How Do You Get Back Love?
How do you get your ex back even after you’ve cheated?
But I don't think that way.
I believe that every relationship is saveable if both people really want to work on it.
This article is about restoring trust in relationships.
Restoring trust in relationships requires a change in attitude and actions. Even after an affair, it is possible to save a relationship. But that starts with ramping up the level of trust within the couple and within the relationship.
If you have had an affair, you have had an attitude which allowed you to stray, you allowed yourself, at some level, to think that an affair is OK, or that your partner forced you into an affair. There is usually something at the relationship’s core that is diseased. But you can heal this disease.
What was it that you were looking for when you strayed? Was the sex uninteresting? Was she too busy for you? Was she just not spending enough time on her grooming?
You wouldn’t have had an affair if the primary relationship was perfect. So, what needs to be done to fix it? Often that lies in self analysis. But just as often, that lies in the couple’s relationship.
Restoring trust in relationships means fixing the real problems. Sometimes that means going into couples, or relationship, counselling.
But just understanding the self-explanations and your thoughts isn’t enough. The next step is to take firm action in fixing the problems.
The secret to restoring trust in relationships lies not in talking about the right things, but in doing the right things. You must do!
One of the biggest things you can do is to make small promises and be sure to do them. If you promise to take the trash out every evening, do it. And, do it consistently.
When you can demonstrate that you can be trusted in doing the small things, a gradual sense of confidence within the relationship will be realized in the larger picture of the relationship.
Your girlfriend or wife is going to need constant reassurance that you have changed in action, deeds and words. This means that you are going to need to apologize more than once over time. You will also need to treat the recurring comments about the violation of trust as a matter of course. It is not easy for her to forgive the breach. If you want to stay with her, you will be patient with her. Understand that she will need to vent against you, many times.
This does not mean that you must feel guilty about the indiscretion forever. In fact, if you allow her to constantly guilt trip you, she will not be satisfied in the new relationship you are building. Just be understanding.
Finally, you need to put a positive spin on the incident. Treat it as an opportunity for both of you to grow as individuals and for the relationship to mature. Just as a bone grows stronger at the place it has been broken, a relationship can improve after an affair.
Restoring trust in a relationship takes time. It requires that you
change both your attitudes and actions. But it is possible to heal
the divide and be a stronger couple as a result.
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