How can you tell if that guy you've been dating is actually falling for you or just fooling around?
Six simple questions will tell you all you need to know.
1) When does he usually call you for a Saturday night date?
weeks in advance
b) Usually by Wednesday or Thursday
c) The day before
d) 10 minutes before he shows up
2) How often does he call you during the week?
a) Twice a day
b) 3-7 Times a week
c) Once a week
d) 10 minutes before he shows up
3) How often do you see each other?
a) Every day
b) Two or three times a week
c) Two or three times a month
d) Once a month or less
4) How often do you call him during the week?
b) I never call him, or I return his calls occasionally
c) I call him a couple times a week
d) I call him every day
5) If you stopped doing all of the work in the relationship, (asking him out, calling him, etc.) how would it affect the relationship?
a) I have no idea
b) It wouldn't change a bit - he's doing most of the pursuing.
c) It would slow down considerably - I'd probably see him half as much.
d) Goodbye relationship, hello Häagen Dazs. He doesn't do much pursuing, so if I stopped calling and making dates, I'd probably would never see him again.
6) When he asks you out on a date, who pays?
a) He always pays
b) He usually pays, but I offer sometimes
c) We usually split the check
d) I usually pay for the date
How to Score:
Mostly As - This guy is either head over heels in love, or it's early in the relationship and you haven't had sex yet. Maybe both. While the eight-calls-a-day intensity is romantic at first, it can also wear you both out, and cause the relationship to prematurely crash and burn. Try taking a breather every once and a while to hang out with friends and do your own thing. You'll both appreciate the break, and trust me, absence really does make the heart grow fonder. While it's tempting to isolate yourselves in a love-cocoon, it can be damaging to the relationship long-term.
Mostly Bs - This relationship is right on track. By calling you regularly and pursuing the relationship, he's letting you know that he's definitely into you. Why? A man who is interested will continually work to progress the relationship. In other words, if he's pursuing you, he's interested. The key to success here is to stay on track. If the relationship hits a slow point, don't freak out and start pursuing him or you'll break the dynamic that is currently working so well. Stay relaxed and confident, and the relationship is sure to pick up speed again.
Mostly Cs - He's great on a date, and then you don't hear from him for weeks. His cell phone rings constantly during dinner, but you can't reach him for days. This guy probably enjoys your company, but something isn't right. He's either distracted by another relationship, work, friends, or all of the above. For some reason, he's happy to let things slide. To bring him on board, you need to stop making things so easy for him. If you don't hear from him by mid-week, make other plans (and don't break them.) Don't make yourself so available for him, stop calling him for a while, and see if he picks up the slack. He'll either step up his game, and put in the necessary effort, or he'll let you know for certain that he's not the guy for you.
Mostly Ds - I hate to break it to you darling, but this guy is exhibiting all the signs of someone who's just hanging around for the sex and free food. If you stop chasing after him, it's highly likely he'll just vaporize into thin air. Why? He's making it clear by his actions (not calling you, only calling you at the last minute) that he's waiting for something (anything!) better. (But hey, a you and a plate of fries will do if nothing more exciting comes along.) Don't fret. It's probably not you. Sometimes it doesn't matter if you're the greatest girl in the world, you're just not the girl for him. Don't waste your time on someone who doesn't want you. Spend it with someone who does. The more time you waste on Mr. Right Now, the longer it will take you to find Mr. Right. Move on!
About Lisa Daily:
Lisa Daily is the Dating & Relationships Expert on DAYTIME, a
nationally-syndicated morning TV show, and the bestselling author of
Stop Getting Dumped!, How to Date Like a Grownup (Jan 2009) and
Fifteen Minutes of Shame (a novel.)
She is also also a syndicated dating columnist, and has been quoted in thousands of magazines and newspapers, from Cosmopolitan to the New York Times to Men’s Health and seen everywhere from Entertainment Tonight to MTV. Lisa also appeared as a real life “date doctor” in the HITCH movie DVD starring Will Smith.
© 2006-2008 Lisa Daily
Lisa Daily, Dream Girl and author of Stop Getting Dumped! All you need to know to make men fall madly in love with you and marry 'The One' in 3 years or less. "This chick really knows what she's talking about!" --Howard Stern As seen on Sally, The Other Half and Cosmopolitan Magazine Available at www.stopgettingdumped.com and bookstores everywhere
Lisa Daily is the author of Stop Getting Dumped! All you need to know to make men fall madly in love with you and marry “The One” in 3 years or less. At bookstores everywhere. As seen in Cosmopolitan, The Other Half and The Sally Show Get our FREE Dating Tips newsletter - chock-full of man-snagging techniques, at www.stopgettingdumped.com