Four Basic Strategies You Need To Follow
Almost everyone in their life has had to go through a breakup.
Most things in life, the more you do them, the easier it is to do. With breakups, no matter how many you've had to go through in the past, they certainly don't become easier to go through. And sometimes take a little bit longer to heal from, every time.
After a breakup, unless the relationship was completely terrible, most people desire to get their ex back. This is completely natural.
In fact, sometimes, even if the relationship was unhealthy, they still desire to get their ex back. Staying with the known, rather than confront the unknown, is too hard for many people to do.
You really shouldn't try to get back with your ex if they ever used physical violence or words to hurt you. That is not a healthy relationship, it's a continuing disaster waiting to get worse. If you were in a relationship like that and your ex broke up with you, then consider yourself lucky, and do your best to become healthy again in mind, body and spirit.
Otherwise, most relationships follow a pretty predictable pattern.
When you first meet someone everything is wonderful and new. They are everything that makes light in your world and you can do no wrong in their eyes.
After a short while the comfortable stage sets in. You adjust to each other. When the newness is gone and comfort is there, things in the relationship change. The little quirks you were willing to overlook before actually bother you now. You can see more about the person than you did before. Their habits, their way of talking, how they hold themselves shine out as if revealed for the first time.
There is an expression: “Familiarity breeds contempt.” Truer words couldn't have been spoken for relationships.
After a couple get comfortable and familiar with each other, trouble usually starts. This is exactly what tests the strength of the relationship. It takes work and effort to maintain a relationship. Sometimes, when things break, instead of getting repaired, the other person wants out of the relationship completely, using any escape route possible so they don't have to face the truth of themselves or their lover.
Do you believe, despite it being over, that your relationship is worth salvaging, even if the other person made it clear, that it's over?
You need some answers on how get your ex back. Here are four steps you can take.
Saying you are sorry is one of the best how get your ex back methods. Even if it doesn't get your ex back, it's usually the best first step. Be sure that you say sorry for the right reasons. After a breakup it can be easy to blame yourself for everything.
Remember, it takes two people to have a successful relationship. Knowing what exactly to apologize for is critical.
Whatever you do, when you apologize don't let your ex bait you into an argument. The biggest irony of saying sorry to an ex is that it can easily lead to another fight. If you say you're sorry, and your ex brings something else up, don't get defensive. Stay calm, keep your emotions, your ego, and your pride in check.
2.Sit down and talk things out
If your ex is up to it, set a time where both of you can sit down and talk. Whatever you don't beg, plead, cry, or force your ex into this. If they don't want to, then just go to the next step. If they do agree, you're going to have to keep your emotions in check. This isn't the time to get into a fight again. Make it clear to your ex that you have no desire to bring blame into the discussion.
You want to talk about the issues objectively. If you talk strictly about the issues without assigning blame, you'll get better results. It is best if you can get a therapist or an expert in the field of relationships involved with this, if at all possible.
3.Give them some space
This may seem counter-intuitive to how get your ex back. You have to remember just because you want to talk to them or see them, doesn't mean they do. It is crucial to allow the partner some space. A brief time away from each other, before you try to win them back, will give you both time to cool down and a chance for them to miss you. If you're in touch with them all the time, they won't be able to miss you.
4.Show them you care about yourself
Prove to them that you care about yourself. If you seem desperate, clingy, and whiny, you will not succeed. If you sit around the house waiting for them to call or keep checking your email every few minutes hoping to get their message, you're not doing yourself any favors. Hang out with friends. Go to movies, go to concerts, go to the mall. Whatever, just get up and get out and live your life.
It's best if you're not there when your ex calls. Then they'll be
wondering what you're doing. If you're out and your cell rings and
its your ex, don't answer it. Let the call go to voice mail. The
best thing to do is wait until the next day to call them back. Tell
them you were busy, and you didn't have time to call them back. This
will probably shock them. You may even be able to get them to pursue
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