Revenge On My Ex
Dear RG,
I am not usually a vengeful person, and
in fact believe in turning the other cheek, but my ex-husband deserves some
payback.
Long story short, I've been
a single mom for fourteen + years. The man owes me $40,000 in back child
support because he is a deadbeat drunk, and he was never really involved in
his son's life until two years ago, when I CALLED and TOLD HIM that he
needed to be more involved as his son became a teenager and eventually a
man, and to get his ass over here. So, he moved to be closer to his son (I
let him stay with me for the first six months rent free/no, no hanky-panky).
I and my family have given and loaned him money, shelter, and a lot of stuff
to get him on his feet.
Well, this past fall, he
enrolled in college and has been very active in AA, even being a sponsor and
leading groups himself, and now he thinks he's THE S--T!
I have just finished
another degree and have been planning on moving out of state because our
economy is not so great and opportunity is better elsewhere. Everyone has
heard me talk about moving for over a year now. No surprises here!
So I had an opportunity to
move a couple of months ago and was making the plans. I told the ex that I
was moving and he went psycho! He filed a lawsuit against me to get joint
custody of our son, citing the reason for the suit was that I was an
"unstable parent" and listing pages of horrible slanderous lies and
exaggerations about me! (side note- after the papers were signed I asked him
why he said those horrible things, "I had to make a case", was his
response).
He also enlisted help from
my mom and my sister by telling them lies and turning them against me! After
much repair work, Mom and I are doing better, my sister is still being
manipulated by him, and the victim of her own misconceptions and prejudice,
but the damage has been done! The trust and loyalty in my family has been
nearly destroyed by this manipulative smooth talker! Did I mention that this
lawsuit was never even necessary because in our state a fourteen year old
can decide where they want to live, and I had told my ex earlier that I was
going to let my son choose anyway because I wanted to do what was best for
him and not take him away from friends, school, and other family if he did
not want to go!
Also, when I went out of
town to follow up on some job leads and housing arrangements and meet new
people in this new location, leaving my kids under the supervision of
babysitters (because my ex refused to watch them and was manipulating my
family against me to also refuse to watch them), my ex called Child
Protective Services and filed a bogus charge against me for abandonment! CPS
threw the case out of course, but I am still furious about it!
So to recap, my ex files an
unnecessary, slanderous lawsuit, a bogus CPS charge, stirs up trouble with
my family, and then, when I am packing and getting ready to move, he refuses
to give me back some of the things I had lent to him when he didn't have any
money.
I had asked for the
television and VCR back earlier in the year, he said he would give it back
when he got student loans. He never did. He said he would buy my son a new
TV/VCR for Christmas. He never did. Then this fall when I told him I needed
it back NOW! He said, "Everything in this house is mine!" So, a few weeks
later, days before I was to leave town, I stopped over there to pick up the
stuff myself. Well the a--hole had changed the locks! I was so pissed that I
just climbed into the window two feet away from the door that was wide open,
grabbed my stuff, went out the front door, locked it back up, and left! I
did not touch any of his shit! I just grabbed what is mine!
Guess what! About two hours
later the police show up at my house and charge me with breaking and
entering and theft! They dropped the theft charges, but I am currently
waiting to go to trial for trespassing! Here's another kicker, my ex said he
would drop the charges if I signed the custody papers, and then after I
signed them (which I stated earlier I was going to anyway-for the benefit of
my son), he "changed his mind" and never dropped them! When I tried to call
him to talk to him about this he ignored my calls and messages. When I went
to his house to talk to him in person, he refused to answer the door and
even called the police and said I WAS HARASSING HIM! I got calls from an
officer stating that my ex was advised to file a restraining order against
me!
Now let's see, bogus
lawsuits and charges, fucking with my family, distressing my son, fucking
with my life and my career (keep reading), hhmmm... am I not the one who
should file a restraining order? I did in fact go down to the police station
and told them all of this and they said, "well technically he is not
breaking any laws so we cannot charge him with anything." I decided against
filing a restraining order at this time so as not to "stir the hornets nest"
as my mother put it. Also, did I mention that about six months after he had
moved here and was staying with me, I had to kick him out of the house
because he came home two nights in a row, (first night warning, second night
out he went) stinking drunk, which was a verbally contractual deal breaker,
and the next day he stole my house keys out of our son's backpack as he
walked him to the bus stop, broke into my house when I was at work,
showered, ate my food, and stole my bike! Did I press charges? NO! Why?
Because any sane, decent person realizes that these are family not
government issues!
So here we are today, and
while I am waiting to fight these charges, I haven't been able to move
because of everything going on. My relationships with my mom and sister are
strained. My parenting role is strained because I only see my son every
other week now, don't call him when he's at his dad's, for obvious reasons,
and this is all taking a toll on my son who is moody and stressed by this
parental discord, (not to mention my current cheerful mood)!
Side note question? I don't
think my ex should have any voice or control in where I live or what I do
with my life! Is that not the general American consensus?
Finally, on my laundry list
of personal attacks, I have been talking to ARMY recruiters and have decided
to move my nursing career in that direction, but one problem is that I can't
have a legal record! I am trying to serve our country and our
soldiers/veterans and all this bulls--t created by my psycho ex has the
possibility of damaging my career!
I don't really want to do
the things I daydream about when I am angry thinking of all this, not
really, but I don't think he should get away with it either! Vengeance is
the Lord's, but I wouldn't mind seeing him get just a little BEFORE Christ
returns!
So what are your thoughts?
Is a little payback in order? Obviously nothing illegal or truly harmful!
But I think I deserve some retribution!
Thanks!
Hi,
I think that more than a little payback is required in your case…
BUT I would still put your professional needs first. And the needs of your
son, as how a teen needs their mother in their life, before any revenge was
considered here.
You’ve only got a couple of years left with being tied to this asshole
through your son.
Once your son is 18, he’s an adult and the issues with your ex end… except
for the back child support, which you didn’t say you were suing for?
Why is that?
You’ve been way to patient, way to forgiving and now you need to look out
for yourself here, stop being the dog’s dinner.
Clear up these legal issues, get your life in order from the chaos that
surrounds you. Recreate the loving relationship you had with your son, DO
NOT let the fact that he’s at your ex’s be the reason why you don’t call.
Get your son his own cell phone so you can call him whenever you want
without that jerk knowing about it.
Make sure it’s understood that it’s YOUR phone being LENT to your son, so if
he takes it away or makes it inaccessible you can have him charged with
custodial interference and theft.
The guy is a bum and it’s not hard to ruin a bum’s life.
I just don’t want you ruining your life.
Once your life is settled I would suggest the revenge plans starting. And
for that I would start an anonymous campaign to destabilize him from his
high perch. A few well placed
www.RevengeCall.com calls to his work, his landlord and whoever else
might be involved in his life should do the trick. Revenge Call is anonymous
and you can change your voice and caller display too. Maybe to his work
leave messages from a gay lover or a bookie for gambling debts. Do the same
with family, friends of his. Take what little he has left and smash it in
lies, innuendo and false allegations that seem true.
And eye for an eye.
© 2006-2008
RevengeGuy.com
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