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Holi-dating: A Thanksgiving to New Years' Dating Survival Guide

Lisa Daily, Dream Girl and author of Stop Getting Dumped! Stop Getting Dumped! Survival Guide By Lisa Daily

Holi-dating: A Thanksgiving to New Years' Dating Survival Guide

Stuck in the Snow

Yes, it's that time of year again. Thanksgiving kicks off the annual relationship freeze which lasts through the New Year.

Much like government wage freezes that leave DMV workers and other civil servants with salaries stuck in 1973, the annual dating freeze cements you for three months in whatever relationship situation you happen to be in on November 15.

Singles and couples everywhere can feel mid-November bearing down on them like tax day.

What does it mean? Well, if you're single and dateless, it means you're probably going it alone for the next few months.

Sure, you'll have to endure 7 or 8 hours of pitying glances and "So, are you seeing anyone?" at the holiday gathering, but at least it's less agonizing than your Aunt Leona grilling you in front of grandpa about your sex life, or the new hottie you met on the Internet last week.

And, if you're in a less-than-fab relationship, well, you're pretty much stuck until the holidays are over.

There will be office parties and family gatherings to attend, and somehow your plans will propel you frenetically through the season like a goldfish down the toilet bowl.

If you start to feel like you're not going to be able to go the distance, reality will whack you on the head and you'll realize you don't really want to be known as the heartless jerk who ruined Christmas.

Just the image of your current steady blubbering into the yams is enough to make anybody hunker down and endure a few more weeks as a couple (however unpleasant they might be.)

Fortunately, before you know it, the whirlwind will die down and you'll be whooshed smack-dab into the middle of January.

If it's the thought that counts, what the hell were you thinking?

Assuming you're in a relationship, even a new one, some sort of gift exchange is generally expected. With a budding romance, however, things are a bit more complicated, especially for women.

Men are generally terrified of holiday-induced coupledom and freak out at any sign the woman is trying to use the holiday freeze as a chance to create permanent status.

So, how do you pick a gift that says "I like you and I'm thoughtful" without sending the message "I know we just met last week, but I've already started sneaking tampons into your medicine cabinet"?

The key here is to give your guy a gift that would be suitable to give your boss. Think music, (no John Tesh, please,) sports stuff, (NOT his-and-her memberships to a gym,) or a new tie. Whatever you do, don't give your guy part one of a set of ANYTHING. Otherwise, you might not be around to see his birthday/your two-month anniversary/groundhog day. Worse still, you might wind up stuck with parts 2-7 of whatever you had in mind for your sadly transparent romantic instalment plan.

Say you're in a long-term relationship, and you're just biding your time until January. Well, there's nothing that says, "I can't wait to dump you" like a crappy or impersonal gift.

Women who are in it 'till January will generally try to fake it and will give a gift that is not overly personal, but also not a clear indication of relationship doom.

Men, however, frequently become affected by short-timer's disease and end up giving reasonably-priced, gift-wrapped-in-the-shopping-bag, white-elephant-esque gifts that have been purchased at either the electronics store, or worse, the Gas-N-Go three blocks from your apartment.

A terrible gift has long been a sign of impending breakup. I've heard dozens of stories of three- and four-year relationships that ended bluntly following a bizarrely bad gift exchange. It wasn't the gift that ended the relationship, it was merely a sign of things to come.

Of course, a bad gift doesn't always have to mean your paramour is planning to dump you like last week's spaghetti once January hits.

It could just mean that your sweetie's madly in love with you, but has really horrific taste -- just maybe, you can look forward to many, many years of individually-wrapped-in-cellophane roses, radio-controlled cars, sausage-of-the-month clubs and green plastic phones.

Hang in there kids, the thaw is coming soon.

About Lisa Daily:

Lisa Daily is the Dating & Relationships Expert on DAYTIME, a nationally-syndicated morning TV show, and the bestselling author of Stop Getting Dumped!, How to Date Like a Grownup (Jan 2009) and Fifteen Minutes of Shame (a novel.)

She is also also a syndicated dating columnist, and has been quoted in thousands of magazines and newspapers, from Cosmopolitan to the New York Times to Men’s Health and seen everywhere from Entertainment Tonight to MTV. Lisa also appeared as a real life “date doctor” in the HITCH movie DVD starring Will Smith.

© 2006-2008 Lisa Daily

Stop Getting Dumped by Lisa DailyDate Like A GrownupLisa Daily, Dream Girl and author of Stop Getting Dumped! All you need to know to make men fall madly in love with you and marry 'The One' in 3 years or less. "This chick really knows what she's talking about!" --Howard Stern As seen on Sally, The Other Half and Cosmopolitan Magazine Available at and bookstores everywhere


Lisa Daily is the author of Stop Getting Dumped! All you need to know to make men fall madly in love with you and marry “The One” in 3 years or less. At bookstores everywhere. As seen in Cosmopolitan, The Other Half and The Sally Show Get our FREE Dating Tips newsletter - chock-full of man-snagging techniques, at


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