Can you allow forgiveness into your life to keep your lover with you?
There are only two things you can do after a breakup:
1) move on, or,
2) try to win back your lover.
You ne3ed to use the logical part of your thinking, not the emotional part, and take a hard, cold view of the way your relationship was.
You need to think about how things were and how they will be now for you. Try to be as factual as you can. You might decide that the break-up really isn’t a bad idea, that you were stagnating as an individual person.
If you decide your goal should be to try to win back your lost love, the first step is to admit how you were wrong and to apologize.
You might think you’ve done this first step already. You might have said you were sorry several times. But if your ex thought you were apologizing just to stop a break-up, he or she might not think the apology was sincere. As well, you need to consider exactly what led to the breakup so that your apology is not just the usual knee-jerk reaction of words to prevent the breakup.
If you were the one who did something that you need to apologize for, apologize again, sincerely. And not have the goal of reuniting show up in your words or actions, not yet anyways.
Now they might think the apology is sincere, because nothing hinges on it. If the relationship has ended, you won’t be saying it only to save it but they will believe that you really mean it. (And hopefully, you do.)
If it was your ex that was the one who did something worth apologizing for, then rather than try to get a sincere apology from them, forgive them.
Forgiveness opens you up to a whole new life of acceptance. You may never forget, especially if your break-up was because of cheating, but you must learn to forgive.
Forgiving is much harder for some of us than merely saying, “I forgive you,” though, so you might want to read a book or two on forgiveness and how to really mean it. If you want to win back lost love, this step will help you do it. And understanding forgiveness can help prevent problems in the future, too.
If you do succeed and you win back lost love, 3 or 6 or 9 months into the newly patched relationship, the same old issues might come up. If you haven’t forgiven the person for whatever was done to break up the relationship, then you might have a hard time getting past everything. Old wounds would be reopened and it’s likely that hurtful things would be said. You are cautioned to keep your promises!
But if you can truly forgive the person, then there won’t be any need to rehash the past. While you’re working on forgiving him or her for whatever happened to cause the break up, forgive them for the break up itself and you’ll save yourself lots of grief down the road.
Also, to win back lost love, show the person the "you" they fell in love with, not the “you” that has been dumped. They were with you because you have certain qualities of kindness and thoughtfulness, not because you’re angry, jealous or hurt.
While you might not be able
to hide the pain you are feeling, concentrate on being the best "you"
that you can
possibly be and you may win back lost love by reminding them why
they loved you in the first place.
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