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Internet Nooky

Lisa Daily, Dream Girl and author of Stop Getting Dumped! Stop Getting Dumped! Survival Guide By Lisa Daily

Internet Nooky

Every week I receive lots of letters from women complaining that their boyfriends or husbands are engaged in a little online lust-fest. Is cybersex really cheating? Does it mean he loves me less? Is looking at porn on the Internet as bad as flirting with someone anonymously in a chat room?

Most of the women who write to me believe that cybersex is cheating. Here's the rub: a surprising number of men (54% in fact, according to Divorce Magazine,) believe it's not.

Sure, typing words on a keyboard is not exactly the same thing as making out with a stranger in a bar after too many cosmopolitans, or sleeping with a coworker on a business trip. Unfortunately, what women seem to understand that men frequently do not is that online relationships mean intimacy between two real people, whether they are in the same room (or Jacuzzi) or not.

Lots of guys use Internet flirting or cybersex as a sort of interactive girly magazine, and frankly, they leave their emotions at the bathroom door. The problem is that to women, both the woman in their lives and the woman on the other end of the DSL, the interaction is real. A cyber-relationship holds promise, and to a wife or girlfriend that promise feels like a very real threat.

There's more. According to recent studies, (Greenfield and Rivet - Internet Use & Abuse Survey 1999) evidence proves there is a high correlation between online cybersex and subsequent real-time sexual affairs. The same study stated that a whopping 31% of people have had an online conversation that has led to real-time sex.

Which means that cybersex, whether you think of it as cheating or not, poses a real hazard to relationships.

So, what can you do to protect your relationship against cyber-nooky? Well, your best defense is to let your partner know exactly what your position is. He'll either respect your feelings, or he won't. (Which is telling in itself.) But either way, you'll know where you stand, and exactly the type of person you're with.

About Lisa Daily:

Lisa Daily is the Dating & Relationships Expert on DAYTIME, a nationally-syndicated morning TV show, and the bestselling author of Stop Getting Dumped!, How to Date Like a Grownup (Jan 2009) and Fifteen Minutes of Shame (a novel.)

She is also also a syndicated dating columnist, and has been quoted in thousands of magazines and newspapers, from Cosmopolitan to the New York Times to Men’s Health and seen everywhere from Entertainment Tonight to MTV. Lisa also appeared as a real life “date doctor” in the HITCH movie DVD starring Will Smith.

© 2006-2008 Lisa Daily

Stop Getting Dumped by Lisa DailyDate Like A GrownupLisa Daily, Dream Girl and author of Stop Getting Dumped! All you need to know to make men fall madly in love with you and marry 'The One' in 3 years or less. "This chick really knows what she's talking about!" --Howard Stern As seen on Sally, The Other Half and Cosmopolitan Magazine Available at and bookstores everywhere


Lisa Daily is the author of Stop Getting Dumped! All you need to know to make men fall madly in love with you and marry “The One” in 3 years or less. At bookstores everywhere. As seen in Cosmopolitan, The Other Half and The Sally Show Get our FREE Dating Tips newsletter - chock-full of man-snagging techniques, at


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