'm a rookie in the game (18), & i've noticed that women give me signals
(e.g. looking), but my insecurities kick in, and before i make a move i
wan't to be sure that she's really intrested in me, rather than playing the
fool.
eternal thanks.
a
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Answers:
1) To answer your question about whether to cuss your head off in front of a
woman and threaten with a back-handed slap like a pimp (laughing)...
NO. Don't laugh at all while you do it.
2) In response to the "what does it mean when a woman is giving me eye
contact" question...
It means that she's gay.
3) To address your question about how cocky you should be...
You should be exactly 87.234235% cocky. No more, no less.
OK, OK, I should be more gentle with you. I sure wish that I would have been
asking these questions when I was 18. Maybe I just envy you, and want you to
have to go through the school of hard knocks like I did. OK, enough
self-therapy... back to the questions.
Ways to act like a man include (but are not limited to):
1) Holding yourself upright, chest held high.
2) Acting like a LEADER, not a follower.
3) Not looking to others for approval and attention.
4) Demonstrating that you are in CONTROL of yourself and your surroundings.
...When a woman makes repeated eye contact with you, she's usually signaling
to you that she'd like you to approach her and start a conversation.
...The right amount of Cocky is the same amount of FUNNY. You always want to
make sure that what you're saying is FUNNY as well as COCKY. Guys who use
TOO MUCH Cocky come across as arrogant and insecure. You'll learn a lot as
you use this stuff. Thanks for your email!
***QUESTION***
David:
Your audio series have done a lot for me, my sex life is almost great. (now
I only have 2 girls to sleep with) one is an "8" and the other one is a "3"
I know she is a monster but what the hell its great to practice.. by the way
I am 36 and they are 22
Today I was with some friends at a MacDonald's talking about cars and I made
eye contact with a "9" , On the way out I only made a funny comment to her
and she responded very friendly but we left anyway. When I was in the car I
realize how stupid and slow I was.
I hate long letters so here is the question:
How do I program myself to automatically say "Hi" when I see an unexpected
opportunity? (Specially if I am thinking about other stuff) I always think
in a thousand things that I should say when it's too late. I know this can
be done because I say "Thanks" when the opportunity appears without thinking
or "Bless you" when somebody sneezes.
The girls I sleep with now where introduced to me by friends in common but I
still have problems picking up women in the street.
Greetings.
R.C.D.
Mexico City
>>>MY COMMENTS:
You're cracking me up over here! Your sex life is "almost great"? And my
favorite quote of the day has to be "...and the other is a "3" I know she is
a monster but what the hell it's great to practice...".
Whatever, dude.
lol...
The way to get yourself to the point where you start talking to women
automatically is:
1) To mentally practice this stuff every day until you're DOING IT (like you
learned in the CD Audio Program)...
2) To keep DOING IT IN THE REAL WORLD until it's a HABIT.
Look, you've been running around on this planet for 36 years with the habit
of NOT automatically saying hi. It might take a few minutes or so to program
yourself with the opposite. You're doing fine, just stick with it and you'll
start to see more and better results.
***QUESTION***
Hi David,
Been enjoying your ebook tips especially bridges. Do you have any tips for
when sharing a shower w/ a woman?
E
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Only one... do it as often as possible.
***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***
Hey Dave, so you think you are the main man - the only one out there who has
discovered "our game?" Ha! Somehow I got on your mailing list and I can't
tell you how much I enjoy reading all the wuss comments. I must congratulate
you, senor savvy, on making a ton of money by giving away our little secret.
I am a 41 year old happily married woman with a great husband. Let me tell
you, we bust on EACH OTHER to this day and it keeps us going. I hope all
those wusses out there keep taking your advice we women love this crap and
feed off it. I personally lap it up and then turn around and dish it out.
Why not? It sparks severe sensual interest and tension and keeps things on
fire! Don't get me wrong, we both do nice things for each other, but we love
a challenge, too. My husband goes nuts when I throw him down and give him
what I need.
I have two boys & a girl - the boys are being raised to love their mama, but
not take anything off of their girlfriends until its worth it. And my baby
girl? She already has my personality and cockiness and is going to be hell
on wheels! I love your newsletters - see, I actually get a few hints here
and there too!
KP
Houston, Texas
www.doubleyourdating.com
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Oh, you said something that is PRICELESS about busting on and being busted
on... "It sparks severe sensual interest and tension and keeps things on
fire!"
THIS IS A WOMAN TALKING HERE, SO PAY ATTENTION!
Most guys just can't at all imagine how being Cocky & Funny, busting on a
woman, teasing her, etc. could POSSIBLY work to create ATTRACTION. Well, it
does. Thanks for your email.
***QUESTION***
Dave, first of all, you are absolutely right about the C/F routine.
Excellent technique. I've even "experimented" on a friend of mine (It's a
female, i'm not gay). She seems be more flirty around me when i am being
cocky. I have been friends with her for about a year, and i'm trying to hook
up with her. I know that people say once the "friendship line" is crossed,
there's no turning back. But i'm wondering if there is anything you can help
me with to try to hook up with her. She's even told me she's thought about
hooking up with me, but said it might be weird because we are good friends.
I need help, i really want to get something going with this girl. Is there
something i should do or say to her? Would it be weird if i just kissed her?
Help!
-Dick, NJ
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yea, I have a great idea. Keep doing what you're doing. It's not impossible
to make a woman that is "just friends" with you attracted to you. It's just
that most guys act like SUCH WUSSIES around their female friends that it
would be easier to turn coal into diamonds than to turn their female friends
into lovers. And use "The Kiss Test" (the one on the second page of my main
website). That will keep the kiss from being "weird".
***SUCCESS STORY***
A friend got me your books as a birthday present, being that before then I
was pretty pathetic with the ladies, Being a wrestler made it all the more
of an insult. When I did get a relationship, it would never last more than a
week, and nothing would come out of it. Well, after reading your stuff I
realized how much of a wuss I was. I did almost every wuss thing in the
book, not to mention just having a severe lack of confidence...
Just to see what works, I went on one of those picture rating sites. I'll
tell ya, of 3 pictures I ranked from 6.5 to 9.5. The 6.5 one being me as a
well groomed nice guy with a smile and the 9.5 as me a year later in a cast
with a "pissed off drug dealer" look (I'd been missing a season of
wrestling, it was only fitting). I realized the nice guy look wasn't
working. I also met about a dozen girls on that system and just practiced
the c&f on them. I was the one calling the shots, dropping the boring ones
and sticking to the interesting ones, instead of them choosing whether I was
worthy... The funny part was, they each started telling me how infatuated
they were with me, and telling me about dozens of guys who piss them off,
where each of those guys were doing things I used to do by nature... Well,
after I realized that I actually did have it in me, I brought it all
together and started using it on girls back at college. I'm currently going
out with one of the most beautifulgirls in my college, and it's you I have
to thank for
it.
JW, Pennsylvania
>>>MY COMMENTS:
YEA! A guy that actually did the things that I wrote in the book, and found
out that they work.
NICE!
What can I say, other than "keep up the great work"? Oh, and you're welcome.
...and if you're reading this right now, and you've been thinking to
yourself "OK, it's time for me to finally get this part of my personal life
handled", then YOU'RE RIGHT.
Make this a resolution. Make yourself a promise.
Just do something to TAKE ACTION, and get to work on it!
I recommend that you start with the eBook, and then graduate to the Advanced
Program as soon as you're ready. You will not find a more effective set of
tools for making your dating life GREAT...
The eBook is here:
www.doubleyourdating.com
- just follow the 'ebook' link and download your copy.
...and read it, learn it, and use it.
Talk to you soon,
David D.
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P.S. As you can probably imagine, I get a TON of email... So if you'd like
to send me a Success Story, Question, or Comment, follow these guidelines:
1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs max.
2) Tell me what's working for you before you ask your question. I appreciate
all of the "Your stuff is great" and "I don't need to tell you how well your
stuff works" comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all of the
specifics... because this helps other guys to see what's working in
different situations.
3) If you have a Success Story, write "Success Story" in the subject line of
the email. I read these first.
4) At the end of the email, give me your initials and tell me where you're
from.
5) Send it to me at:
SuccessStories@doubleyourdating.com
(c) 2006 David DeAngelo, All Rights Reserved. By
accepting and reading this article you agree that: You understand this to be an opinion and not professional
advice, it is only to be used for personal entertainment purposes, you are solely responsible for any use of the ideas, concepts, and content and will hold David DeAngelo harmless. http://www.doubleyourdating.com
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