How do your looks and personality combine to attract women?
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That kind of advice truly SHUTS DOWN YOUR EMOTIONS completely, and makes you into a robot that is only programmed to avoid pain and carry out cold, lifeless actions by repeating words that someone else said, and then say them to a woman in the hopes it will attract that woman.
Of course in the real world that advice doesn't work, and actually repels women. But that kind of advice sure sucks in a lot of men, because it's very analytical, linear, program style advice, that logical men like.
It's tough for us guys to NOT think, to not analyze. We LIKE to analyze things, take them apart.
We LIKE sophisticated things like engines, jets, cars, machines, technical stuff, and FIGURING it out and respecting the POWER of these creations.
I'm one of those guys myself lol.
But guess what? Even those awesome creations, they are often the product of PASSION as well. So even there, EMOTION is key too.
Even EINSTEIN himself said that the imagination is key, and that all science begins with the MYSTICAL.
So the reality is that even the analytical stuff is HIGHLY reliant on our EMOTIONAL side for resulting in success.
The logic needs to be combined with the emotions.
And now, I'd like to TRANSLATE all this into EXACTLY HOW TO GET RESULTS with quality women, by sharing a letter from a recent "Immersion Training" Bootcamp student of mine:
***LETTER FROM A BOOTCAMP STUDENT***
Thanks Michael for the amazing boot camp. For those of you haven't met Michael in person he is someone who does what he preaches. He is a genuine, sincere guy, with strong values who also happens to be damn good with women.
He is funny, he is a great conversationalist, and most importantly he really wants you to succeed. He definitely doesn't hold anything back when it comes to teaching and trying to get you over your hurdles.
To start off....For me the objective of the boot camp was to build on how I connect with girls I am attracted to. I was already pretty good at spontaneous so called openers (but I even got some great experience and insight from Michael on this during the boot camp) and I wanted to take it the next level.
So needless to say the objective during the boot camp was definitely quality over quantity. Here are a few of my learning's.
1. Know Clearly What Kind Of Women You Want.
I am not just talking about looks here. But more specifically what you really want in a woman. For me a quality I look for in women is happiness and whenever I meet a girl who has that quality I quickly find a big connection.
A key learning during the boot camp was to learn how to appreciate such qualities in women. E.g. If I like the fact that a girl acts silly - and it shows me she is not affected by social pressure, that she is immune to it. I let her know that I really like it and why.
It was something I was reluctant to do earlier (with all the dating Guru hogwash about how women will think you're a "wuss" if you do this).
As I found out during the boot camp and after it... it is definitely very much ok to give compliments to a girl as long as it is GENUINE and it comes from a position of strength. That was a big eye opener for me and it feels so natural. No games, no false lines, no made up qualifiers, it's just you being a person who is confident enough to really appreciate another person's goodness.
2. Listen.
If listening is the North Pole... thinking is the South Pole. You really can't listen and think at the same time.
Again if you are thinking about getting her to bed, or the next smart thing to say it is very difficult to actually listen or 'feel' her communication.
And when you truly listen to a person, you don't need any additional tips on carrying out a conversation... it just flows very naturally.
So when I speak to a girl at the mall, book store or grocery store I make it a point to let my Ego wander off (not the easiest thing to do ) and truly listen to what she is saying.
3. Energy.
This was another huge learning for me. I used to be pretty good at opening up conversations with women. I had no problems going up and talking to girls (well to be truthful I had problems but I had to fight through the thoughts and just go do it).
I also used to get amazing first reactions. But I realized that after a few minutes or even seconds when they had stopped laughing like crazy that I wasn't really connecting.
I am realizing now (thanks to Michael) that it is because even though a very high energy level than the 'girls' will create instant attraction, it does not sustain it.
It's like a jolt of lightening giving a few milliseconds of thunderous power as opposed to the constant more reliable power you may get from a power generator.
So even though I might start at higher energy level initially I quickly try to bring it back to their energy levels so that it not only seems real to them but it seems real to you!
E.g. at a club I may start off with very cheery, commanding, friendly "Hiiii" and then tone it back to normal conversational energy when I am talking real stuff.
4. Handling Negative Emotions Effectively
I ask myself whether I am doing something out of neediness when ever I experience a negative emotion when I want to approach a girl (thankfully it happens only very rarely now).
When I do this I come to realize that really at that point I am really concerned about me, satisfying my ego by getting the girl, and that it's not about giving.
And I try to let go of that 'selfish' feeling . And when I let go of that 'ego' my interactions happen way better.
And if I do act on those negative emotions (the clingy ego) the quality girls kind of sense it's presence in some peculiar way. Don't ask me how. But I think it is still important to go ahead even amidst those negative thoughts (if you can't get rid of them) and do it because you will ultimately become less sensitive and you will begin to experience positive thoughts over time.
5. Approaching/Opening The Conversation
I don't think at all when I go up to a woman or set. Just go there - look at the surroundings and start talking about something (well maybe not about her body!). I typically look around ..... maybe it's a book, what's in her grocery cart or just an observation.
And what I've noticed most of the time is that the quality girls always respond. But you have to say it a right way. Michael addresses this aspect well in his book. After that I just talk normally like with a good friend of mine - I don't try to force the conversation.
Again I want to stress that when you yourself have direction, have a great lifestyle you don't need to pretend to be interesting... you become interesting. Women will sense this and WILL get attracted to you.
Like Michael says you attract what you are. You can also attract what you pretend you are but the "pretending/fake" way is way harder, requires so much more effort.
6. Not All Girls Will Connect.
Sometime I use great spontaneous (and Michael's too) openers but not every single time do the girls 'click'. What was funny though was that in 90% of these "non-click" situations, I noticed a moment or two later that these girls were walking around with I am assuming their boy friends (most of these happened at book stores). The remaining 10% of these girls that didn't click, I probably screwed up : )
I guess it's ok to screw up once in a while. But that too was a key learning... that when a girl sometimes doesn't respond it might not be your 'problem' it might be 'hers'.
7. There is definitely no perfect opener.
And that's great! Why - because it feels more natural to them it ultimately is MORE NATURAL TO YOU.
I could go on and on and on. Wow this turned out to be long - Sorry Michael! I think I've touched a few points which were some key learning's for me during the boot camp.
The bottom line though is that if you want to really get this stuff and learn it you have to take a good look at yourself and work on yourself.
Thanks again Michael for showing the way!
Sincerely,
Gabriel T., Florida
>>>MY COMMENTS<<<
Thank you for that fantastic letter and the props- and I have to give props back to you for the you for the FANTASTIC effort and attitude you put into the Bootcamp as well- it takes two to make it work. I gave you everything I had, and you gave it everything you had, and that's why your results were so friggen awesome!
Some important points about your letter:
I think most guys TOTALLY underestimate the importance of CONNECTION, and it's not their fault.
The supposed dating gurus and pick up artists make a HUGE DEAL about the "opening" as if it all depended only on that, when as you have seen it's just one stage, and you can open with almost anything when you get the TRUTH of how attraction works, because no matter what you open with, you will succeed when you are conveying the right things through TONALITY alone.
And isn't it interesting that your goal was quality over quantity, and that goal in itself seemed apparent to ALL the women you chatted to, without you even MENTIONING it in words. And the way the women were often trying to prove their worth to you to show you they were good catches, it was cool.
Since you really do have things you are looking for in a woman, such as happiness, rather than just PRETENDING to have "qualifiers" as the pick up artists teach, the women could sense the CONGRUENCY in you, so you were COMPELLING, you were convincing, the women could tell you weren't a fake. And you weren't hiding behind a mask of lies, lines, or routines, or fears. You had learned to let go of those things.
And of course, you actually were able to have long conversations with the women, even at places that are not normally "social" hangouts like clubs- in fact, you had these long conversations with women you met at the bookstore, mall, coffee shops, etc. You could actually talk to her for real about the things about herself that you genuinely appreciated---like her sense of free flowing happiness and her ability to withstand social pressure to always be serious,-- so this ELEVATED HER SELF-ESTEEM because it was GENUINE, she knew it was real.
When a woman is FEELING higher self-esteem, you are TRULY opening up the pathways to her INFINITE emotional experience.
Once a woman is feeling even better about herself, she has no need to be cold, nasty, or rushed, instead she is feeling happy, sexual, and feeling like she wants to PARTY, but not just with anyone-- just with YOU!!!
The "dance club" that you want to visit is the one in your own mind, where you can unleash a symphony of music, of empowerment, of INFINITE POSSIBILITIES, in yourself...and just WATCH the effect this has on your entire personality and on your interactions with women, and watch how THIS pulls a woman into you in so easily that it's ridiculous.
Immerse yourself in positive sources of inspiration - from great art and music and film to great books and great people.
It's incredible, 99% of the planet is walking around with insecurities, and these things create so much pain, and then we are told by supposed experts that the solution is to NEGATE women's self-esteem.
The reality is that if a woman IS being nasty to a man, she is NOT going to be better as a result of an attack on her self-esteem. In fact, she is probably so messed up in the first place BECAUSE she is actually insecure.
Also, it's interesting to notice that in the real world, very often the women who are beautiful are actually pretty damn FRIENDLY. But if you expect a negative result, of course, that will filter your own attitude and your tonality in the approach, and THAT will give off the vibes that are nasty, making HER respond nasty as well.
I also love how you realized so many elements of the power of LISTENING!
And I love your analogy of listening being the NORTH POLE and thinking being the SOUTH POLE!!
The key is to just enjoy her, enjoy listening to her, rather than being focused on the "next chess move" in some "game" of getting her.
And of course, a woman can tell when a man is not listening anyway! It's insane how men are being taught to do all kinds of things EXCEPT listening!!!
The key is unleashing EMOTIONS in a woman, and there is no way in hell that a woman will unleash these precious parts of herself with a man that she feels is not even listening to discover who she truly IS.
Only once a woman feels trust in a man can she unleash all those emotions that translate into massive desire for him.
Of course, what the "gurus" don't tell men is that when you truly listen to a person, you don't need any additional tips on carrying out a conversation... it just flows very naturally, exactly as you wrote. BRAVO!!!
And bravo on letting your Ego wander off!!!!
One way of helping yourself do this is to approach a woman with the attitude not of "how do I AVOID rejection" but rather "how would I act toward this woman if I knew she LOVED me"????????
This will make you give off the kind of charismatic energy that PULLS a woman into you without her being able to help it.
Also regarding energy levels in opening up conversations, most men have been taught to be OVERLY DRAMATIC in their entrance, as if the only way to show "value" is to be "SUPER FUNNY/CLEVER"--- when in reality this overdoing it often shows the opposite.
The problem is that the "overly clever" stuff when coming in high dosages, RIGHT OFF THE BEGINNING of the interaction, is that it ends up seeming FAKE, and the woman might take a few moments for her logic to catch this, but once she stops laughing, she quickly realizes the whole interaction feels like she was not with the REAL you.
And now she feels that since you were not being the real you, what IS the real you then?
She is asking herself: "Why were you hiding it? What were you afraid of?"
You learned very well though, and you mastered this by the end of bootcamp.
And by the way, you did even BETTER than you realize, not only did you get the numbers of several non-drunk, high quality women in places like bookstores and coffee shops, but these women would have kept on going and talking, it was YOU who finally ended the chats because it was time to go!
Also, of the women who you felt didn't "click" not only were 90% of them walking around with their boyfriends moments later in the bookstore, but it makes sense that a lot of women who are quality, intelligent, attractive, and fun would have someone, even if not right with them at that second!!!
You really KICKED ASS that weekend!!!!
So for today, the lesson is: *know what you want so you can connect better and thus have more conviction in your delivery *genuinely look for what to make a woman feel good on about herself, *listen to her rather than focusing on your own next moves/fears/ego *feel more, think less when approaching women *avoid "high energy" openers, she senses the fakeness.
Cheers,
Michael
PS.
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This article © 2008 Cheerful Attitude Web Design Ltd. Michael Marks and "Get A Great Girl" and may not be reproduced without authors consent.

